to think going to a grandmother's funeral is exceptional circumstances

[SelfRighteousPrissyPants]

My 6 year old's headteacher has refused to allow him authorised leave of absence to go to my mum's funeral as it isn't exceptional circumstances! She is going to recommend that we don't get a fine, though I don't know if her recommendation has to be acted on.

What is exceptional circumstances if a close relatives funeral doesn't count FFS?

is it ten days or ten sessions though?
(one day is two sessions! )

apparently ten days consecutive where i am. i do tend to switch off when the HT opens his trap though, but probably best to ring the LA independently as they're the ones who issue the fines where i am (i.e. not issued by the school).

In the States, it's not done to take young children to funerals. It is hard to find someone to watch a young child, but six is old enough to stay with a school friend or trusted adult.

Erica I went to my brother's funeral at the age of three. Had I been left with a 'trusted adult', I'd have resented my parents for the rest of my life, and probably wouldn't have had the healthy attitude towards death that I have today.

It isn't something to fear, and teaching children to fear it by making it something taboo and not allowing them to attend the funerals of family members is setting up a lot of problems.

Glad it got sorted OP, really sorry for your loss

my DD is 4.5 if any of her 3 remaining grandparents died I would take her to the funeral, I would not take her to any funeral but of close family I would. I did not go to my grandfathers funeral and regret it and I was older than 6

I think it really is the parents call not the HT about suitability of a funeral of a close relative

keenyp because the law says that it is for the head teacher and he/she alone to decide what constitutes exceptional circumstances then this will vary from school to school in the absence of any better guidance. in terms of fines each LEA makes its own decisions again. some have your policies mine does not. this is the nub of the issue for a lot of people - too much interpretation and not enough parental trust.

Ericaequites This isn't the States, though.

I took my DCs to my aunt's funeral when DS was 7. He did have several moments of being upset during the weeks afterwards, just for a short while, and tbh, I feel he was in reality processing ideas about death. I had no-one to leave him with, it was rather short notice.

He's well over that now, and I've always left it open for either DC to talk about this if they want.

What a ridiculous decision the headmaster has made. Appalling. Who do these people think they are to dictate whether or not a child should go to a funeral. Disgusting.

Sorry about your mum.

Ericaequites - I don't agree that young children should be left with a trusted adult instead of attending close relatives funerals.

My mum lost her father when she was a young child.

My mum was not allowed to go to his funeral because she was "too young".

That was more than 50 years ago, and my mum still gets upset about not having been allowed to go to the funeral whenever the subject comes up. She has said on numerous occasions that she feels that she never got the chance to say a proper goodbye to her father.

You have to read the thread,snowmummy, there are updates.