Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To Have Horrified By This And Refused To Get In Car?

210 replies

GoldenGytha · 02/05/2014 19:17

I was out for lunch today with a friend, her niece and niece's two boys aged 4 and 1.

It was about a 20 minute drive along the dual carriageway to the place we went to for lunch, but after that friend's niece wanted to go to Matalan for some clothes for a forthcoming holiday.

When we got back into the car after lunch, Matalan was about a 5 minute drive back along the dual carriageway and niece told the 4 year old to just sit in his seat and not bother about his seatbelt as it was "only a couple of minutes along the road" She also didn't strap the baby into his seat.

I said "You can't do that, you must strap them both in, it's not safe" I was rather abruptly told that it was not my business, they'd be fine for all the distance they were going. I said I couldn't get in a car where a child wasn't safely strapped in, and that I was very uncomfortable with it.

After a lot of muttering and "FFS Golden, what a fuss to make about nothing, are you always this bad, and if it makes you fucking happy I'll strap them in"

I don't normally go about telling folk what to do with their kids, but this really shocked me, WIBU to have said something?

OP posts:
TucsonGirl · 02/05/2014 19:20

You're just as likely to get in an accident during a drive of a few minutes as you are for a few hours drive. Ask her how she would feel if one of her children was severely injured/paralysed/killed as a result of them not being strapped in. Then either watch her strap them in, or let her drive off without you and then call the police.

3littlefrogs · 02/05/2014 19:20

You are right. It only takes a second for an accident to happen.
Sadly, some people are very stupid.

ChoudeBruxelles · 02/05/2014 19:24

You were right. Tell her to sit in the passenger seat of a car without a seat belt and someone driving at 10mph who will randomly slam their brakes on and then see what she thinks after she has a whacking great bruise on her head from hitting it on the dash

EverythingsDozy · 02/05/2014 19:24

It is the drivers responsibility to ensure all passengers under 13 (I think) are strapped in correctly. And it doesn't matter how good a driver someone is, it's how good everyone else is!! I find driving one of the most trusting things you can do because you're putting your trust in the driving public assuming they can all drive without being a twat. It wouldn't have taken much, just one idiot driver, to have knocked into the car!

Original poster
GoldenGytha · 02/05/2014 19:25

She did belt them in after I'd said, but it was more of a "To keep you happy" rather than any great concern about her children's safety,

I think if it happens again, and she refuses then I will call the police,

Friend or no friend, I don't think you should take chances with children's safety.

OP posts:
DuckyMoDuckyMoMo · 02/05/2014 19:26

I would of done the same, or strapped them in myself as I was getting in

Juliaparker25 · 02/05/2014 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

icanneverremember · 02/05/2014 19:26

YADNBU even a small accident on a "slow" road could cause serious injury to a person not strapped in. I can't believe people would even consider it these days.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 02/05/2014 19:28

Julia Hmm

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 02/05/2014 19:28

My sister totalled her car (actually it was my parents' car - they were not happy) literally down the road from their house. It wasn't her fault, it was actually the fault of the other driver, but didn't make the car any less totalled. Luckily nobody was seriously injured, but then she and my other (very young) sister were in seatbelts. Your friend has to take into account not just HER driving, but the driving of everyone else on the road.

ThatBloodyWoman · 02/05/2014 19:28

I think you were right.

It was a public road and their safety was compromised.

Original poster
GoldenGytha · 02/05/2014 19:29

I couldn't believe she didn't want to take a minute to make sure her DC were safely belted in.

She made sure she put her own seatbelt on, why would you not do the same for your DC?

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 02/05/2014 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
GoldenGytha · 02/05/2014 19:31

Just noticed your comment Julia,

Is there any need to be rude?

I actually never interfere with how other people bring up their DC, but this was a serious safety issue.

OP posts:
SsimTee · 02/05/2014 19:32

I take it Juliaparker 25 doesn't see the need to strap children into their seats either

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 02/05/2014 19:33

Julia dont be one of those...

OP you were right if only for the fact that it meant they got their belts on because of your actions. Well done you. And maybe she'll think twice everytine she goes to leave them unstrapped again.

TereseaGreen · 02/05/2014 19:34

Don't worry Golden Woolworths doesn't exist on the high street any more so I cant see an awful lot of people buying it.

Oh, and YANBU. At all.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 02/05/2014 19:35

There are some right weirdos on MN this week, Juliaparker25 clearly being one of them.

OP, you WNBU and I'm very glad you spoke up rather than let it slide for the sake of not making a fuss.

cardamomginger · 02/05/2014 19:35

100% correct.

I refuse to travel if an adult isn't wearing a seat belt. When they inevitably start whittering on about their right not to Hmm, I stress that I'm not thinking about them, I am concerned about me. If they are sitting directly behind me, I point out that if we crash the impact of them hitting the back of my seat will likely kill me (saw one of those seatbelt awareness videos about this once - horrifying). If they are sitting elsewhere in the car, I point out that I am unwilling to risk PTSD by witnessing them flying through the windscreen and dying in a pool of gore before my eyes. Just not happening.

Bogeyface · 02/05/2014 19:35

I have never understood this. I had to drive from where I was parked into a garage once without my seat belt on (it had broken, thats why I was there) and it felt like I hadnt got any clothes on!

Its not even something I think about, everyone in, seat belts on, check them, drive away. I did once threaten to leave my friend standing by the road when she refused to put hers on once. She had had a few and decided that she couldnt be arsed (I know!), so I said I wasnt going anywhere and she said she didnt care we could sit there all night. I said fine, get out then because I am leaving. She put her belt on Hmm

birdsnotbees · 02/05/2014 19:36

Julia, you're being funny, right? As in, no one in their right minds would seriously think it's OK not to strap kids in?

OP you were absolutely right. Most accidents happen close to home; inconsequential ones become serious when people are idiotic enough not to wear seatbelts. Why would anyone take that risk?

Dwerf · 02/05/2014 19:37

Absolutely in the right. I wouldn't let anyone start the car if my kids weren't strapped in. To the point of keeping my door open until I hear the clunks (because taxi drivers can be beggars for this, but even they won't set off with a door open)

Julia, is your book on the shelf next to the one entitled 'A life, and how not to lose it'?

Bogeyface · 02/05/2014 19:37

I have to say though that being an accident soon changes the attitudes of people like this. The friend I mentioned above became manic about seat belts when she had never been arsed before (including with the kids) when she was rear ended so badly it wrote the car off. She did say that she got cold sweats thinking about what might have happened if she hadnt bothered with a belt.

nennypops · 02/05/2014 19:38

I take it Julia would have left the children unstrapped. I hope she would feel good about that if an accident happened in which the strapped in adults were safe whilst the children went through the windscreen.

AdoraBell · 02/05/2014 19:39

Many years ago I read a news paper report where a child died after the parent stopped abruptly. The car was moving at 5MPH at the time.

YWNBU OP and your friend has been lucky so far. I wouldn't want To be in her car when that luck runs out. Could it be she was agresive because you were not the first person To pull her up on it?