to think she could have waited until GCSEs are over before dumping him?

[MumofSobbingTeenager]

So I have an inconsolable, sobbing DS on my hands after his g/f of 14 months has dumped him totally out of the blue, in the middle of their GCSEs, for no specific reason - that she'll tell him anyway. She has apparently decided that she's not ready for a relationship.

FFS. AIBU to think she could have waited just another 2 weeks until the exams are over?

Erm.....no. If she felt she had to end the relationship, it is not reasonable to expect a 16 yr old to have the maturity to consider the impact on his exams.

YANBU :( Your poor DS. Does he have anything tomorrow?

How harsh a reply do you want?

Oops! Think of it this way, it won't happen when he is half way through his A levels. I have had a wet bundle of student in my office this afternoon. The love of his life dumped him after their Biology exam this morning. Apparently she waited as long as she could but just couldn't 'live a lie anymore' . They can be so melodramatic at that age!

And he had bought tickets to the summer ball as well!!!

I hope your DS wakes up with a more 'sod you' attitude. Good luck with the fall out.

Sorry, no I don't think so.
She's not mature enough. Maybe she's had a mad panic about her own exam results and is trying not to be distracted.

Aww, poor DS. Poor you too!

Yes, one tomorrow and two on Friday. Thank goodness it's then half term.

Poor DS but YABTU I'm afraid - she's 15/16 and probably like most teenagers is focused on her own world at that age.

Erm.....no. If she felt she had to end the relationship, it is not reasonable to expect a 16 yr old to have the maturity to consider the impact on his exams

Of course it is. I was in a serious relationship at that age and would have known that was a bad idea.

Well I would have thought that she should bloody well be able to understand the impact it would have. Are we really saying that 15/16yr old are not expected to be capable of empathy in anyway.?
Is she doing exams as well?
All I can say in her defence is that perhaps the wait would have negatively impacted on her exams?

I'm sorry for your son, but she doesn't have the emotional maturity to think of his GCSEs, and maybe it would have been stressful for her, to carry on as if everything was normal when she didn't want to be with him anymore.

If it was DS who was unhappy trapped in a relationship and sobbing about that? Would you say "wait so this other person feels OK and can focus on their exams?"

She doesn't exist to facilitate him. Its a tough, nasty lesson to learn ... But you would be unreasonable to expect her to put herself so far back as to stay in a relationship with a young man just to please him during his exams.

DD was hit by a car in November, dumped by her 1st love in January, and 6 weeks ago, her friend group all turned against her with bullying and exclusions. The little trojan is getting on with her exams. your ds will be ok.

Your poor son. It's English Language tomorrow I think. Bless him .

Oh your poor Ds

Dh was dumped by his then gf 2 weeks before his A levels - he totally aced them (just to spite her I think!) Hope your Ds can gather himself to get through the rest of this week.

Back when I was doing my O levels, there was a general assumption that to simply don't dump someone mid exams (in indeed in the close run up).

Are teens these days really less mature? And unable to act with compassion for the few weeks it takes to get the exam season over with?

Oh bless been there with my dss and dds.

They may well be back together/have a new person by the end of the week.

Just be there, support, it will blow over but it's hard.

crazynanna oh bloody hell that's grim for you all.

Hope your dd gets there. Xxx

Yeah. Maybe we should all learn to wait until its convenient to break up with men. For them.

That isn't emotional maturity; that's pretty dodgy to be expecting of young women.

I work with teens and the idea that she should have made herself feel worse for the sake of his exams raises big alarm bells for me.

I feel sorry for your son but maybe his girlfriend didn't need the stress of continuing a relationship that for whatever reason wasn't working during her exams. Or maybe she felt that even though the timing was unfortunate, it was better to be honest and not lead him on. He would have been suspicious anyway if she didn't see him for the duration of the exams and if she did she would have had to act affectionate and as if everything was OK, which would be very uncomfortable if she no longer feels that way.

I would probably feel the same but what if the relationship and the fact she wasn't enjoying it was having an effect on her exams? Probably better that she didn't string him along.

Squizita I think I would actually. They had barely planned to see each other anyway because of revision.

Thanks crazynana. I expect he will be OK. I don't think I've seen him cry for at least 5 years. It's a shock!

I remember looking round during my O Levels and thinking I was glad I didn't have a boyfriend (I was still at the parties with lights off snogging stage then)
By the time I was doing my A Levels I was dating and also had the emotional resilience to cope with break ups and teenage drama.
I'm encouraging my teenage dcs to do the same.
[flower] and [cuppa] to you both though.

Ffs

FGS Squizita this isn't a feminist debate, I don't see that it would be any different the other way around!