To Have Horrified By This And Refused To Get In Car?

[GoldenGytha]

I was out for lunch today with a friend, her niece and niece's two boys aged 4 and 1.

It was about a 20 minute drive along the dual carriageway to the place we went to for lunch, but after that friend's niece wanted to go to Matalan for some clothes for a forthcoming holiday.

When we got back into the car after lunch, Matalan was about a 5 minute drive back along the dual carriageway and niece told the 4 year old to just sit in his seat and not bother about his seatbelt as it was "only a couple of minutes along the road" She also didn't strap the baby into his seat.

I said "You can't do that, you must strap them both in, it's not safe" I was rather abruptly told that it was not my business, they'd be fine for all the distance they were going. I said I couldn't get in a car where a child wasn't safely strapped in, and that I was very uncomfortable with it.

After a lot of muttering and "FFS Golden, what a fuss to make about nothing, are you always this bad, and if it makes you fucking happy I'll strap them in"

I don't normally go about telling folk what to do with their kids, but this really shocked me, WIBU to have said something?

[mateysmum]

You are so right OP. To not restrain the children was not only stupid, it's illegal. I seem to remember a statistic that says most fatal accidents occur within 3 miles of home. On a dual carriageway, the speeds could have been 60mph. Those kids wouldn't stand a chance in an accident.

Well Done!

[WitchWay]

The seatbelt law came in the month after I passed my driving test. My father always had seat belts fitted front & back in all the cars we ever had, so I'd already been used to wearing one. Crazy not to IMO & totally unacceptable not to make sure children are as safe as possible.

[bonzo77]

OP YANBU. I had a stand up row with my FIL and ten removed myself and my child from our family car because he refused to put his seatbelt on. DH was driving, MIL next to him, DS, me and FIL in the back. I actually had to climb out over DS's baby seat. Told FIL at least that way he'd only kill his own son, and leave his GC fatherless, rather than killing me and DS. He grudgingly put the belt on.

[sashh]

Is it wrong I want to know what Julia posted?


Back to the OP and the sensible comments.

About a month ago I was stationary, difficult to explain the road but imagine a cross roads, there was traffic crossing in front of me and cars on the opposite side waiting to turn left.

My hand slipped (hand controls) and my car is automatic so started to 'creep' - very slow and I got my hand back on the break PDQ.

But I hit a car passing across, the car I hit was going faster and spun 360 degrees, took the front end off the car waiting to turn left and came to rest in a fence.

All three cars are right offs. All three of us got out without a bruise between us.

[FryOneFatManic]

peggy if an adult not wearing a seatbelt only risked their own life, then I'd let them take that risk.

BUT, a person in a car not wearing a seatbelt is risking the life of any other passengers/driver in the car, simply because they are unrestrained and therefore their bodies can kill others in the car.

I will not allow anyone to drive my children unless all people in the car wear seatbelts. I will not drive a car unless all passengers wear seatbelts, etc.

An unrestrained passenger or driver is not just risking their own life.

[KatieKaye]

Oh peggy - the law stating all occupants in a car is not about safety? Really? What is it about then?
What about the law stating people on motor cycles must wear helmets - I suppose that isn't about safety either in your eyes?

I really am curious to know why you have such a bee in your bonnet about seatbelts when you know that they save lives?

[ThatBloodyWoman]

Oh Errol that's good to hear and has put my mind a bit more at rest -I use buses a lot,often with my dc's.

[ErrolTheDragon]

As I said previously the policy doesn't make sense when not all traffic is covered by this law, if it was about safety all transport would be covered but it's not

Of course it's about safety, WTF else could it be about?
I'd be happier on public transport if there were seatbelts, but...

The forces involved with larger vehicles are rather different - far fewer people are killed and injured in them even without belts.

A double decker ts won't decelerate as fast in most accidents as a car would - it's the deceleration that's crucial, and how much energy the physical structure of the vehicle can absorb. Trains even moreso don't come to a sudden standstill. Whereas a car crashing into a larger car going the other way can stop and rebound.

[PigletJohn]

"Peggy

The "smoking ban" as you call it does not ban people from smoking.

It does however restrict their right to impose their vile habit on other people. Do you think that is wrong?"

[peggyundercrackers]

Pigletjohn no I don't agree with the smoking ban, my parents and all the family smoked but neither me nor my brother do, I hate it however I would fight for their right to allow them to do what they want to.

Bunbaker I quite liked my school uniform and wore it every anyway I was at schools, I always wear my seat belt in my normal car because it is the law but in my other car I don't wear one and haven't for 20yrs or so because they are not fitted.

Katiekay I don't think it's right there is legislation to force people to wear seat belts, it should be their right. As I said previously the policy doesn't make sense when not all traffic is covered by this law, if it was about safety all transport would be covered but it's not.

[FixItUpChappie]

Just wanted to add - good for you OP. the world needs more people who speak up for children's safety and stand up for what they think is right.

you were spot on

[Edendance]

Good for you OP. I just CANNOT understand how people jusitfy things like seatbelts for their children. Helmets on bikes is another one...

[Ohbyethen]

I just don't understand.
I lost a child, it's unbearable still 10 years later, like my heart stopped beating that day. It was cancer but I still felt guilty, what if we'd done x instead of y, what if, what if?
On another thread there's a poster who is taking chances with her children's health because she hasn't dropped dead or got fat on a terrible diet, here seatbelts are a nanny state human rights issue?

If I was responsible for the death of my child I couldn't survive it. Having your mind changed when you're having to have a closed tiny white coffin because of the extent of the facial and head injuries is too fucking late. Vowing to use a seat belt at a grave side is too fucking late. Using other areas of risk as a mitigating factor? Belts on the bus you aren't using won't stop your child dying from being unrestrained in the car you are.
Gamble on last minute flights, gamble on a fixer upper, gamble on the 3.15 at Kempton but what breathtaking arrogance to gamble with someone else's life, one you are responsible for.

[paragirl1981]

YANB My 3 yr old dd was in the back of the car not strapped in while we were going around a safari park, I was literally doing 5mph and put the brakes on to go over a speed bump and she flew forward and bumped her head on the centre console.
I know it was a stupid thing to do, she was sitting on dh's lap in the front a minute earlier then decided to get into the back when it happened.

Since then I would always strap children in, imagine how awful it would be if you were doing 30 or even 60 mph!

[ThatBloodyWoman]

I absolutely think that, like peggy says, there should be seatbelts on buses.

I worry that if the bus did an emergency stop, even, my dd's could smash their faces and teeth on the rail along the top of the seat in front.

I can take a newborn baby on a bus, with no restraining belt, when only a few days before I wouldn't be able to leave the maternity ward without a properly strapped in car seat.It's crazy.

I was definitely stopped from going through the windscreen in one accident, and being flung out of the door in another, by wearing a seatbelt.

[GoldenGytha]

Yes Littleprincess

The mother's argument was that we were not going far, but she didn't want to see that it doesn't matter how far you are going, you could just be sitting in your car outside your house, an accident only takes seconds to happen.

I told DD2 when she came in from work, and she was as horrified as me, she went through all the horrific things that could have happened, which I must say keep going through my mind.

I just remembered too that my friend was in an accident, not long after she passed her test about 20 years ago, it involved her and her mother, neither were seriously injured, but they were both wearing belts, and it happened coming out of a car park, so again, they had been in the car for 2 minutes.

[LittleprincessinGOLDrocks]

YANBU.
I have only had one accident, and it was just round the corner from my house, as in on the road directly behind my house. I had just set off for work at 6am. I went in to the side of another car (won't get in to whose fault it was - I say 50/50 blame, but I digress). Since then the argument of "we are not going far" is blown out of the window. I had travelled less than 2 minutes.
My FIL rarely wears his seat belt, is not a big believer in car seats for short journeys. I have made it clear he abides by my rules or he doesn't get to take the children out. He does as I ask, and I know he does as DD will tell on him, and she does tell granddad to always wear his seat belt!

[GoldenGytha]

Mrs DeVere,

You have been through so much

Some of the stories on this thread are so sad, and so scary, I'm tempted to show it to friend's niece, but I think I'd be told what to do with myself.

[Bunbaker]

I agree with nennypops

If not wearing a seatbelt had absolutely no impact or implicationss for anyone else then fine. But it does and not wearing one is just irresponsible and childish.

peggy Are you just one of those bolshie people that doesn't like being told what to do on principle? The rebel who wouldn't wear school uniform?

[KatieKaye]

"We should not be legislating to force adults to do something" peggy??
Really?
Do you want to stand back and read that statement again?
Utter nonsense. there are many examples that could be cited to prove how ridiculous that is, but staying on topic you are honestly saying that there should not be a law to protect people by the simple act of putting on a seatbelt?
You have an irrational prejudice against seatbelts. I would let a child of mine be in a car alone with you because I would be worried for their safety.

[MissHC]

My best friend died because she wasn't wearing her seat belt. The car crashed (aqua planing), she was thrown around and died from internal injuries. Told the ambulance crew she felt she was going to die, so it wasn't even instant.

YANBU.

[GoldenGytha]

The more I think about it, the angrier I get at her not strapping her DC in, all the possible consequences don't bear thinking about,

They live a short distance away from the older boy's nursery, but friend's niece always drives there, and now I'm wondering if she straps them in for that.

[nennypops]

I completely agree seatbelts can save lives however i think it should be a personal choice on wearing one or not. The govt introduce too many laws to save us from ourselves, every adult knows about the risks they take, if they find them acceptable that should be the end of it, we should not be legislating to force adults to do something.

So what about the people sitting in the front when you, sitting in the back, decide not to wear your belt? Should they be forced to take the risk when your body becomes a high speed weapon? How about the people who have to scrape you off the road? And are you prepared to pay for your care for decades if you are seriously disabled as a result of your folly? Bear in mind that no insurance company will pick up the tab.