to be uncomfortable with a naked incontinent toddler?

[prudenceprude]

We visited family yesterday. Their two yo dd stripped off after dinner, pooed on the floor and then ran around naked for the rest of the afternoon.

Their house, their rules and I would never have said anything but we are contemplating not visiting for a while.

They made no attempt to dress her and found it hilarious. My 11yo ds1 was mortified, I was more worried about the hygiene factor.

Aibu and a prude? I'm generally very laid back but felt really uncomfortable. I'd be fine with naked kids in the paddling pool in the garden, for eg, or just out of the bath for a run around, but stripping off after dinner, shutting under the table and then spending the afternoon flollopping about naked with no attempt to dress her or even put pants on her made me feel a bit queasy.

Is it me?

[rumbleinthrjungle]

YANBU.

No issue in your own home when kids are running around playing/toilet training, but I wouldn't have thought it was appropriate either in the middle of a large group get together. Nor however cute the child, would I particularly want to closely witness her pee and poo at random intervals through dinner.

[vladthedisorganised]

The poo on the floor would have made me very queasy- is that very unusual?
Naked toddler runnn

[mrsminiverscharlady]

YANBU, I've been through the potty training stage four times so I'm not bothered by toddler nakedness or poos, but I think it's a bit yuk to let your child poo on the floor in company.

A friend of mine did elimination communication with her kids and I remember clearly the time when we went round for lunch and her toddler weed on the floor. She wiped it up with the dish cloth (yes really) and then went on to let him pick the food she'd served up with his unwashed hands and pass it round I've never eaten there again.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

YANBU

[passmethewineplease]

Did the parents actually let the toddler poo on the floor or was it unexpected?

I doubt they let their two year old use the living room as a toilet?

Naked toddlers don't bother me one bit, it's just a body, we all have them, fair enough the pooping is grim when eating but I doubt they just left it there and did nothing!

[Caitlin17]

I'm with you OP.

[BigChocFrenzy]

I've enjoyed naturist holidays in Germany and Scandinavia - very relaxing, all ages from babies to 80s and 90s, noone worried about saggy bits or wrinkles.

I saw more old sausage & veg than in Tesco and they had the dubious pleasure of seeing mine, God help 'em

BUT hygiene was non-negotiable:

. Babies and toddlers always had nappies or were on several layers of towelling.

. Naked kids were supervised by their parents and were absolutely no trouble.

. Noone plonked their bare arse on furniture - before sitting, everyone put a bath towel on the furniture to cover seat and back

. People wrapped a towel around their middle before any meals at a table, to avoid leaning over and dipping sausage in the gravy

[tiredoutgran]

I think with immediate family I would have no issue, our toddler (boy) runs around naked all the time at home, I wouldn't allow it if we had guests and he knows the difference. When my own 3 girls were little they always had to have pants on under nighties etc if we had anyone from outside the immediate family there. I wouldn't want ANYONE seeing my girls naked, even extended family, because you never really know what they are thinking. The poo on the floor from a 2 yo wouldn't worry me so much, not pleasant but they have no real control at that age nor sense of what is nasty or nice behaviour wise.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Did the child do it more than once,and was the child cleaned?

[thebear1]

I would make sure my kids are at the very least in pants or nappy when there are guests.

[FreudiansSlipper]

to have no inhibition's is a wonderful thing so innocent and free

I believe in letting children be this way until they do naturally become more self conscious

the pooing thing would not bother me

[AreWeThereYeti]

Yanbu. I don't mind a bit of nakedness especially outside when playing with water but not in the house with guests. It's not the place for it. I am not suprised your DS felt uncomfortable.

[AuroraSim]

That nappy or pants, you would have wrestled him into would have been back on the time by the time you sat down.

Your being a prude!

[thebodydoestricks]

Mumsnet is funny.

As soon as anyone mentions they actually they really don't like seeing toddlers running around naked ( excluding bath time etc) posters pile in and say why is it shameful? Or that you have problems with nudity per se.

No it's about boundaries and general taste really.

Also we taught ours from that age that their bodies were both beautiful and private.

I don't walk around naked. My kids didn't either.

I agree with the op. It's unnecessary and a bit lazy really. Why not pop on a pair of pants or a nappy?

[Swanlake123]

YANBU.

I agree with you but maybe I am unreasonable when it comes to nakedness. For example, I don't like children running around naked on beaches etc. I think parents can become selfish and believe that just because they think their child running around naked is cute, not everyone else does and they don't take into account that it can make people feel awkward. I just think it is appropriate when on a beach, or when guests are there to make sure your children are dressed and behaving in a manner that doesn't make anyone feel uncomfortable, it's not like they're there all the time - there is plenty of time for the child to run around naked once they've gone home surely?

[hotcrosshunny]

I read it that the toddler was dressed then stripped then pooed.

Bit different to you arriving to a naked toddler.

Plus you're family?

They should have dressed toddler or stuck pants on but it is hard when they're lightning fast at removing clothes.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

What BigChocFrenzy said.

It's one thing a toddler running round the house naked when you've got company, for 10 mins or so after a bath or if they've been playing in a paddling pool in the garden, or for longer on the beach but I really don't see the need for it to be long enough in a house so that it becomes unhygienic if they're pooing and weeing everywhere.

Plus, a nursery just wouldn't allow it. It's expected social behaviour in groups. They have to learn social boundaries.

[Purpleroxy]

I am laughing, sorry, but actually Yanbu.

They should have apologised for the 2yo shitting on the floor in front of you. Shit is shit and you don't expect to encounter that after dinner.

I think the 11yo really adds another dimension because kids of that age get embarrassed about stuff whereas adults who are parents have probably seen it all before. I expect he was embarrassed about the turd and the nudity.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

YAnBU. Nowt wrong with a naked child, as long as they are fully toilet trained.

Nakedness fine.

Watching someone else wee/poo not fine.

And no bare arses on fabric surfaces (bed OK)

[StillWishihadabs]

yAbu this is normal toddler behaviour, how is it that your 11 year old has not encountered this before ? By pandering to your preteen's embarrassment you are storing up a whole heap of trouble for later IMO.

[SantanaLopez]

YANBU, that's grim.

[somewheresomehow]

I am also with you OP, being starkers and crapping on the floor in front of friends and their children is not on.
why do we have to tolerate toddlers running round starkers, it aint shameful just lazy parenting, surely she should have been taken to the loo or something

[somewheresomehow]

sorry but crapping on the floor is Not normal toddler behaviour

[Gruntfuttock]

The shitting incident occurred while they were having dessert. How revolting. YANBU.

I couldn't understand Randall's objection to the word "cavorting" so I looked up the definition, in case I was missing something. It said On the Free dictionary:-

1. To bound or prance about in a sprightly manner; caper.
   
2. To have lively or boisterous fun; romp: The children cavorted in the water, splashing and ducking each other.
   

So I'm still at a loss as to what's wrong with the word.