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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friends DP is unquestionably a twat?

195 replies

NickiFury · 01/06/2014 20:25

They went on holiday. Different flights as she had air miles for one air line, he for another, but arriving at around the same time. His flight about 20 minutes before hers and their dc.

On arrival, my friend quickly grabbed her dc something to eat in Arrivals as the dc won't eat airplane food and so had not eaten anything substantial for about 8 hours. She did not eat herself and rushed kids. She then had to go through passport control, which took 45 minutes, she could not call her DH because no phones are allowed out in passport control of this particular country.

When she got through he made repeated smarmy comments about having been kept waiting and how nice it was that everyone was sitting down and eating while he was kept waiting. She explained that the kids were hungry and how long passport control took, he did not believe it took 45 minutes as it only took him 10, continued to berate her and now even months later still mentions it and maintains he was unfairly treated.

AIBU to think that hungry dc come before grown adult men who can presumably read the paper, fiddle about on phones and get themselves something to eat while they wait?

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 01/06/2014 20:28

Yabu, how was he supposed to know that they're sitting eating or if something is genuinely wrong and taking so long.

squoosh · 01/06/2014 20:28

I was going to say YABU as lots of people big and small can be tired and cranky after a long flight. However you say he's still bleating on about it months later? Fuck that.

He is a whining bore and YANBU.

softlysoftly · 01/06/2014 20:29

She should probably have done snack on the run through passport control then eat on the other side so I can see his point.

Though keeping on about it months later is a bit Hmm

Original poster
NickiFury · 01/06/2014 20:30

They weren't sitting eating, she stuffed some food into them and rushed off to passport control, where she couldn't use her phone.

Does a grown man having to wait a while, trump hungry kids who haven't eaten for 8 hours then? I haven't said anything about him being worried in my OP because he didn't, just that he was fed up with being kept waiting.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 01/06/2014 20:31

He got to fly alone and she had both kids? Lucky bastard should be kissing her feet.

Blondie1984 · 01/06/2014 20:32

I can see it from both sides - she clearly knows that her DC don't eat aeroplane food so why didn't she pack things for them to eat rather than them having nothing for 8 hours? After an 8 hour flight I can understand why hanging around for an hour wouldn't go down well....I think your friend needs to be better prepared next time - and maybe save one lot of airmiles by all going together

TheReluctantCountess · 01/06/2014 20:32

After such a long time has passed, he really needs to build a bridge and get over it.

mommy2ash · 01/06/2014 20:33

going on about it months later makes him look silly.

at the time i think he was right though, it sounds like a long time hanging around not knowing what was going on. i would have grabbed something fast and ate together later. i didn't even know airports had somewhere to eat between getting off a plane and going through passport control.

WorraLiberty · 01/06/2014 20:33

It's not about one trumping the other, it's about common sense.

The kids wouldn't have died if they had to hang on a bit longer, to meet up with their Dad.

Mind you, he should have got over it by now but I think she was BU.

Original poster
NickiFury · 01/06/2014 20:34

Oh and in addition the family member who was picking them up hadn't even turned up yet, so it wasn't really her and the dc keeping him waiting at all.

Oh and yes, she always has the dc with her and her on a previous flight, where they flew "as a family" did nothing, so much so that the person sitting next to him (that he slept through) said she hadn't even known he HAD kids or she would have offered to swap so that he could have one with him..........

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MammaTJ · 01/06/2014 20:35

OMG I would think you were being petty if you were one of the people involved still mentioning it on a random website this far along. You are not, you are a friend of one involved. Get a life!

Having said that he is still going on about it, he needs to sort himself out too. This does not negate your need to get a life though!

WorraLiberty · 01/06/2014 20:36

Look you clearly don't like him for you to be sitting here dissecting him on the internet, but how does your friend feel about him?

That's what matters really.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/06/2014 20:36

He sounds like a cock and I can't work out why he's getting such an easy ride of it on here. She had the kids alone for 8 hours and made a judgement call based on how hungry they were.

Original poster
NickiFury · 01/06/2014 20:36

They wouldn't have died no worra but a 45 minute wait in passport control would have been pretty hellish for all concerned I would imagine. She did pack snacks but snacks are not meals.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 01/06/2014 20:36

Or what MammaTJ said basically Grin

ExitPursuedByABear · 01/06/2014 20:37

Surprised there was food to behalf before passport control.

ExitPursuedByABear · 01/06/2014 20:37

Be had. Fucking autocorrect

WorraLiberty · 01/06/2014 20:37

So they had snacks during the 8 hours and yet it would have been 'hellish' for all concerned if they didn't eat when they clicked their fingers?

How would they have coped with a delay?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 01/06/2014 20:38

It all sounds a bit odd - what do you mean by "smarmy" comments? That means sleazy to me.

Moving on from that, he must have quite a charmed life if this is the grossest wrong carried out against him in the last few months. Maybe he could focus on that

However, couldn't she have packed some food/snacks? I'm trying to think about the arrivals halls I've been to and I don't think any had food places until post pSport control. Did she just get them something from a vending machine?

Original poster
NickiFury · 01/06/2014 20:38

My friend is unhappy and berated and I was hoping to get her some strenuous support on here but I obviously misjudged it.

I am posting today as he has had another go at her about it today so it's relevant and I have had her crying on the phone to me about it.

I agree mrsterrypratchett.

OP posts:
deakymom · 01/06/2014 20:41

some countries have massive rules on what food you can bring in so im not surprised she stopped to eat is he the father? she should run if he isn't whining about it after a few minutes is bad enough but months?

although i do still tease my dh about the times he has left me waiting for him (he forgot to collect me and ds more than once) but it is teasing not moaning!!

squoosh · 01/06/2014 20:41

I think his whining months after the event is a bigger problem that their failure to pack snacks for the flight. He must have very little to occupy his mind if he's still feeling aggrieved over this.

Viviennemary · 01/06/2014 20:44

What a mad idea to go on separate flights in the first place. They should have waited for him IMHO. He should leave and find himself a more sympathetic partner.

Original poster
NickiFury · 01/06/2014 20:44

It's a Middle East country and arrivals and departures all filter into the same circular building, anyone who has been there will know it and there's a number of restaurants and snack places in that building.

OP posts:
Original poster
NickiFury · 01/06/2014 20:46

I have said in another post vivienne that even when they travel together he does nothing, so much so that his seat mate didn't even realise he was travelling with his family. So I imagine she didn't really see much point in travelling with him.

OP posts: