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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be uncomfortable with a naked incontinent toddler?

204 replies

prudenceprude · 21/04/2014 09:41

We visited family yesterday. Their two yo dd stripped off after dinner, pooed on the floor and then ran around naked for the rest of the afternoon.

Their house, their rules and I would never have said anything but we are contemplating not visiting for a while.

They made no attempt to dress her and found it hilarious. My 11yo ds1 was mortified, I was more worried about the hygiene factor.

Aibu and a prude? I'm generally very laid back but felt really uncomfortable. I'd be fine with naked kids in the paddling pool in the garden, for eg, or just out of the bath for a run around, but stripping off after dinner, shutting under the table and then spending the afternoon flollopping about naked with no attempt to dress her or even put pants on her made me feel a bit queasy.

Is it me?

OP posts:
sarahquilt · 21/04/2014 10:09

YANBU - that's gross.

Original poster
prudenceprude · 21/04/2014 10:10

It made me queasy because she shat on the floor in the middle of dessert and then ran around and sat on chairs and the floor and peoples laps and i was waiting for her to wee everywhere tbh.

Not queasy because she was naked, per se, but because she is incontinent.

Ds1 was uncomfortable with the in your face nudity, he's at that very body conscious/embarrassed stage.

I was just a bit flabbergasted really.

OP posts:
Jinty64 · 21/04/2014 10:12

Mine spent quite a lot of time running around naked but, with 15 dinner guests, I would have dressed them even just a nappy and vest with poppers.

JuniperTisane · 21/04/2014 10:13

I agree with you actually. I have no problem with naked toddlers at the right time and place - garden, beach, own home with family around but I don't see why its acceptable to let them roam naked in company and use the floor as a toilet.

IamInvisible · 21/04/2014 10:13

What WooWooOwl said!

PlumpPartridge · 21/04/2014 10:13

I have two toddler boys (1.9 & 2.10) and both DH and I went 'Eurgh' when we read your op. We would emphatically NOT have done this with our DSs.

My main reasons are:

  1. Poo/wee risk
  2. What if he gets cold?
  3. Risk of DS1 doing the 'willy dance' Hmm
  4. General feeling that nakedness in your home is inappropriate with anyone other than close family.

It's not just us, either. Friend X went to Friend Y's house for a goodbye party with lots of toddlers about (we couldn't make it). Friend X's DS was 2yo and Friend Y's DC were 3yo (DS) and 2yo (DD). The DD kept taking her nappy off (sort of ok) and then playing with herself (legs spread wide and both hands in there - not really ok). Friend Y never attempted to say anything. Obviously Friend X kept quiet but she said the dealbreaker was when the food came out and Friend Y's DD proceeded to touch all the food with her unwashed hands.

There are limits with toddler nakedness, I feel!!

sassysally · 21/04/2014 10:15

YANBU.Do they have hard (disinfectable) floors

ScrambledEggAndToast · 21/04/2014 10:15

YANBU. I haven't read all of the thread yet hangs head in shame. However, I think it's totally gross and anti-social that they would let a child poo on the floor, especially in front of guests. It's just so unhygienic. I'm 50/50 about the nakedness. I wouldn't let my DS do it as I don't think it's appropriate at any age but if others want to then I wouldn't say anything.

DamnBamboo · 21/04/2014 10:16

I would have attempted to put pants on if this were my child, although I wouldn't mind personally if there was a naked toddler around me.

I struggled for years to get clothes on any of mine and my now 4 year old suddenly appears naked out of nowhere and runs away when I suggest clothing.

It doesn't last forever.

Hassled · 21/04/2014 10:17

Please tell me they wiped her bum between the pooing and the lap sitting.

Agree that naked incontinent toddlers belong in the privacy of their immediate family. If you have 15 guests, you put a nappy on.

thebodydoestricks · 21/04/2014 10:18

Yes but her ds was embaressed.

His feelings as a guest should be taken into account no?

As I posted my lads were 10 and 11 when we had toddler girls and they would have been embaressed to see them running round naked unless just after a bath etc. in front of their friends definatly gross.

Just seems unnecessary.

riskit4abiskit · 21/04/2014 10:20

Perhaps they were training and getting child used to being nappy less rather than it being a standard thing in their house?

RandallFloyd · 21/04/2014 10:20

Each to their own
Would bother me tbh but that's neither here nor there.

I'm just a bit Hmm at some of the language. 'Flollopping around' what on earth does that mean? Surely she was just doing what she normally does but without clothes on.

And whoever described it as 'cavorting'. Really?

Original poster
prudenceprude · 21/04/2014 10:25

Flollopping = throwing herself around heavily in the way kids do. It's something I discourage in my own lot, 'stop flollopping on my furniture' is one of my most repeated phrases. Nowt to do with her being naked really.

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 21/04/2014 10:27

Tbh I'm with the op, I've no issue with naked toddlers in general but the association with a little bum that had just shat at my feet would be too much for me I'm afraid.

I sympathise with the whole potty training thing, but if they're not at the stage of actually attempting to get it in a potty then I'd rather sit through a tantrum as they were made to put their clothes back on.

She's a guest, not family and cute toddler or not you don't expose others to their interesting pooing habits!

MothershipG · 21/04/2014 10:30

So it's mainly the hygiene issue, I get that. Smile

But actually think it won't do your DS any harm to realise there is nothing shameful about nude toddlers!

saintlyjimjams · 21/04/2014 10:31

You don't sound 'generally laid back'.

tiggytape · 21/04/2014 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saintlyjimjams · 21/04/2014 10:33

My 12 year old DS would have found it hilarious. But then he's used to seeing his teenage severely disabled brother not hiding anything so a toddler wouldn't have registered.

KatoPotato · 21/04/2014 10:34

It's not you.

That's just unconfortable for everyone involved, please say someone wiped them after the shitting and before sitting on

Also to those who 'attempt' or try to get pants on? Good grief get them on!!

saintlyjimjams · 21/04/2014 10:34

I'm sure they didn't 'let' their child poo on the floor scrambled. It just happens sometimes no?

WhoNickedMyName · 21/04/2014 10:36

YANBU. I wouldn't have been able to eat or drink anything more once the toddler had shat under the table. A naked incontinent toddler - there are times and places when that just isn't appropriate.

Bettercallsaul1 · 21/04/2014 10:37

I agree with you, OP. Naked, toilet-trained toddler (possibly!) acceptable but naked and untrained, definitely not!

claraschu · 21/04/2014 10:38

I'm sure the parents cleaned her bottom after the poo.

I agree with Mothership that you should point out to your DS that there's nothing shameful about nudity.

No one would be this upset if it were a puppy having an accident, and his bottom probably wouldn't get wiped either.

catkind · 21/04/2014 10:38

Is this child actually incontinent, in the process of PT or just had a poo accident? As long as the parents cleaned up the floor and the child immediately I wouldn't have a problem. Though I might not be inviting child to sit on my lap unless i have evidence of a degree of progress on the PT front!

Most of my friends had naked incontinent toddlers around for at least a week or two during the potty training process (or at least bare bummed which would have the same effect) and didn't stop inviting people over.