Is my friend being unreasonable about his wedding?

[CannulaNellie]

I'm not emotionally invested in this and can see both sides of the coin but am interested in what others think.

I have a friend who's getting married in his future in-laws country house - very lovely indeed. The house is completely private and not open to the public but is set in large and pretty grounds, a couple of fields I think as well as a garden.

Invitations arrived a week or so ago and in that blurb pamphlet thing that often accompanies wedding invitations there was a bit about accommodation. Previous to the invitations being sent out the couple had said to lots of people that as the location was quite remote guests would be welcome to camp in the fields if they wanted. Anyway, the pamphlet mentioned camping and said that they would be charging £20 per head for this which would be going to a children's charity, so for a family of 4 £80.

In our friendship group there has been much muttering about this charge as virtually everyone is travelling to attend with their whole family. Some people think it's a very bizarre thing to do and why not just have donations to charity in lieu of wedding presents if that's something the couple feel strongly about, and others are happy to 'pay' despite there being no facilities as such and that there are local campsites that charge £25 per night in total.

What do you think?

other alternative is to donate the money instead of a wedding present and i would also just do it for the 2 adults and if anyone asked say sorry bob the baby couldn't afford £20 sorry

Oh no - this happened to me! I went to stay at a friend's grand house for their wedding, and we were put up in the local cottages on their land. Imagine our horror the next morning when, bleary and hungover, we all had to produce buckets of cash as the cottage was their 'holiday rental' and they were claiming their rent.

Luckily most people were still pissed so didn't begrudge it, but everyone laughed at them. What is it with people making money out of guests at weddings? No one will ever forget what they did, forevermore.

I now have this slightly surreal mental image of loads of people in morning suits and posh frocks fighting to get their tents up in the pissing rain ...

Mad as a box of frogs, anyway! Taxi and travelodge iss the way to go ...

Surely, it's simple - book some place else quick - especially if it's remote and there is lack of accommodation in the vicinity. Just do what you would have done in any event - don't take them up on their offer!

Just when I think there can't be another new way for people to be unreasonable when it comes to weddings, up pops the Camping-For-Charity angle. Utterly utterly insane.

For those unsure about standard camping fees, DH and I camped for two nights at a highly rated site at the weekend, excellent facilities, views and pizza oven on-site. We paid £26 for both of us and the dog for two nights (12 per night for the pitch and £2 per night for PruHound)

I love the thought of how on earth they propose to collect the monies. the whole thing is absurd. OP, please do the right thing and keep us informed how this all pans out.

So are all these mad weddings a sign of the times or a UK thing?

I'd be going to a nearby campsite and buying the happy couple a voucher for a community goat.

Oops not £2 per night, just £2 for the dog

How far away is it?
I'm thinking: all club together for minibuses/coach home.
Gets rid of all the guests in one swoop too.

Maybe the couple told everyone they could camp there without asking the in-laws first and they are hoping the fee will put everyone off?! Personally I can't imagine anything worse than getting ready for a wedding in a tent, and in a field with no facilities? No way!
Very odd, not heard anything like this before!

Wow, completely taking the piss.

DEFINITELY make a donation to charity in lieu of giving them a present. Then stay in the other campsite.

Are they trying to do a good thing in a totally bizarre, lost touch with reality kind of way?

Usually camping per family costs £25 total. They obviously think everyone else is as minted as they are. I'd camp at the campsite. And tell your friend that you couldn't afford to stay on site.

Penny drops - Maybe that's actually the plan - this inlaws don't want anyone camping so the charge is to put people off. Cunning

£20 per head? £20 per family is reasonable, but not per head.

We camped last summer - showers, toilets, children's playground, swimming pool - £27 for the whole pitch (there was 5 of us)

I like the way they haven't said that all the money raised will go to charity. Well, a charity other than Save The Wedding Outlay.

Cheaper than a hotel???

Travelodge practically give away hotel rooms with warmth, king size beds and toilet facilities!!!

They sound a little out of the loop to be honest.....

Are you all meant to arrive in your weddi g clobber and pitch tentts meh no country house is that remote that you cant organisr a minibus to town with other guests and stay in abproper campsite or b n b

Think I'd be giving it a miss. Strange people.

" Just think! Cheaper than a hotel and you'll be doing your bit for the community "

Oh that would fuck me right off tbh!

Perhaps those who are OK to pay all want to get pissed can't decide on a driver.

my husband went to a funeral wake a few weeks ago and everyone was asked to bring food. these people don't appear to be poor either (2m house etc).

Why have you asked if friend ibu?

Is it his idea to charge for the camping & send the money to charity?

If I did camp there, I doubt that I'd be buying a pressie as well.

I think this is outrageous - I would go to a B&B or camp at a local site that actually has facilities and will be cheaper per head than this. Otherwise all the campers will be fighting over the bathroom and paying for the privilege.

Organise this with the friends who don't want to cough up this extortionate sum, and book a minibus to get you all to and from the house.

They want to use you to play Lady Bountiful in their community - without incurring any cost or inconvenience themselves.

They are lovely people so I genuinely think they just haven't really thought it through / don't realise it's a bit bizarre / think everyone is as we'll off as them.

Diddl, yes, it's a decision made by the happy couple as far as I know.

That is really cheeky!

What about emailing them back saying something like:

"Dear hosts, thank you for the offer to pitch our tent in your grounds, we will be delighted. However, we have always supported X Charity so we will make a donation to them before we leave. Look forward to seeing you next month!, Cannula"