AIBU to expect food to be provided for my child when friends invite him out for the day?

[ScarlettDarling]

Ds just returned from a day out with his best friend and family for a walk and picnic in woods. They picked him up this morn and i sent him off with a rucksack with his wellies etc in,and gave the mother a 10note to buy the kids ice creams . She's just returned him now saying 'its just as well u sent that tenner ...u forgot to pack his packed lunch! We used the tenner to buy him some chips from the van!' Now, when they invited him for a picnic AIBU to expect they would provide the picnic for Ds, not just themselves?! I've fed their son hundreds of times! Can't believe they couldn't spare him a sarnie ! And they didn't buy any ice creams with the tenner, just the chips, and i didn't get any change! Not that i would ever have expected change, but really, AIBU??

YANBU and I'd ask for the change!

Could you be tempted to invite them (parents round for dinner)? Then when you're tuking into your steak and wine look up puzzled and say "What are you having?"

Yes, I think it's very different to invite someone on a picnic and say "Bring a packed lunch" but tbh I'd tend to do that if it was a whole other family. One other child is almost no extra effort to cater for.

If you invite a child on a picnic, you provide the picnic.

YANBU

I think it's completely reasonable to assume when being invited for a picnic that food will be provided. That's like inviting someone to dinner and then expressing surprise that they didn't bring their own food, no?

Do you know for sure that they didn't buy ice creams with the rest of the tenner, though?

How long have you known them and have they behaved like this before?

I'd go round or ring up and say you don't understand why there's no change from a tenner if they just bought your son some chips. And explain that you understood that they'd be providing picnic food, hence the mix-up.

And then TBH I'd mentally cross them off the friends list, although it seems a pity if their son is your son's best friend.

What a bunch of weirdos.

YANBU - it sounds very mean of them.
I'd be tempted to text her and ask if there was any change from the chips.

I would have checked personally but yanbu!!

Bet the Thieving buggers all had chips

I just don't understand the mentality. How much more money and effort would it have cost them to chuck an extra sandwich, apple and biscuit in the basket?

Mean, mean, mean.

I can't believe this. Awful people. You take somebody else's kid out then you feed them.

To tell the truth, it really never occurred to me to ask should he bring his own lunch-they invited him on a picnic, i assumed that meant they'd provide it. Surely its no different to when you invite a child to tea...you don't expect them to bring their own?!
Definitely no ice creams bought, that was the first thing i asked Ds when he got in! He has had a fab day and is tired and happy....but v v hungry! Just polished off a huge tea, then strawberries, grapes and satsuma...now started on cheese and crackers and hungrily eyeing his Easter eggs! Im flabbergasted! Got their son for a sleepover on Fri night...he'd better bring his own supper! Glad you all agree.

Wow that is just mean, lesson learned op they are not nice people, what would have happened if you hadn't sent the tenner, would they have let him starve ?

It is all very well people sayin they would have checked if their dc needed a packed lunch, but this was a picnic he was invited to ffs!? Why invite a child to a picnic then expect them to bring their own food? Has the world gone barking mad? I would honestly ask for the change- annoy believe te audacity of some folk.

*cannot believe

I know this is AIBU but is this really something people would ditch their DCs' friend over in RL?

There was a misunderstanding. The OP's child was fed, albeit in a slightly bizarre fashion. The OP didn't originally expect change from a tenner but is now annoyed because of the mix-up. No one went hungry. Where's the big deal?

If I had been the adult in charge I would have packed a picnic for the guest. If for some reason I thought they were bringing their own I would have said nothing, given them mine and got chips for me (:o) as though that had been the plan all along. If I'd had to use the OP's £10 I would have replaced it.

I think it's all in how it's worded
"We're going on a picnic, would X like to come along" could possibly indicate X brings his own, but would still be mean IMO.
Inviting X on a picnic, is, as you say OP, like inviting him for tea.

Bizarre. I wouldn't want a guest at a picnic bringing his/her food (a) because a guest is a guest and (b) the guest's food might show me up.

I think you should say "thank goodness you've raised the issue of feeding the kids - it's great that you're going to be sending them with a pack up from now on, it will save me so much effort and money!"

Other family are rude and barking BTW

Communication is always the key to avoid these kind of things.
Whatever my child is invited to, I always ask, 'is there anything he should bring' because people DO have different expectations. Some expect a packed lunch to be brought on a picnic, others expect to provide it for him. Some expect to pay for the days entertainment, others expect me to fund it.
Always ask and it is less easy to Fi d yourself in these situations.

The chips thing is odd, and I would have fed your child, but I can understand that some people might expect him to bring his own food. Always ask.

i would expect them to provide food, like you did. wow.

I think it's really mean to invite your DS to a picnic and not provide food. If you hadn't had provided him with a tenner would he had starved?

And yes, chips don't cost a £10, so where's the rest?

This would have me raging. Not the lunch thing, that could be an oversight, but taking the tenner, no change and no ice creams?

Cheeky Gits.

I had this once, I was invited along to an evening open air concert with my friend's family. They took a posh picnic with 4 of everything for them and nothing for me. Stingy bastards.

Odd that they didn't have enough picnic to stretch to feed another child in any case. I always take masses of stuff & usually bring some home uneaten. They sound peculiar and not very nice .

If this had been a misunderstanding, I'd've dropped him back with a "aargh, sorry, we thought he was going to being lunch so we all shared and got some chips as well as the icecreams, hope you don't mind and sorry about the mix up"

Did they tell you pack him a lunch? What would have happened if you didn't give them money? Would he have been left to starve?

I would say cut contact with them and not bring their kid anywhere or let him go with them, but it's not really fair to the boys that are friends. Next time give him the money, say it's his and if he has change he can buy a toy later (I can promise he won't be sharing). It's kind of ridiculous that you have to teach kids not to share in some instances.