Is my friend being unreasonable about his wedding?

[CannulaNellie]

I'm not emotionally invested in this and can see both sides of the coin but am interested in what others think.

I have a friend who's getting married in his future in-laws country house - very lovely indeed. The house is completely private and not open to the public but is set in large and pretty grounds, a couple of fields I think as well as a garden.

Invitations arrived a week or so ago and in that blurb pamphlet thing that often accompanies wedding invitations there was a bit about accommodation. Previous to the invitations being sent out the couple had said to lots of people that as the location was quite remote guests would be welcome to camp in the fields if they wanted. Anyway, the pamphlet mentioned camping and said that they would be charging £20 per head for this which would be going to a children's charity, so for a family of 4 £80.

In our friendship group there has been much muttering about this charge as virtually everyone is travelling to attend with their whole family. Some people think it's a very bizarre thing to do and why not just have donations to charity in lieu of wedding presents if that's something the couple feel strongly about, and others are happy to 'pay' despite there being no facilities as such and that there are local campsites that charge £25 per night in total.

What do you think?

Sounds like a BBQ and late night drinking outside your tents will be a more fun evening anyway. This really doesn't sound even vaguely thought through for families - children don't disappear when they are inconvenient, even when it's a wedding.

Why not just sack off the wedding and arrange to meet the other friends at the proper campsite ? Sounds more fun.

Maybe the "children's charity" provides the food and pisspots for the abandoned children in the campsites.

Mother Teresa don't have shit on these folks.

And I love Dolly.

Cannula... Do you think by 'grounds' they mean the house itself? Just grasping at straws. Glad they're not my friends if they are rich but want presents plus the kudos of gifting to a charity at their friends' expense! No wonder they're minted!

Get ready for a wedding....in a tent? High heels in a field? Not a chance! Where would you plug in the straighteners? Where's the full length mirror? Heck, where's the toilet?!

I think charging guests to pitch tents is so weird, unless the field was due to be arable/dairy farming and they're running at a loss as a result of preparing this "campsite" - unlikely! Very very strange and I agree that it's a bit grabby.

But the best party will be at the campsite with feral children, everyone kicked off their shoes ... Make sure you take marshmallows and hot dogs and start a campfire

@ Norbert that's one fuckuva typo, don't we think?

Best wedding thread EVER! Please update!

I'll definitely let you know what they say about the child situation :-)

This also assumes it's going to be lovely sunny weather- what if it rains heavily, the ground is soggy and so on. Can you really get dressed for a wedding inside a tent- and what will the children do if it is raining? I always think you need a Plan B with camping.

PedantMarina -well, there just has to be some explanation or mistake surely

Can we call them Tentzilla?

"Can we call them Tentzilla?" pointy

"I always think you need a Plan B with camping."

Like not doing it??!!

I think they just haven't thought it through and think they are doing you a favour by providing somewhere to camp. Sounds quite hideous though.

The 20 pounds a head is to cover a kids club in a marquee, staffed by qualified nannies and equipped with a field-kitchen (complete with child friendly cook), and the deluxe toilet block/ changing room facilities they are building next to it.

Although in fact it isn't and they are clueless. Its all very well saying people like this are "lovely" but don't live in the real world, but really if you are less generous spirited its equally valid to say they are utterly self absorbed and thoughtless... The "just think" in the invite irrationally points in that direction IMO :o

"Just think" they say, when they clearly haven't!

OP Please update us as things progress - I'm totally riveted now!

I love this time of year for bonkerooney wedding threads.

Marking place :D

Book a hotel

nice rsvp - hotel booked but thanks...

This is brilliantly hilarious! Make sure your DH doesn't think it'll be fine to get ready in a tent, it sounds like a recipe for disaster! And for goodness' sake make sure there are loos, since the notion of waking up to a field full of richards is deeply abhorrent...

I can imagine it being fun in the camping field. If there are half a dozen families there parents will take it in turns during the evening do, so just one parent goes to keep an eye on all the kids. And I would interpret £20 pp as £20 per adult, which is a lot more realistic. Just pay them that, and act confused (and then leave) if they ask for more.

No comms from the happy couple yet.

I imagine they're thinking it will be festival-esque, which it may well turn out to be (along with minging portaloos) if the weather is good. If it rains it will be a fucking mud bath and the next days hog roast will be ill attended. A lot of the guests are quite rah di posh and childless so it's probably all sounding wizard to them!

Safe to say I probably won't be in my best wedding togs, I can't bear to think of any of my beautiful shoes to be exposed to a field with possible poo.

Have those of your friends who are happy to pay been camping before? How are they going to get ready for a wedding in a tent and no access to a bathroom?!

They will allow access to the house - they probably haven't mentioned it because it goes without saying. They will have several bathrooms in the mansion.