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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is my friend being unreasonable about his wedding?

216 replies

CannulaNellie · 02/07/2014 14:11

I'm not emotionally invested in this and can see both sides of the coin but am interested in what others think.

I have a friend who's getting married in his future in-laws country house - very lovely indeed. The house is completely private and not open to the public but is set in large and pretty grounds, a couple of fields I think as well as a garden.

Invitations arrived a week or so ago and in that blurb pamphlet thing that often accompanies wedding invitations there was a bit about accommodation. Previous to the invitations being sent out the couple had said to lots of people that as the location was quite remote guests would be welcome to camp in the fields if they wanted. Anyway, the pamphlet mentioned camping and said that they would be charging £20 per head for this which would be going to a children's charity, so for a family of 4 £80.

In our friendship group there has been much muttering about this charge as virtually everyone is travelling to attend with their whole family. Some people think it's a very bizarre thing to do and why not just have donations to charity in lieu of wedding presents if that's something the couple feel strongly about, and others are happy to 'pay' despite there being no facilities as such and that there are local campsites that charge £25 per night in total.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 02/07/2014 19:10

Stuff that. Stay in a local pub or B&B even a premier in prob cheaper!!

Only1scoop · 02/07/2014 19:13

Also ask if you can gift the camp charity rather than purchase anything for them.

We attended a huge wedding similar thing in grounds of their own mansion....some of the guests did camp and caterers supplied breakfast next morning and there were huge posh mobile toilet blocks supplied....

They wouldn't dreamed of doing that!!

ExcuseTypos · 02/07/2014 19:22

I font think you'd get a hotel room gfor the night for 4 for £80 so they are correct. However I think they are really off to 'force' everyone to give ot charity when they also have the other expenses of attending a wedding.

I'd also be really worried about the lack of loosGrin

wowfudge · 02/07/2014 19:23

Is there no end to the inventiveness of bride and groom zillas? How to piss most of your guests off in one easy step...

Book the Premier Inn, but turn up at the venue and ask where the luxury yurts are, while trailing your suitcases and dress carriers, etc (i.e. obviously not prepared for camping properly). Watch their faces as they realise they may have to put you up in the house.

Inertia · 02/07/2014 19:23

For £ 20 pppn I would want a bed, a bathroom and an indoors !£ 20 per tent is reasonable on a fully equipped campsite - quadruple that for somebody's back garden is crazy.

I would drive to the nearest hotel , and make the charity donation in lieu of a gift.

ViviPru · 02/07/2014 19:37

The kids till X:XX pm is the icing on the cake. This is officially the looniest wedding scenario in the history of MN. I think it even tops gluezilla.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 02/07/2014 20:20

I went to a posh remote wedding with kids in the day, adults only in the evening but they provided baby-sitters (free). It was awesome!

ENormaSnob · 02/07/2014 20:27

They are cheeky tight fuckers.

TortoiseUpATreeAgain · 02/07/2014 20:28

We're camping in proper campsites with proper loo blocks and facilities this August and they are costing £19 and £21 a night for five of us, so around £4 a head. Even bells-and-whistles fancy-schmantzy campsites with indoor pools and entertainment don't cost more than about £10 pp per night.

They are on glue, if not something stronger.

Fluffycloudland77 · 02/07/2014 20:34

It gets worse. I wouldn't go personally.

Sicaq · 02/07/2014 20:43

If you go, don't hand over cash. Make your donation in advance directly to the charity, and give said family the receipt.

Cynical, aye, but experience has taught me ...

IDontDoIroning · 02/07/2014 20:46

So you will tuck the little ones up in their sleeping bags, zip up the tents and trot off up the field into the big house for the party.
This assumes they will all drop blissfully off to sleep immediately won't be disturbed by the change in surroundings, wont be upset by being left won't wake up and cry, get out if the tent wander off etc
Okay - maybe it's not such a good idea then.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 02/07/2014 20:50

So what on earth do they expect you to do with your hungry children in the evening? Take it in turns to baby sit with a takeaway??

Only1scoop · 02/07/2014 20:53

Forgot to add earlier ....I'd expect a fully erected yurt with butler service for that.

eddielizzard · 02/07/2014 20:54

really life just gets more bizarre.

i would go, but not avail myself of their generous offer.

perhaps they don't mind you traipsing into the house to use the loo or the bath whenever you feel like it. or make yourself a bacon buttie if you get the urge.

SisterMoonshine · 02/07/2014 20:55

Looking forward to seeing how this one pans out...

Original poster
CannulaNellie · 02/07/2014 21:07

I am further considering this in the bath (I will ring him soon I promise!) what if I need a wee in the night? The house will surely be locked up?!

Wedding isn't until August so I'll report how it goes.

OP posts:
Monopolice · 02/07/2014 21:22

I've been to a camp on-site after reception (at a farm) - it was 1. Free, 2. With hired portaloos - very posh ones at that, 3. Children compulsory - no babysitters but plenty of entertainment.

diddl · 02/07/2014 21:29

Doesn't sound well thought out if they expect people to just leave kids unsupervised!

FairPhyllis · 02/07/2014 21:31

Ahahahahahahaha

A no-children reception with camping on top? So you are supposed to leave your (how young?) children in a tent with no food all evening? And this scenario also assumes they won't wander out in the dark, or get disoriented and upset without parents there for hours on end? Or need the loo? Or need any food? I say again

Ahahahahahahaha

This is already my favourite wedding thread ever.

ExcuseTypos · 02/07/2014 21:42

How can they invite the dc to only the ceremony? They obviously think you'll all be bringing nannies.

We've got friends like this- they are lovely but do not have a clue. She once asked me how I coped without a nanny during the summer holidays. I don't work and neither does she. Hmm Grin

Zillwood · 02/07/2014 21:50

Unbelievable!!! Mean.

Original poster
CannulaNellie · 02/07/2014 22:12

There seem to be a few people who have toddlers invited so I'm fascinated to see how this plays out.

They'll either get a lot of declines or loads of people will stay elsewhere and not do the evening thing, or we'll take it in shifts to eat then sit in the worlds most expensive wild campsite having a parents party of our own.

They're DHs mates and we're planning on going on the way home from from a proper week camping holiday so I'm going to leave it to him to arrange.

I'm off to see if there are any goats or beehives on their JL gift list.

OP posts:
erin99 · 02/07/2014 22:17

I don't think they expect people to leave children unsupervised or bring sandwiches for them, I think they expect people to leave their children at home. TBF if you do stay in a travelodge, or more expensive hotel vaguely nearby, you still can't drop them off in the hotel room and come back to the party. Treat the camping like a hotel in terms of logistics - just not a goer with unwelcome DC.

TortoiseUpATreeAgain · 02/07/2014 22:20

You can, however, hire a babysitter to watch your children in a hotel. In a tent, not so much.