Is my friend being unreasonable about his wedding?

[CannulaNellie]

I'm not emotionally invested in this and can see both sides of the coin but am interested in what others think.

I have a friend who's getting married in his future in-laws country house - very lovely indeed. The house is completely private and not open to the public but is set in large and pretty grounds, a couple of fields I think as well as a garden.

Invitations arrived a week or so ago and in that blurb pamphlet thing that often accompanies wedding invitations there was a bit about accommodation. Previous to the invitations being sent out the couple had said to lots of people that as the location was quite remote guests would be welcome to camp in the fields if they wanted. Anyway, the pamphlet mentioned camping and said that they would be charging £20 per head for this which would be going to a children's charity, so for a family of 4 £80.

In our friendship group there has been much muttering about this charge as virtually everyone is travelling to attend with their whole family. Some people think it's a very bizarre thing to do and why not just have donations to charity in lieu of wedding presents if that's something the couple feel strongly about, and others are happy to 'pay' despite there being no facilities as such and that there are local campsites that charge £25 per night in total.

What do you think?

Of course it's bizarre! £20 a head!! Pair of fucknuggets.

In the nicest possible way....

Oh my god! I'd never consider paying that for a proper camping holiday let alone a random patch of field! Definitely very unreasonable! And they still want wedding presents as well?

I would absolutely head for a nearby campsite or B&B.

So the money is going to a children's charity but the evening wedding do is child-free. .

Anyone else think that's a bit odd?

Also...if whole families are camping, but the evening is wedding free....how does that work?
Do parents take it in turns to sit on their £80 patch of grass while the other one goes for a drink?
What?

I don't get why they've stated that the cost will be approx £20.

Maybe they've organised portaloos/shower block/McBreakfast/Dolly/etc and will divvy the cost amongst the campers?

But that doesn't account for why they're saying the money will go to charity.

Hmm. I've just blown my own theory out of the water......

I think it's more weird that everyone is going with their families and the evening event is childfree. Will the numbers halve as one half of the couple goes back to their tent/Travelodge to look after the kids?

Wedding free? Child free obv.

Repeating pictish's post- the whole thing doesn't sound thought out, do you really want to go?

I really Luke the polite response suggested BT hotdrinkandaliedown (hope I got that name right)

They are very presumptuous. I can't imagine trying to get changed for or from a wedding in a tent.

What if the weather is less than favourable???

Sorry, that should be like not Luke (oops)

So it's £80 for a night's camping with no facilities, where your kids aren't allowed in the clubhouse?
Sounds fun!

Tell them you've already been to several fundraising events recently and give this one a miss.

Someone else asked up thread- can you do a wedding in a private house anyway? I guess they will have thought of this!

Are you sure they'd charge for the children? Either way it's still bizarre.

No way I'd be replying anything other than "err, no." They lost all hope at "just think!" But book a Premier Inn or something sharpish before they all book up.

Yes, its a bit grandiose and unhospitable. Are they a noveau riche type? Its sort of like saying "We own all this land and we are so magnificent that we can charge people for the privilege of staying on it so we can redistribute their income to charity for them".

Ugh.

They lost all hope at "just think!"

I agree. We thought...and lo it was shite.

Sorry not to be clear, wedding ceremony is in the village church then back to the 'venue' for drinkies at which children are welcome. The sit down meal and party in the evening are child free apart from family children.

They are a sweet childless couple in their 30s so I have a sneaking suspicion that they are imagining people leaving their immaculately behaved tots picturesquely asleep in the tent-field whilst they enjoy the evening (not happening in my tent!) or maybe more local people will treat it as a night out and have granny collect the kids or something.

I really don't know what they're thinking those of us with kids will do - I'll have to ring and ask

Fuck that shit.

Book a hotel with running water, electricity and an actual bed. If you book early enough you might even get a travel lodge for under £20 for two of you.

Bung your favourite charity a couple of quid as well, if you like.

So what do the kids who are camping eat, if it's no kids at the meal?

Excellent question Pictish!

The happy couple have to shoulder some of the blame for this ill thought out idea.

The guests children will just have to fend for themselves because quite frankly they play no part in the planned festivities.

Just text and say thanks but no thanks I have better plans for my childrens time.

Well, now this is one way the bride can be sure no one outshines her on the day - make sure guests get changed in tents. And at night all the little children are in the grounds in tents obviously playing with fairies. Yes, some people are so sweet they're stupid.

You'll need to suggest a mini-pyramid stage with Nanny McPhee, lightshow and face-painters for the little ones. And maybe Gnarls Barkley for when the parents drag themselves back to their tents in their reception finery.

So they want to starve and neglect the children going to the wedding, who will be bored to tears in the church.. But want to collect money for a children's charity? wow.

I know what's happened ....it was a printer error on the invite.

They missed off the bit that explained the £20 per head covered child care, children's entertainment, children's meal and baby sitters for the evening in the camping field (which will have hot showers and lovely luxurious toilets) whilst the adults enjoy the evening entertainment.

The money will also cover breakfast in bed delivered to your tent in the morning whilst the babysitters return to take your children off your hands for a few hours whilst you shake off your hangovers.