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Original poster

To have taken ds's prize off him for bad behaviour?

446 replies

Hangingwiththeraisingirls · 27/05/2014 18:27

Not sure if we were too harsh or not harsh enough!
Ds is 4, nearly 5, and we are away on holiday atm. We've been to a theme park today and there was a magic / entertainment show for the children.

The man started by saying he'd got a balloon animal to give at the end to the child he saw watching nicely and taking part the best. It was a lovely one, a big dinosaur made of quite a lot of balloons. Ds's eyes lit up and he sat all the way through, shouting out when told to, doing the actions etc.
The entertainer chose several children to take part. He teased these children, telling them they had stinky feet, were ugly, smelt like socks etc.
ds thought this hilarious.

At the end the entertainer chose ds for the balloon dinosaur. Ds leapt up on stage thrilled, had his picture taken and then unfortunately said to the entertainer 'you smell too, you smell like poo' he said it about twice before dh managed to get to him and tell him to stop it! Dh then gave the balloon back to the entertainer telling ds he had been too naughty for it and dragged off a wailing ds. He also has taken away half his holiday pocket money (£5) and told him he now won't be able to buy the dinosaur set he had his eye on.

I'm not sure if this was ott. Ds was rude but I think he was trying to play along and at 4 is unfortunately obsessed with poo.
Otoh ds needs to learn what's appropriate and what's not and both dh and I were mortified.

Were we unreasonable? It did spoil the day tbh.

OP posts:
VampyreofTimeandMemory · 27/05/2014 18:28

ott, i think.

Original poster
Hangingwiththeraisingirls · 27/05/2014 18:29

What should we have done?

Ds is so tall too, he easily looks 7. Hence any behaviour that might be more acceptable from a 4 year old looks bad because everyone assumes he's older.

OP posts:
stripeyred · 27/05/2014 18:29

Ott, he didn't do it randomly, he was copying the entertainer

JerseySpud · 27/05/2014 18:30

Way too harsh i think.

He is a 4 year old boy. They do tend to be obssesed with poo. and he was only playing along with what the magician said.

FunkyBoldRibena · 27/05/2014 18:30

Far too OTT - the entertainer was encouraging the poo talk and your son just joined in. He is 4 and on holiday!

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 27/05/2014 18:30

It sounds like your ds was just copying the entertainer. Must have been confusing for him to see someone was allowed to say silly things to him but he wasn't allowed to say it back. I think you overreacted tbh. Especially as he was punished at the time but then you have taken pocket money off him too.

thornrose · 27/05/2014 18:31

Way ott IMO. The entertainer got them all hyped up and your ds just got a bit carried away by the sounds of it!

JerseySpud · 27/05/2014 18:31

You don't pay attention to what other people think. So what he looks like he is 7. DD1 looks like she is 9 10 years old and shes 7.5. It doesn't matter what other people think or say. He is your son, you know how old he is.

I would have just got him off stage, reminded him that its not nice to say people smell like poo and enjoyed the rest of my holiday.

tumbletumble · 27/05/2014 18:31

I think OTT as well. He was just mimicking the entertainer. It's hard for him to understand that it's ok for an adult to say it but not him.

eosmum · 27/05/2014 18:32

Very ott. The adult told children they were smelly etc. and your ds does it back to him and loses his much wanted prize , that was horrible of you in my opinion.

tethersend · 27/05/2014 18:32

He was copying the entertainer!

I would have done nothing, save maybe a quiet chat about when things are funny jokes and when they aren't.

In your position now, I'd admit to him that I was too harsh and reinstate the money.

CrockedPot · 27/05/2014 18:33

How awful for him, he was only doing what the entertainer did, but I can also understand your embarrassment. I think I would have let him keep the balloon but nipped any more talk of poo quickly in the bud. It sounds like he was just excited and caught up in the moment.

Itsfab · 27/05/2014 18:34

Mean and over the top. You probably embarrassed the balloon man too.

hakunafrittata · 27/05/2014 18:36

Very very mean.

eosmum · 27/05/2014 18:36

And saying that you are worried about what other people because he is so big makes it worse. You care more about strangers thoughts than your own 4 year olds feelings.

hakunafrittata · 27/05/2014 18:39

I was thinking this was a reverse, but then I thought 'how would the entertainer know about the pocket money?'
I feel sad for the boy.

ComradePlexiglass · 27/05/2014 18:39

Oh, sorry you were upset but sounds way OTT to me. Sounds like ds was just super-excited and just trying to be funny like the entertainer, which obviously backfired a bit but honestly, all 4 year olds think poo is hilarious. I think not having the balloon dinosaur is quite a harsh punishment on its own, let alone also having his pocket money taken. When does your holiday end? Could you let him earn the dinosaur set back for good behaviour over the next day or so?

Hassled · 27/05/2014 18:40

Yup, sorry, too harsh. You can't get the balloon thing back but at least give him the cash. He does need to learn what's appropriate but he is only 4 - he has a long way to go and he wasn't acting with any malice.

justtoomessy · 27/05/2014 18:40

Jesus I'm a harsh parent but even I think thats OTT he had been teased by the entertainer and he just did it back. he did not randomly go up to stranger and say 'you smell of poo' he had been told he had stink socks by the entertainer and said similar back.

Your poor boy. Trust me if I saw parents do something like that I'd be judging the parents and not the boy! You've embarrassed yourselves not your 4 year old DS.

MammaTJ · 27/05/2014 18:40

You are being far too mean! He is 4, it doesn't matter a jot how old other people might think he is, you should be protecting him from that, not perpetuating it.

Give him back his money and his dinosaur.

He was only copying the entertainer, absolutely normal and acceptable behaviour.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 27/05/2014 18:41

Harsh ott and really not needed.

He was not being rude or naughty he was joining in with the entertainer.

Doing what you did would have been very confusing to DS and very cringeworthy for the entertainer and anybody else around.

Why did you need to do anything when he was taking his lead from the entertainer?

pigsDOfly · 27/05/2014 18:41

Agree with others, way too severe.

Poor little chap must have been totally confused. Here is this man telling the other kids they were ugly and smelly and everyone laughed and thought the man was hilarious.

However, when your 4 yo does it, he's naughty and gets punished pretty harshly.

He wasn't being rude, he was just trying to join in with what he thought was everybody's idea of a good laugh.

Berryglitter · 27/05/2014 18:41

Way to ott. He was just copying the entertainer. I actually think it's quite horrible, poor little boy.

StarGazeyPond · 27/05/2014 18:42

Dreadful thing to do to a 4 year old. He only used the same words as the entertainer FFS. Waaaaaaaay OTT Shock

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 27/05/2014 18:42

Wow. What a horrible overreaction.