"Why every woman secretly craves a daughter" - Telegraph article

[channing55]

Apparently 80% of British couples who have traveled to America to choose the gender of their baby want a girl.

What do people think? Is Beverly Turner right? Do all women secretly (or not) crave a daughter?

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/10980660/IVF-sex-selection-why-every-woman-secretly-craves-a-daughter.html

bauhaus

Can you talk to DS2 about adoring his mother, please ?

My favourite toy when I was growing up was my Winchester Repeater rifle. I craved a train set, adventure kit & chemistry set.

I despised dolls, tea sets, dressing up outfits & girls bloody world.

I played with the lads, me!

I have three girls. In all honesty if they were three boys I would love them the same but yes I think would feel the lack of a daughter in a way I do not feel the lack of a son.

A friend's partner is convinced that no man truly loves his daughter,at least not as much as he could love a son. Any father who says otherwise is lying apparently.hmm

They have two boys. His partner is six months pregnant with a girl,and he's not at all happy.

Please tell me thats not true!?! Poor woman, poor baby!

'Women crave daughters' seems to be the currently favoured Heated Debate Topic ™ in the same vein as 'are brunettes more intelligent that blondes?'

Zzzzzzz.

I've grazed through a few more of her articles.

She warbles on some more about not being 'brave' enough to send her children to state school. Again in that nauseatingly 'you know what I'm talking about because we are one uni-mind under the cappuccino froth ' tone.

I was about 55/45 percent wanting a boy for my first, and got one.
For my second, it was closer to 50/50 - there were pros and cons for both - already having all the boy clothes probably being the biggest pro!
DS1 wasn't even bothered (in fact he's since asked for a sister, poor boy, it's not going to happen).
DH was more in favour of another boy.

I got DS2.

I was conscious of a tiny sigh of regret, but not for all that girly shopping/clothes/makeup shizzle, it was because of my books. All those books that I had loved and read and kept for years, in the hope that I would be able to pass them on to any DD I had - and I have 2 DSs. They will of course still read many of my books, but they're not seriously going to be into reading "What Katy Did", or "Little Women" or "Anne of Green Gables" etc., are they. Books I loved when I was a girl (I also had boy-type books, and in fact have the full set of Just William books too, which I also loved!)
But it's easier for girls to read "boy" books than for boys to read "girl" books, IMO and IME.

I am positive that the women travelling off abroad are not trying to produce a child to play in the dirt, have muddy football kit and e very knowledgeable about cars, Mumraathenoisylion!
They are thinking pretty baby dresses, long hair, soul mate in later life etc
Above all they go for the utter tosh of the old proverb!

I did want a girl - though I never said that to anyone in RL. My reason has nothing to do with playing with dolls or dressing her up. I have a fantastic relationship with my DM and wanted the same for myself and a DD. There is no way that I would have gone to the US to choose gender.

I did get a DD. I had convinced myself that she was a boy, I think to avoid disappointment and I am fairly certain that I would have been fine with a boy. She is an absolute mini-me and looks just like I did at her age. What amazes me is that DH thinks of her as a mini-him, despite her looking like me, being a girl etc. It makes me realise how little it matters whether you have a boy or girl, or who they resemble as you just love the child you have.

I agree, Mumraa. Just as with football and boys.

My mother was longing for me to read 'Anne of Greengables', Thumbwitch and I loathed it- never got beyond the 2nd chapter!

Goodness, she's negative and patronising about her own son.

I expected a boy, in my family girls are always last born for some reason and hubbys family dont really get girls at all.

I never really had a strong preference but kind of liked the idea of boys more.

Ah there you go then Delphinium - I'm spared that pain.

as somebody said up thread - all it actually shows is that 80% of people choosing to travel to America to select gender wanted a girl NOT that everyone does

If anyone really does they are welcome to borrow one of mine - I'll send you whoever happens to be the most teary/doorslammy/hormonal that day

I want kids - I was lucky enough to have 3 - the gender didn't enter into it although by the time dd3 came alone we had concluded that boys where not going to happen

That is why I was scared when I thought I might be expecting a girl after DS1. The temptation to stereotype small children on the basis of their gender (as Beverly does) is very strong in our culture.

As it is, with 2 boys, I see that differences between children are as much to do with personality or birth order as they are gender

NB that last statement confused even me - to be clear, after multiple MC and 2 girls I was 99.9% sure number 3 would also be a girl since I seemed unable to carry boys - if that makes more sense

Goodness - she's really into the stereotypes, isn't she!

My DSs both love to help in the home - DS1 (6) loves baking, he lays the table, he fills and empties the dishwasher (plates and cutlery only); DS2 (21mo) loves the toy Henry vacuum, and only last week he carefully filled up the tumbledrier for me (admittedly with a pile of clothes waiting to be washed but the thought was there! At least he couldn't work out how to switch it on...)

Thumbwitch

yy

I really need to take a long hard look at DS1. He seems to not be a boy after all.

And DS2 lays the table and helps - maybe because there's no girl in the house to do it

My DS2 is a big helper too - v domesticated little chap. DS1 isn't - but not because he is out kicking a football but because he has his nose in a book all the time. Or is going a drawing. Like a....person. Hate this kind of lazy-arse stereotyping, does no-one any favours. DS3 as yet an unknown quantity. And no, despite the many people who have asked, he wasn't my attempt to have a girl, and no, I am not having any more in order to 'try again'. Sheesh.

"doing" a drawing.

Yes, my 2 yr old DS, who apparently should be making me "clueless and upset" loves cooking, housework and sitting quietly threading beads. Also likes screaming round the garden, climbing trees that are far too difficult for him, and playing with sticks and mud. Rather like I was at his age...

I've said before, but he was very prem, and even at minus 8 weeks (ie 32 weeks gestation) if he wriggled round the incubator, the nurses would say "oh look, a typical boy." Stereotyping before age zero!! Really pissed me off.

Oh, and he is an amateur tantrum thrower compared to me!

Haven't read article this type of shit pisses me off, for as long ad I can remember I wanted four children, luckily dp agreed and we had four fabulous boys, then a combination of debating a fifth and not being as careful as we should have been meant we had no 5, a girl. Honestly judging by the comments that I still get now she us three you would think we have hit the jackpot!

I love my family of five and tbh if we could afford it I would have another.

We had relatives say they were disappointed when ds3. And then ds4 were born... Let's just say it was s good job they Saud it over the phone and not to my face!

They are all different with their own amazing personalities. Truthfully yes I have enjoyed some if the lovely girl outfits, not pink but there are some lovely girls clothes, she also wears lots of of her brothers hand me downs and lots of unisex clothes as her brothers did.

If anything I was slightly scared of having a daughter as I have not always had a great relationship with my own mum. But my daughter's not me and I am not my mum!

I didn't have a preference and if we ever have another I won't have a preference, I am just grateful I have been able to have my five, that I had easy pregnancies and straightforward births and healthy children (would obviously love them even if they had any health issues but I am grateful for their good health iyswim).

Shall now go read the bollocks..

Could clinics in the US come up with a technique for ensuring the conception of a child who can be guaranteed never to spout drivel like this?