to think she could have waited until GCSEs are over before dumping him?

[MumofSobbingTeenager]

So I have an inconsolable, sobbing DS on my hands after his g/f of 14 months has dumped him totally out of the blue, in the middle of their GCSEs, for no specific reason - that she'll tell him anyway. She has apparently decided that she's not ready for a relationship.

FFS. AIBU to think she could have waited just another 2 weeks until the exams are over?

She could have told him her parents are making her stay home to study and aren't allowing her to see him until the exsms are over

I can't abide liars and I will not lie nor encourage my DD to lie.

Does anyone not remember how stressful it is to build up the strength to end a relationship? I do. If she's felt as I did, she'd feel like a weight has been lifted and can finally concentrate on HER exams.

The OP has said this is out of character for her, that says to me that she must have been feeling the strain more than many have given her credit for, not that she's a nasty thoughtless person as a rule.

She lives 24 miles away, she could have waited 48 hours and given him a few days to recover, instead of doing it before 2 big days of exams.

We all lie all the time, the trick is teaching our children how to be kind. I know if my friend is wearing something new that she loves and feels great it, i will compliment it, even if i think it is the wrong colour and a weird length yes, BF, looking at you and your new skirt. I do things like this as i want my friends and loved ones to be happy.

Have to say I'm with those who say the girl shouldn't have had to wait if she didn't feel up to it, even though it might have been kinder.

My DM told me it would be too unkind for me to leave a boyfriend once because he was ill. Whatever he had was some kind of ME/no obvious cure thing (he's fine now btw but they never did work out what it was) so no obvious end time for me either so limped on another 6 months or so - it was really horrible and screwed me up for years - I used to get drunk so that I could still manage to have sex with him and try not to feel/remember it: led to several years then of drunken one night stands and terrible self esteem. I was unable to have another relationship for several years too. I completely understand too how this kind of message in ones teens could lead to not being able later to leave an abusive relationship.

I really wish she had not pressured/guilt-tripped me into it. While I would encourage my children to be kind, there is a line.

I agree that ideally she could have waitied a couple of weeks but we don't know how long she'd been unhappy in the relationship for, what sort of discussions they'd been having, whether or not she'd met someone else.
At that age once I had decided I no longer fancied someone then I wanted out. I hate pretending and think your feelings are more intense at that age. Exam preperation and exam time can seem to go on for ages. It's like staying in a relationship over xmas when it's only November and you want out.
They may not have been seeing each other but was he phoning her and trying to get her to commit to plans over the summer or talking about the future?
I don't think a reason ever helps when a relationship ends. The main reason is nearly always "I don't fancy you/ love you the way I did before" unless there have been long discussions before about one person wanting things to change and the other ignoring them.

I would say it's more like staying in a relationship over Christmas when it's Christmas Eve and you break up on Boxing day. Giving him a couple of days and doing it when he has half term rather than exams is the kinder option.

ChoosandChips, waiting a couple of days is hardly the same as waiting for an uncertain period for someone to get over a lengthy illness.

Hope your DS does well on his exams, OP. I have a ds, and a ds on the way, some of the attitudes on here to teenage boys has made me There's an 18 month age gap between me and my brother and I still remember to this day him being dumped by his girlfriend at 16, sobbing on my shoulder and everything he was. I still remember how utterly heartbroken he was, it really got to me!

Icimoi yes I know different, but it's about what happens the next time/message it gives deep down. And it sounds like perhaps she had already tried to wait it out, if it was out of character.

I have just read all 5 pages of this thread. I have a nearly 15 year old DS. I really don't know what to say. Other than I don't think I will be asking for any advice any time soon regarding his relationships.

Hope you and your DS are ok Mum.

I would advise my 16 year old daughter in the same situation to wait until after GCSEs are over, it wouldn't hurt, it's kinder, I have always brought my children to treat others the way they would wish to be treated. Unless there's something OP doesn't know about and girlfriend wants to be particularly hurtful for reasons known to her? Of course a 16 year old girl is emotionally mature enough to know and timing is important, he's taking exams which will affect the rest of his life. Best option could have been making excuses not to see him until exams finished and then finish relationship. Hope your son's feeling better OP.

It would have been a few weeks!
Unless he's been an unfaithful/abusive boyfriend in the past I can't quite see how waiting til this already emotionally stressful time is over was going to harm her!
It is, in my opinion, unnecessary to be quite so thoughtless.
She could have made all the usual excuses and seen very little of him.
I completely agree with pineapple

You'd need to know the details of the lead up to say she was unreasonable. Maybe she had been playing it cool and not phoning him and hoping he'd take the hint or not notice but he kept pressurising her and phoning her and asking her what was wrong and she couldn't face 2 more weeks of it.
If he hadn't phoned or texted her and this came out of the blue then I agree she could have waited, but the OP said it was 2 weeks, not 2 days.