To ask why you stuck at two DC..

[BolshierAyraStark]

Just a general wonder really... Though am suddenly for some bizarre fucking reason thinking I should have had one more.

Please make me feel better & reassure me I was right to have just 2-I have one of each btw at 2&4, this odd feeling will pass...right?

Just for the record, I don't want to do pregnancy & the 1st 12 months so I know it will pass lol

Really Hogwash? Perhaps the thread about 3 is more for you-though it's failed to convince me I haven't done the right thing sticking with our decision tbh...

Ffs-stupid double post

1. Money. We are struggling at the moment and hopefully in a few years it will be better. I want to be able to treat our family to holidays etc. We also want to buy a house.

2. I haven't got a career and I want to go back to higher education. This wouldn't be possible with a third child.

3. I feel like I'm a crappy parent as it is. Another one would push me over the edge.

4. The most selfish one, I want my life and body back. No more morning sickness, no more piles, labours or breastfeeding.

5. Too much washing, cooking and tidying toys away at the moment.

I don't think anyone's criticising having more or less, just describing our own feelings.

I know a woman who has 6 girls. 6! I could never cope, but she loves it.

We're all different. The thread is about why people stopped at 2, it is definitely not a criticism of people who make other choices.

I have a 3yo and after tonight's tantrums am likely to stick at 1
Breathe
But worry I will regret it

DH says absolutely not to a third. I am finding accepting that very difficult, but we both have to want it, especially as we need IVF for us to conceive.

We plan to only have 2 (plan to start trying for DC2 soon so fingers crossed!). I'm one of 3 and it was generally fine, but I have no desire to do the first 8 months with a baby more than one final time. With 2 DC, we could do things like certain holidays that we could never afford with 3. Financially it would just be less stressful and frankly, I think I'm too lazy to try wrestling 3!

I'll probably have a wobble when (hopeful) future DC2 is
18 months or so, but I think head and heart know that 2 is right for us.

Because we believe that more than two is selfish.
One to replace each of us in life; seems fair.

I always wanted 4, ( not 3, I'm a middle child and hated it growing up) but quickly realised that I could only afford decent shoes for 2 and probably only help 2 through uni. :)

Lara, what was it like being the middle child? My sister seemed to hate it but we don't talk about it :-(

We have one of each, six years apart. Property prices in my city are among the highest in the world and childcare in my area is the equivalent of £60 a day - within 5 miles of the CBD area it's £90. Our son has special needs too due to a severe speech disorder and therapy costs £76 an hour. I've been feeling broody too but practically we can't afford it. Luckily we own outright but would have to buy a bigger place if we had more children.

Our reasons are:

Practical - like to have one parent/one child ratio
Environmental - the planet didn't need us to have any more children
Financial - we can afford holidays, two cars etc which we couldn't if we stretched ourselves with more children
Emotional - the DSes (5 and 7yo) are extremely close, more like twins really, and I would worry that a third DC would be left out

All of these wouldn't stop me if I felt the slightest bit broody. But since having DS2 I haven't. At all. I am very content with my lot and feel very relieved that I never have to go through pregnancy, childbirth or sleep deprivation again :)

1.) Age (of us both)
2.) Money
3.) Space

I am sad, but accepting.

To be very clear, I adore my DC & I'm 100% certain we made the right decision, I just hav this odd niggling-that will pass & was looking for confirmation of this-thank you lovely MN ladies though I am very sorry for those of you that I have stirred up bad feelings

Have 2 DC who are 2&4. Sticking at 2 for lots of reasons- DH was middle one of three and didn't like the dynamic ( but I also know many people who loved being 1 of 3 so that's personal). However , my two get on really well and having another child might well change that for the worse or the youngest might just get left out as there's be a bigger gap. We only have a finite amount of cash and if I'm honest I'd rather have more holidays and other fun stuff than another child. We're expats so will need to pay for education, so adding in another child would be a significant cost. Lastly, I'm not really a baby person and I feel we 're now getting to a stage where life is fun again and I'm really enjoying the DC rather than feeling I'm just getting through the days.

Also I forgot to say I want to be able to focus on my relationship with DH a bit more as time goes on, not be consumed by babies and tiny DC forever.

I only thought I wanted two, but I had medical problems (diabetes with complications) which meant I was strongly, strongly advised not to have any more anyway. I have one of each and that feels complete. The eye watering nursery fees kind of make me glad we're not having any more.

I'd love a 3rd
I'm only 31 so time on my side
Easy pregnancies
Easy births
Just not sure we can afford it. It would be longer working part time and paying childcare and we don't own a house/have a deposit.....

Is that enough of a reason not to bring a whole new person into our family?

And we even rent a 4 bed house and have a 7 seater car so that's covered!

DH and I did want a try for a third in the honeymoon period after having DD2. However, DD2 didn't sleep through the night until almost 2 years old. Could never, ever, go through that again. Neither of us felt broody ever again