To Have Horrified By This And Refused To Get In Car?

[GoldenGytha]

I was out for lunch today with a friend, her niece and niece's two boys aged 4 and 1.

It was about a 20 minute drive along the dual carriageway to the place we went to for lunch, but after that friend's niece wanted to go to Matalan for some clothes for a forthcoming holiday.

When we got back into the car after lunch, Matalan was about a 5 minute drive back along the dual carriageway and niece told the 4 year old to just sit in his seat and not bother about his seatbelt as it was "only a couple of minutes along the road" She also didn't strap the baby into his seat.

I said "You can't do that, you must strap them both in, it's not safe" I was rather abruptly told that it was not my business, they'd be fine for all the distance they were going. I said I couldn't get in a car where a child wasn't safely strapped in, and that I was very uncomfortable with it.

After a lot of muttering and "FFS Golden, what a fuss to make about nothing, are you always this bad, and if it makes you fucking happy I'll strap them in"

I don't normally go about telling folk what to do with their kids, but this really shocked me, WIBU to have said something?

[peggyundercrackers]

I completely agree seatbelts can save lives however i think it should be a personal choice on wearing one or not. The govt introduce too many laws to save us from ourselves, every adult knows about the risks they take, if they find them acceptable that should be the end of it, we should not be legislating to force adults to do something. Same goes for the smoking ban really...

I also think if people are made to wear belts in cars & planes then busses and trains should be covered too. I also think people standing in trains should be stopped as that is an accident waiting to happen.

[PigletJohn]

Peggy

The "smoking ban" as you call it does not ban people from smoking.

It does however restrict their right to impose their vile habit on other people. Do you think that is wrong?

[TheWanderingUterus]

The Think! adverts are particularly shocking:

think.direct.gov.uk/seat-belts.html

I still remembered the Julie one from the mid 1990s almost word for word, absolutely horrified me. It made me realise that an unsecured passenger in the back isnt necessarily going to be killed in a low speed crash but there is a good chance they can kill the person in front of them.

I won't drive if people dont have their seatbelts on. And I have asked to people to get out of my car if they refuse to wear one.

[Backinthering]

I don't understand at all the mentality of not wearing a seatbelt. They are not popular to say the least in the country I'm from - people have some bizarre belief that they are dangerous, some shit about being trapped in a burning car.... And in the news, with monotonous regularity, it's "passengers were ejected from crashed vehicle", "bodies were strewn over a wide area" and on and on and yet people continue not to wear them.

[Appletini]

Peggy - what gives you the right to decide that your child's safety does not matter?

[northlight]

One freezing day on the A9 when my screenwash was frozen, I, like every other driver, had to stop frequently in the lay-bys to clear my windscreen with snow.

One time I drove off without my seatbelt. The only time I ever have. I felt so unsafe, and the distance to the next (really very close) lay-by seemed endless but in the conditions it seemed safer than stopping on the carriageway.

I don't know how anyone could fail to fasten in their children.
Well done OP.

[drspouse]

We went on holiday with my DB and DN aged 18 months plus DSIL and my DM. They organised the car rental. This is the DB who got their first car seat from a skip and was actually already staying in the country but without a car so we checked they had ordered a car seat that fit both cars we were hiring. They hadn't ordered one at all and were planning to "put DN in the baby backpack, it's hard framed".
We refused to drive or get in the cars until the car seat was collected. We had checked the law in the country we were staying in (it's not a country you'd in any way think wouldn't make it compulsory, but it was a very rural location and they could easily have driven without being seen by police or indeed almost anyone else - right off a cliff).
To this day I think they think we were being silly.

[Crinkle77]

I know I sound all judgy but I was horrified when some people I know got in to a taxi with their baby and had not brought a car seat with them. They were just happy to sit their 1 year old baby on the mothers knee with the seat belt over the 2 of them.

[nennypops]

I completely agree seatbelts can save lives however i think it should be a personal choice on wearing one or not. The govt introduce too many laws to save us from ourselves, every adult knows about the risks they take, if they find them acceptable that should be the end of it, we should not be legislating to force adults to do something.

So what about the people sitting in the front when you, sitting in the back, decide not to wear your belt? Should they be forced to take the risk when your body becomes a high speed weapon? How about the people who have to scrape you off the road? And are you prepared to pay for your care for decades if you are seriously disabled as a result of your folly? Bear in mind that no insurance company will pick up the tab.

[GoldenGytha]

The more I think about it, the angrier I get at her not strapping her DC in, all the possible consequences don't bear thinking about,

They live a short distance away from the older boy's nursery, but friend's niece always drives there, and now I'm wondering if she straps them in for that.

[MissHC]

My best friend died because she wasn't wearing her seat belt. The car crashed (aqua planing), she was thrown around and died from internal injuries. Told the ambulance crew she felt she was going to die, so it wasn't even instant.

YANBU.

[KatieKaye]

"We should not be legislating to force adults to do something" peggy??
Really?
Do you want to stand back and read that statement again?
Utter nonsense. there are many examples that could be cited to prove how ridiculous that is, but staying on topic you are honestly saying that there should not be a law to protect people by the simple act of putting on a seatbelt?
You have an irrational prejudice against seatbelts. I would let a child of mine be in a car alone with you because I would be worried for their safety.

[Bunbaker]

I agree with nennypops

If not wearing a seatbelt had absolutely no impact or implicationss for anyone else then fine. But it does and not wearing one is just irresponsible and childish.

peggy Are you just one of those bolshie people that doesn't like being told what to do on principle? The rebel who wouldn't wear school uniform?

[GoldenGytha]

Mrs DeVere,

You have been through so much

Some of the stories on this thread are so sad, and so scary, I'm tempted to show it to friend's niece, but I think I'd be told what to do with myself.

[LittleprincessinGOLDrocks]

YANBU.
I have only had one accident, and it was just round the corner from my house, as in on the road directly behind my house. I had just set off for work at 6am. I went in to the side of another car (won't get in to whose fault it was - I say 50/50 blame, but I digress). Since then the argument of "we are not going far" is blown out of the window. I had travelled less than 2 minutes.
My FIL rarely wears his seat belt, is not a big believer in car seats for short journeys. I have made it clear he abides by my rules or he doesn't get to take the children out. He does as I ask, and I know he does as DD will tell on him, and she does tell granddad to always wear his seat belt!

[GoldenGytha]

Yes Littleprincess

The mother's argument was that we were not going far, but she didn't want to see that it doesn't matter how far you are going, you could just be sitting in your car outside your house, an accident only takes seconds to happen.

I told DD2 when she came in from work, and she was as horrified as me, she went through all the horrific things that could have happened, which I must say keep going through my mind.

I just remembered too that my friend was in an accident, not long after she passed her test about 20 years ago, it involved her and her mother, neither were seriously injured, but they were both wearing belts, and it happened coming out of a car park, so again, they had been in the car for 2 minutes.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

I absolutely think that, like peggy says, there should be seatbelts on buses.

I worry that if the bus did an emergency stop, even, my dd's could smash their faces and teeth on the rail along the top of the seat in front.

I can take a newborn baby on a bus, with no restraining belt, when only a few days before I wouldn't be able to leave the maternity ward without a properly strapped in car seat.It's crazy.

I was definitely stopped from going through the windscreen in one accident, and being flung out of the door in another, by wearing a seatbelt.

[paragirl1981]

YANB My 3 yr old dd was in the back of the car not strapped in while we were going around a safari park, I was literally doing 5mph and put the brakes on to go over a speed bump and she flew forward and bumped her head on the centre console.
I know it was a stupid thing to do, she was sitting on dh's lap in the front a minute earlier then decided to get into the back when it happened.

Since then I would always strap children in, imagine how awful it would be if you were doing 30 or even 60 mph!

[Ohbyethen]

I just don't understand.
I lost a child, it's unbearable still 10 years later, like my heart stopped beating that day. It was cancer but I still felt guilty, what if we'd done x instead of y, what if, what if?
On another thread there's a poster who is taking chances with her children's health because she hasn't dropped dead or got fat on a terrible diet, here seatbelts are a nanny state human rights issue?

If I was responsible for the death of my child I couldn't survive it. Having your mind changed when you're having to have a closed tiny white coffin because of the extent of the facial and head injuries is too fucking late. Vowing to use a seat belt at a grave side is too fucking late. Using other areas of risk as a mitigating factor? Belts on the bus you aren't using won't stop your child dying from being unrestrained in the car you are.
Gamble on last minute flights, gamble on a fixer upper, gamble on the 3.15 at Kempton but what breathtaking arrogance to gamble with someone else's life, one you are responsible for.

[Edendance]

Good for you OP. I just CANNOT understand how people jusitfy things like seatbelts for their children. Helmets on bikes is another one...

[FixItUpChappie]

Just wanted to add - good for you OP. the world needs more people who speak up for children's safety and stand up for what they think is right.

you were spot on