AIBU to think that if you want Rupert and Emily to stop running you need to grab hold of them

[Morgause]

We have had a lovely day at a National Trust house. Lovely to see families out enjoying the sunshine and having picnics in the grounds. And lovely to see that most DC were behaving beautifully while still having fun.

Rupert and Emily were exceptions. We went inside the house and turned a corner to see Rupert charging through a room narrowly missing several people. The guide in the room told him he mustn't run. His dad said he had to do as he was told. Rupert shouts, "No!" and runs off pursued by Emily. Mum tells dad to stop them. Dad says she should stop them. They run back. Mum says in the most ineffectual voice I've ever heard, "Rupert and Emily you mustn't run, you could hurt yourselves." "Or someone else," remarked the guide.

Rupert and Emily run round mum in circles. Mum shouts at them to hold her hand, they won't. Dad says he'll take them out. Sadly, he doesn't.

Rupert and Emily run into the next room and crawl under the red rope sectioning off the "do not enter" area. The guide tells them to come out. They won't. Mum and dad arrive and tell them to come out. They won't. Dad steps over rope and grabs them. Sadly he lets them go again and they run off.

We decided to explore a different area of the house.

They were aged about 4 and 6. God help their teachers.

Yanbu, Unfortunatly you often get such 'relaxed' parents who don't seem to bother that their children are interpreting other people's day out.

They're probably really well behaved in school

Maybe they also shouldn't take them somewhere shit if they don't want to go.

If you don't make paintings/furniture/rooms interesting for children then don't take them in - let them run about outside instead. The parents needed to either make it interesting for them or take them the fuck outside.

Tell me those aren't their real names.

YANBU. In the last 2 days I have witnessed on 2 separate occasions a parent issuing an instruction to a child in a shop (when said child has been doing something they shouldn't be). On both occasions the child ignored the instruction and the parent repeated it a few times and then gave up.

I neither tutted, stared or hoiked up my bosom - I just silently thought to myself "if you really want the child to take you seriously then you have to go and get them when you have told them to 'come here' and they have ignored you - other wise they just get the message that you don't really mean it. In one of these cases, I know of the child from school and she doesn't behave well there either.

They aren't their real names, they are names close-ish to their real ones.

Little aiden on the bus earlier wouldnt sit downon the seat even though his mummy toldhim a million times it was driving me nuts

nuff said.

Bet they couldn't make a dog sit still either.
tone of voice is everything.

OH said I should give them the teacher look which, he says, could stop a tank. But I couldn't be arsed today.

Alton Towers yesterday, lots of children and parents watching Mike the Knight show I know how to live. Mr ineffective stands there smiling while his DS runs onto the "stage". Staff bring him back. DS runs off again. Staff bring him back. Repeat about six times. Mr ineffective then stands in the area next to the stage where the characters were walking back and forth so that precious DS could see.

Wonder what goes through some people's heads sometimes.

YADNBU but try being a Nanny.

I've worked for more families who've had appalling discipline then families I've viewed as fair.
In fact one family recent ended my temp contract a day early as they "couldn't stand to see little Timmy upset for being told off". Even though they admitted that telling him off for repeatedly biting me and his sister was reasonable.
Gives me the rage.

Yanbu, what brats

A national Trust house guided tour with roped sections sounds dull as dishwater for young kids. Bad choice of a day out.

Was worried for a moment that this may be me, although I do not have a Rupert...

My two were being ATROCIOUS yesterday in a bike shop, utterly awful, and every time they ran off or screamed I would pick up the younger one whilst she wriggled and kicked me and shrieked, then had to put her down to catch her brother. I actually walked out with them and read them the riot act before we returned to collect the bike (it was in to be fixed).

Ds then decided to ride his bike to the door, cue me bellowing at him to get off and stay put, whilst ghastly toddler wriggled and kicked and screamed at me as I paid the man.

Bike shop man then said 'it's so nice to see a parent actually parenting' - I am still not sure if he was being sarcastic or not. He went on the say 'so many children just run out of the door, and it's not safe, so it's nice to see yours listening to you'

I felt like I was inhabiting a different realm to him at that point, as both children continued to be awful.

There are times I wish I could get away with swaddling them still...

Prob not the most exciting day out for them really - not nice to call kids brats IMHO.

DD was trying to loll all over the airport baggage carousel this weekend. I strapped her in the sling and she went even more mad, with lots of screaming and flailing, but at least MNers nearby could see I was enduring assault in the name of controlling my child!

YANBU. What gets me most is that they can parent how they like in their own private space but when those choices impact so badly on other people it just isn't fair to everyone else.
The parents are totally to blame in this situation and really should know better, whether the kids were finding the house boring or not.

Kveta - it may have felt like that for you, but eventually they will realize that you do mean what you say, and actually listen to you. Think of it as a long term investment.

Oh yes its annoying, but come one this berating others parenting all the time is getting old

We wouldn't have to berate if some parents did their job. I shall continue to moan until the country is full of perfect parents.

This really struck a chord with me as I'm sure that's how others see me with DS(3). I teach in a v challenging high school with no discipline issues at all but I am failing miserably to manage DS's behaviour, especially in public. There is no biting, kicking or anything but he is a bolter & it terrifies me. I've tried making everything into a stop/go game, time out, lots of praise for walking nicely etc but he will regularly just dart off. He ends on reins or under my arm most of the time. In the situation OP describes I'd have got hold of DS (after a ridiculous chase as he's so fast), given him a warning, he'd have probably done it again so I'd feel defeated & leave. I coach staff struggling with discipline at work but I am shit at this!! Any tips MOST welcome!!

I don't take my children into the houses when we go to National Trust places. We stay in the garden. It's much better all round.

Also, sadly - the teacher look doesn't work on your own children.

I do broadly agree, but I have bred a two year old who can run faster than me, and its embarrassing when he wriggles free and runs away with me running after. Thankfully I'm pretty fit so have better stamina than him so I catch him in the end, but I have had people comment that they've never seen a toddler before who is so clearly faster than an adult.

But, actually, I wouldn't dream of taking him into a NT house because I known he'd hate it and it would be my own fault when he started being a nightmare to control.

I HATE threads like this. You catch a snapshot of some kids behaving badly. Parents probably don't want to shout as they are a) in public and b) in a fairly enclosed area. So you feel this gives you the right to judge the parents as ineffective. Cue lots of posters tut-tutting and name calling.

Get over yourselves. Have a medal for being such a perfect parent.