AIBU to think that if you want Rupert and Emily to stop running you need to grab hold of them

[Morgause]

We have had a lovely day at a National Trust house. Lovely to see families out enjoying the sunshine and having picnics in the grounds. And lovely to see that most DC were behaving beautifully while still having fun.

Rupert and Emily were exceptions. We went inside the house and turned a corner to see Rupert charging through a room narrowly missing several people. The guide in the room told him he mustn't run. His dad said he had to do as he was told. Rupert shouts, "No!" and runs off pursued by Emily. Mum tells dad to stop them. Dad says she should stop them. They run back. Mum says in the most ineffectual voice I've ever heard, "Rupert and Emily you mustn't run, you could hurt yourselves." "Or someone else," remarked the guide.

Rupert and Emily run round mum in circles. Mum shouts at them to hold her hand, they won't. Dad says he'll take them out. Sadly, he doesn't.

Rupert and Emily run into the next room and crawl under the red rope sectioning off the "do not enter" area. The guide tells them to come out. They won't. Mum and dad arrive and tell them to come out. They won't. Dad steps over rope and grabs them. Sadly he lets them go again and they run off.

We decided to explore a different area of the house.

They were aged about 4 and 6. God help their teachers.

MrsKoala don't let the bitches get to you.

MrsJoe - Obviously made up. But the obvious question is why you would take 2 young children with ASD and other conditions, into a NT house, when you have had major surgery and so are physically limited? It sounds like setting yourself up to fail.

Morgause I am totally with you. I was saying I don't understand why people were saying they hate smug parenting threads on here as this thread clearly isn't smug parenting and making a very valid point. Apologies for not being clear, I shouldn't post before I have caffeine in me and when in a hurry!

It would be like taking my deaf (so talks loudly) racist FIL into a Caribbean restaurant with a large African Caribbean clientele. I just wouldn't do it, as I know it would be a nightmare.

Exactly Calmet.

You could have taken it in turns.1 adult and both kids in the garden then switched or even had 1 adult and 1 child go round with the other two in the garden and switched.

How do you know that would have been any better?

Sometimes kids have bad days, maybe some of you lot wouldn't have handled it terribly better.

And I don't think there is much wrong with taking children of that age around a house. For all any of you know they normally behave a lot better and were having a bad day.

I would also like to add that I regress to being both a Rupert and an Emily when my own mother takes forever to view a nt property.

Let's be honest - there are parents who let their kids run riot without a thought to other people. like Morgause it annoys me too when I make the effort to get mine to behave while others think theirs can do what they like and we'll all smile at their cute behaviour. Why is it unreasonable to be pissed off by bad manners? If all kids behaved badly in public all you reasonable people would soon get the hump.
I love posts like this because sometimes I think I'm the only one who cares and its nice to know others are as judgey as I am.

Seems a bit unfair on Ruperts and Emilys who ARE well behaved. I would be horrified if mine behaved like this. Threaten a punishment and follow through a couple of times and they tend to toe the line after, at least for a while and then you have to remind them again - but always threaten a reasonable punishment you are prepared to follow through.

How can you call it bad parenting when it was a small snapshot of their lives?! Really freaking mean tbh.

Because it was an example of bad parenting.

And if the parents were having a bad day or couldn't be arsed then a NT is not the place to go.

Why would you take young DC to a NT property when you could take them to an EH one life member of EH

Ohh, but I didn't. Last week DDs (3&5) had a fabulous time running around Pevensy Castle and Battle Abbey. Battle put on a 'squire school' where DD1 practiced sword moves and other tactics. I was used as an example of a nagging wife thanks DH and my medieval punishment was described much to DDs' and the other children's amusement.

There was a ?7 year old who joined in with the later activities, but wouldn't follow instructions and eventually the man taking the group had to ask him to stand to one side. His mother was sat near me and was in total despair/embarrassment. All I can say is if you are on here please stop feeling that way; he was quite charming and polite but was clearly one of those children with an excess of energy combined with the excitement of visiting somewhere new and probably from your comments to him about his listening skills a poor attention span for anything not personally interesting. That's a common affliction, believe me, I have one like that too.

Like me you are best sticking to the open areas of castles rather than the closed in rooms of stately homes . I have had to be shouty-mum to the DD2 who is a bolter, especially this spring as I've developed asthma and couldn't run after her without putting myself in serious need of medical help. As I was hoarse from the coughing I bet I sounded fabulous to all the other school mums, or when (after 2 warnings) I would hold DD2 round her wrist (soft grip - but inescapable past the wrist joint) and drag her back to the car. Judge all you like - I'm keeping my daughter alive which I consider good parenting.

Understood, Wynken

Everyone is a bad parent if you watch them long enough.

Every child has bad days, as does every parent. Whether I hoik on my judgey pants or not is how you deal with those bad days. If you expect other people to suffer your bad days with you, then you are both a bad parent and an inconsiderate arse.

I I haven't seen a hand dust before

Not a castle MrsJoe

So all this thread has taught me is to never risk taking my children to a NT property.

YABU to make this post, it hasn't helped in any way other than to inflate your own ego and to help you give yourself a pat on the back.

YANBU to have found the children irritating, I'd be lying if I said I had never found someone else's child annoying but I would never then go home and post a public rant about it- childish tbh.

You have no idea about that family, as many have already pointed out you can not make a judgement from a snap shot moment, or rather you can but it is very foolish to do so.

Yes I agree that some parents do not parent in an ideal manner, most in fact because parenting is very hard and whilst I would have handled the situation differently I wouldn't judge anyone for handling it that way, it isn't going to have a massively detrimental effect on your family. Let the NT workers and volunteers remind the parents and ask them to leave if need be, but if I was you, well I would have ignored it, moved on and then forgotten about it, I wouldn't have been so high and mighty as to ponder on it until I got home and then dashed on line for a bit of parent bashing which is essentially all you are doing and I can only assume to make yourself feel a bit better about yourself for some reason or another.

Yesterday my Ds was awful and if for a second I thought any of the people near by were going to react in the way that you have done I would have been mortified and to be frank quite annoyed with you for your narrow minded attitude.

Drinkintea my youngest might be 8, now, but he's still functioning as a 2-3 year old. Have yet to be awarded my rose tinted specs.

It was yesterday, MrsJoe, in a stately home. I have a high tolerance for "lively" children. I worked with them by choice for many years, so for me to notice it had to be bad. It was the ineffectualness of it all that got to me from both parents.

So all this thread has taught me is to never risk taking my children to a NT property.

Then you haven't read the thread, EnglishRose. Most people here understand that kids can kick off, and that parents can be knackered and exasperated and not wholly on top of things at times.

But if that happens to you, and you are happy to carry on regardless of how it is affecting others, without attempting to remove your kids from the house and take them somewhere more appropriate, then sure, it's probably better you don't take your kids to anywhere there are fragile objects and other people who want to look at those objects.

YADNBU and I don't understand all these 'smug' accusations. If children are running riot and their parents are letting them, despite the fact that it is disrupting other people's enjoyment and causing problems for staff (in this case the tour guide) then of course onlookers are going to judge.
Yes, sometimes no matter what you do the children will behave badly. At which point you take them out. You do not stand there mildly rebuking them and letting them annoy everyone else. That is what the parents are being 'judged' for, and rightly so in my opinion.

English I didn't "rush" home to post on Mumsnet - what a stupid thing to say. I was reading other threads while dinking a cup of coffee and another thread triggered a memory of the events I'd seen earlier.

Why on earth would posting on MN inflate my ego? I can't see how you get to that assumption. My ego is fine without assistance from strangers on a website. Weird that you would think otherwise.

As many pointed out the behaviour was unacceptable and the majority agree that IANBU in thinking that.

I'm childish as well?

Wow, how rude are you?