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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you stuck at two DC..

147 replies

BolshierAyraStark · 23/05/2014 23:31

Just a general wonder really... Though am suddenly for some bizarre fucking reason thinking I should have had one more.

Please make me feel better & reassure me I was right to have just 2-I have one of each btw at 2&4, this odd feeling will pass...right?

Just for the record, I don't want to do pregnancy & the 1st 12 months so I know it will pass lol

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 23/05/2014 23:36

We stuck at two because when my youngest was one DH got injured and lost his job, then I got very ill, basically everything went wrong! Having a third was not even vaguely on our minds.

They are now 6.11 and 4.9, and I have been hideously broody recently

JuniperTisane · 23/05/2014 23:37

Practical reasons. 2 kids fits cars, hotel rooms, 3-bed semi, life I general. I struggle to keep my eye on two kids let alone a third. A third would mean everything becoming more complicated to deal with on a day to day basis.

Original poster
BolshierAyraStark · 23/05/2014 23:38

Sorry fuzz, didnt meant it to stir up bad feelings for anyone...

OP posts:
Forgettable · 23/05/2014 23:39

Two difficult deliveries - one needed rescus at birth, the other emcs, we decided to call it a day and be grateful that neither child died

Blunt but there you go!

MrsHoolie · 23/05/2014 23:39

I have one of each. After the first one was born I was so broody and knew I wanted another. When no 2 popped out my broodiness totally disappeared and that was that.
I'm 37 now and definitely know I don't want anymore although I wouldn't be sterilised as too final!

AgentZigzag · 23/05/2014 23:44

I'm too old We're too lazy We just don't have the space at this house or the energy to move.

Plus I'm never fucking wearing fucking maternity clothes ever again. Pregnant women are only supposed to have short legs apparently Hmm Half mast jeans should stay in the 70's.

JennySense · 23/05/2014 23:44

Had secondary infertility and needed clomid to conceive my youngest [my 4th pregnancy]. Would have loved 3 but wasn't possible.

RoaringTiger · 23/05/2014 23:44

I've only just been signed off Physio 3 years and 6 months after I started when pregnant, was warned that a third baby would probably push me past the stage of needing crutches and into needing a chair (started as pgp but ended up being a problem with my si joint in my hip or something). That coupled with the severe depression after the birth of my second is enough to put me off a third lol

gimcrack · 23/05/2014 23:48

I can't afford any more.

stillenacht1 · 23/05/2014 23:48

Second has severe autism. Couldn't face bringing another child into our messed up family. DS1 has had a very tough time dealing with it and DH and I are not strong enough to deal with a third. DS2 takes both of us to manage him! Would have loved a girl though...

fuzzpig · 23/05/2014 23:49

No not stirring up bad feelings at all Arya I waffle talk about this stuff all the time anyway :o

Things are much better now, I think that's why I am so broody again!

throwinshapes · 23/05/2014 23:50

Both age and economics for us.
Both girls but had youngest dd at 39.
Would've loved to have had one more, and always (used to) say heart says yes, the head, no.
They're 5 and 7 now. So another's kind of off the cards.
Grin

Salazar · 23/05/2014 23:52

I'll be sticking at two. Don't want to be outnumbered. Or give anybody middle child syndrome.

ithaka · 23/05/2014 23:54

I had one of each. Like you, would have liked to have gone for a third. Then our son died. Sorry, I know that isn't in the spirit of the thread but it is the reality.

In a miasma of grief and denial, we found we were having another. So we have 3, but 2 surviving. Anyway, I wanted another, after the weirdness of an unplanned pregnancy in the depth of bereavement, but DH could not take it - he literally could not bear it.

I respected my DH's feelings, but still felt broody. But as the years have past,I see how right he was. I am so so glad we did not have another child. We have created a fabulous family from the wreckage and as they get older have time to be a couple again.

You are surrounded by young kids now, but as the years go on you will appreciate all the reasons you did not have another. You have 2 healthy children, enjoy them and forget regrets.

lechers · 23/05/2014 23:55

We stuck at two because my DH is one of three, and he was absolutely adamant that he didn't want to have three children himself. We couldn't afford four, so stuck at two.

At the time, I did want three, but now I am very much glad that we did stick at two. Both my DDs have demanding social lives, and have time consuming hobbies. With two children we can allow both of them follow their dreams and do what they want to do, because when push comes to shove, one parent goes with one child in one direction, and the other parent follows the other. I know parents of three children (who do the same time consuming hobbies) are always having to think about the impacts it has on them as a family, and how they juggle the hobbies with the other children. It is much less of a concern for us, as we can always juggle things.

AgentZigzag · 23/05/2014 23:57

Flowers ithaka

Nocomet · 23/05/2014 23:58

Size of house, car, bank balance. Planets resources.
Amount of energy and tolerance of lack of sleep, babies and toddlers.
I much prefer bigger DCs.

Also I have two DDs who are incredibly different and totally complimentary. I couldn't imagine where another DC fits.

MrsWinnibago · 24/05/2014 00:00

Two c sections and feeling a tad too old and tired....36 when I had DD2 Otherwise I'd have liked 4...but you can't focus on these things. I'm glad I have my 2.

rhetorician · 24/05/2014 00:09

Age, partly. Resources, partly. Sperm donor had to be convinced for no. 2. Mostly and primarily

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 24/05/2014 00:09

I'm middle of three. No way would I have had 3 DC by choice.
(it would need to be 2 or 4 )

I have DS and DD. I've never yearned for another.

So glad now my DC2 is in Secondary, life is a bit easier Grin

BikeRunSki · 24/05/2014 00:13

What Juniper said, and hyperemisis.

JohnCusacksWife · 24/05/2014 00:13

Would definitely have tried for a 3rd if I'd been younger but had my first at 34 after years of fertility treatment, my second at 36 (a complete miracle). So sort of felt I'd be pushing my luck if I tried for a 3rd when I was nearing 40. I spent so many years thinking I'd have no children that I sort of thought I should qt while I was ahead! Would have loved a 3rd though. Go for it!

JohnCusacksWife · 24/05/2014 00:14

quit

BikeRunSki · 24/05/2014 00:15

Also age (dc2 was born 3 weeks before I was 41) and c sections. Emcs first time, uterine rupture followed by haemorrhage and crash section second time.

QuintessentiallyQS · 24/05/2014 00:17
  1. Money mostly.

3 children would have meant a much bigger car. 3 airplane tickets as opposed to 2 when we fly to visit family, difficulty finding hotel rooms for large family.

  1. Time.

I dont think I would cope with having to follow up the education of 3 children, and take them to their chosen activities and give them all equal quality tie.

  1. Health.
Bad spd with the second. I could not put my body through another pregnancy.

Note that my reasons 1 and 2 are no slight on people who have opted for more than 2, just that I dont think that WE would cope financially and in respect of quality time.