The prefects were very disappointed when they heard the staff would be unable to attend their usual Saturday night entertainment. "But we've loads of fun stuff planned" wailed Tom Gay, "a great new paper game and a hoot of a thing where everyone has to roll on the floor..."
"Yes, well, it can't be helped" said Miss Annersley firmly "we all have to go to a... a.... " she searched her brain frantically, "yes, a meeting. A meeting at the Maynards. Saturday was the only night both Joey and Jack were free. Now Matron's here if there's any problems. Enjoy yourselves".
The staff headed gratefully for the front door. "We're not really going to the Maynard's, are we?" asked one of the younger teachers anxiously.
"Is it daft you are"? responded Biddy O'Ryan "Sure don't we spend most of our time trying to avoid that woman?"
"Keep your voices down" warned Miss Annersly "we have to pass their house to get to the pub. And you know how nosy she is. We don't want her rushing out to see what's going on and insisting on us coming in for English tea".
They did her bidding and arrived at the pub safely. "Oh thank God" said Miss Wilmot taking a long slug of beer "I don't think I could have taken another Saturday night playing those stupid games".
"Don't the older students get a bit bored of it?" asked one of the newer mistresses curiously. "When I was at school we spent most of our Saturday nights sneaking out of windows to meet our boyfriends or go to dances."
"Oh I know" sighed Miss Annersley, "But they're the most retarded lot. I've even left bloody ladders propped outside the dormitory windows, but no takers".
"It is odd" said Kathy Ferrars "I mean look around this pub. There's a group of girls from St Trinian's over there in skirts up to their arses, and a crowd of St Skolastika kids in the corner trying to look old enough to be served. And where are the Chalet Girls???"
"Rolling around the floor playing paper games" said someone, and they all snickered like mad.
"We shouldn't laugh really" continued Miss Annersley, "I thought Joan Baker might have shaken things up a bit, but Joey and Mary Lou seem to have got at her, and now she's just a shadow of her former self. In fact I blame Joey for most of it. It seems to be a kind of control thing with her, keeping everyone in a stupid time warp and behaving like eternal twelve year olds.
"And then of course they marry the first man who looks at them after they leave. Totally unsuitable types often, and the girls themselves are no more ready for married life. In fact, some of the stories I've heard about those ridiculous, hasty marriages would turn your hair white. Oh sorry Bill".
"Haven't you ever tried to stop her influence"? the new mistress asked curiously.
"Oh dozens of times" Miss Annersley assured her "we've moved the school around the continent, we've got rid of Joey to Canada for a couple of terms, we've encouraged her ridiculous childbirth competitiveness to try and keep her occupied, but absolutely nothing works...."
"Anyway" said Bill, I thought we came out tonight to get away from school. Let's talk about something else."
And so they discussed their various romances, whether the rumours about Rock Hudson being gay could possibly be true, what they'd do if they won the sweeps, and had a laugh with some men at the bar who were obviously very taken with some of the younger mistresses (unsurprisingly given the higher than average level of gorgeousness amongst the SC staff), but as the night wore on their minds drifted back to the pupils and they discussed which girl had the most punchable face (Mary Lou) which girl they'd push out of a balloon to stop it dropping (Mary Lou) and which girl you could probably murder and claim mitigating circumstances (that would be Mary Lou again).
"Anyway" said Miss Annersly eventually "I suppose we'd better be making moves. Where's Biddy gone?"
"Oh a few of them went to a dance in the hotel with those chaps at the bar" remembered Kathie. "They said to leave the kitchen door open for them to get in".
"Alright" said Miss Annersley "but some of had better get back. We've left Matey there all on her own".
"Didn't she want to come with us"? asked someone.
"Well I invited her" replied Miss Annersley "but she doesn't drink and said she prefer to stay behind. Said a nice mug of warm milk is her drug of choice".
"Oh matey, she is a hoot" said Bill, and they all simply howled with laughter.