"Why every woman secretly craves a daughter" - Telegraph article

[channing55]

Apparently 80% of British couples who have traveled to America to choose the gender of their baby want a girl.

What do people think? Is Beverly Turner right? Do all women secretly (or not) crave a daughter?

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/10980660/IVF-sex-selection-why-every-woman-secretly-craves-a-daughter.html

I have 3 boys, I knew during each pregnancy they were boys, gut instinct. I was thrilled when I was right.

I have never craved a daughter, ever!

Haven't read the article. Always wanted a DD. And as soon as I had her, I confused everyone by dressing her 'like a boy' - ie not in pink frilly stuff. Because apparently the only reason I could possibly want a girl was to treat her like a doll .

My reasons were a lot more complex than that. I'm an individual, not 'every woman' and I don't presume to know what all other women want and/or why. Unlike the writer of this article, evidently.

I kind of had a slight preference when I was pg. I hate football, love ballet, dance, gymnastics.

Then I thought if it's a boy why the fuck can't I take him to ballet classes, and gymnastics, and swimming. There isn't anything I can do with a girl that I can't do with a boy.

I might have had a girl who loved basketball and football. I might have had a boy who loved to dance (and how fantastic are male ballet dancers, better than girls IMO!).

I might have had a boy (or girl) who likes shopping. I hate it!

You get a person, give them chance to find out who they are and what they enjoy. Don't force your likes on them simply because they're the same gender as you...

I craved a girl, I also craved a boy. I got lucky and had both, though if I had all of one gender I would still consider myself very lucky.
I'd never of considered choosing the sex!!

A friend's partner is convinced that no man truly loves his daughter,at least not as much as he could love a son. Any father who says otherwise is lying apparently.

They have two boys. His partner is six months pregnant with a girl,and he's not at all happy.

By the way, if I'd had a boy I'd have been utterly over-the-moon ecstatic about him too. Just because my childhood made me hope that my baby would be a girl doesn't mean I would have loved him any less.

Never wanted a daughter - apparently the craving was so secret, that my brain forgot to tell me.

I've always wanted girls- and I've got three daughters.

I'm not girly meself- I dress in black and love kickboxing classes- but I just find it easier to relate to girls.

I love other people's sons and am not anti-boy at all. I just can't picture myself with a son.

There is so much wrong with that article that I don't know where to start.

OK: the stats. So actually we are looking at a tiny number of Brits who can afford to travel to the U.S specifically in order to determine the sex of the baby. And she fails to mention the number attending the clinic that already have 2 or more sons.

The guff about the difficulty of male toddlers. No proof that boy toddlers' tantrums are harder to deal with or more common.

The hideous conspiratorial 'I know you're secretly thinking what I am thinking' tone.

The idea that all of us mothers are at home with the Princess play scenario and love it, that we all prefer children to quietly colour than be adventurous....perpetrating the very stereotypes she almost purports to want changed or challenged.

I daresay many women (and men) long for a daughter, and why not. I daresay many long for a son. Let's look at that seriously, if it is interesting - and it has to be more interesting than 'because they like colouring', please!!

Tbh I'd be happy if I was blessed either ds or dd. either will be loved....

SaucyJack - when I was pg I secretly hoped for a girl, more than for a boy - because I couldn't see myself relating to a boy...now I have a boy I feel the opposite.

Experience confounds us and makes what we have the norm, and what we come to know and love.

I longed to have daughters and I have two wonderful DD's.

Abso

Excellent post

I just wanted a healthy baby. People who can travel so far and pay the money just want a commodity. I love the fact you have what nature gives you.

2You get a person, give them chance to find out who they are and what they enjoy. Don't force your likes on them simply because they're the same gender as you..."

This.

So fed up of these articles lately.

I have a ds, I secretly really wanted a ds (though mostly just a child) and I'd be 100% happy with another ds.

I love my boy and I love all the so called boy stuff.

Sure a daughter would be more likely so shop with me when she's in her 20's but I have no desire for that.

I really want a girl to be honest.

If I only have boys I'm sure I'll be fine with that :) but if I could only gave one gender I'd definitely want girls.

I hated shopping with my mum. She always wanted to buy me dresses

I have two sons. I wouldn't have minded one being a girl but i would have been gutted not to have any boys. if I had a third, I'd want another boy. The anti-girl thing is mainly down to having a terrible relationship with my own mother. Also I really like the way boys absolutely adore their mothers and I need that.

In my heart I wanted 2 boys and a girl. No idea why, its how I saw my family and its what we got. Any other arrangement would have been equally loved.

Ive hardly been able to buy dd any clothes yet the amount she has kindly been handed down from friends but its not the pink frilly stuff I put her in despite the "I bet you are so pleased to finally have a daughter to dress up" comments.

She will be treated the same as her brothers, free to choose her own path.... and jeans and t shirts are so much more practical for young kids that want to climb and run than frilly dresses.

I think it sad that the main reason is the thought that a girl is more likely to conform to what the mother wants her to be. Strange -as experience should tell you that it doesn't always happen!

I don't remember the mind probe that led them to this conclusion......

I have one of each, had no strong preference when pregnant with dc2 (a girl) but was desperate for a boy with dc1 who was a boy!! I was worried I won't know how to deal with a girl first time however my ds is the sweetest, gentlest most loving little boy and dd is a real tomboy. I love them both equally and they are different as they are different people not different genders.

Why do people always relate having a daughter to shopping and make-up? it feels so degrading - like that's all little girls are there for. Particularly if that's the reason you wouldn't want a girl...if you don't like shopping and you are female what makes you think it's innate to females?

Fortunately for some they can look past gender and realise the media have created these 'roles for the sexes.'

You know girls can play in dirt, ride bikes, skim stones, play with cars too...

It is also odd that I think that genes play a huge part and your DD is just as likely to be like her grandmother as mother. It is hoped women like their MIL because they are quite likely to get a mini one!