to think breastfeeding is no different to formula

[leavemealoneok]

Whats the big deal. I want to bottlefeed. Stop putting me under pressure. I had dd2 a week ago and im happy to bottle feed. But im sick of being judged by everyone about it. I quite like my boobs up where there supposed to be and personally if formula was that bad, they wouldnt sell it.

Personally bf is way overated.
I know I will be slated for this but I had to rant. Whole family is judging me for it

Thanks for all the support and again I apologise for the way I worded the thread

I forgot to mention that dm was a mw for 30 years thats why shes so against me ff.

I told her today that wont be holding easter at mines. Her reply was that im selfish and was never brought up that way.

So dh has been at pub all day again. Im giving him an ultimatum to start helping or im going to my sisters to stay until he shapes up.

Ive had enough, another night of 3 hours sleep. I think she may have colic ( probably due to ff)

Roll on tonight till that bastard is told. Im standing up to him tonight

Meh do what you want :-/

But breastfeeding is:

-Free
-Does not require any prep
-No bottles to clean/sterilise
-No annoyed baby waiting for you to get your sleep deprived arse into gear
-You don't need a degree or to do any research to work out what you're actually feeding your child. Though I'm guessing most people who ff don't really pay much attention to that as those I've asked haven't a clue which I find quite odd.

Up>>Boob>>Baby>>back to sleep is the lazy method and what nature intended you feed your baby if possible

I wish bf was that simple for me. I tried with dd1. My boobs and nipples are funny shaped so I tried nipple shield and all the positions available. I tried dd2 to my breast lastnight and after 2 hours of trying to latch on (baby screaming blue murder then dd1 woke up crying) I went and made a bottle.

So I completely give up. 2 kids under 3 crying for an hour and wont go back to sleep, is enough for me.

Now my boobs and nipples ache and im starting to feel like my boobs on fire. Ive been expressing today incase its a blocked milk duct. I dont want mastitis again

It's ok op honestly. You sound so upset and unsupported if ff makes life easier for you just do it!!! Your baby will be fine on formula.

Please please stop explains yourself. And I mean it in the nicest possible way. You so not have to justify to a bunc of strangers or your monster in law why bottles are your choice. You are feeding your baby.

I hope you can go stay at your sisters or something so you can rest and relax and not be surrounded by people who do nothing but pick at you or are so removed from the situation they may as well not be there.

Look after yourself op you are important too. Your not just a milk how for your baby you are a person too and ALL your families (well you and your children) needs need to be considered. Do whatever you want!! Hold your head high and to on with the choice that makes you happy and SOD everyone else

Wayward, I can assure you that BF twins isn't that simple.

There's plenty of very annoyed baby if you feed separately; & if you tandem feed there's a fair bit of prep. trying to get everyone settled into the right positions & both latched on properly.

And if they're as big as my two (over 16lb between them at birth) then the chances are that even if you do feed on demand, tandem feed & try to pump as well, you'll still need to top up each & every feed with formula because there isn't enough milk to satisfy them. So you get all the bottle washing & sterilization too.

So try to be aware of all the different circumstances that people face - from multiple births to latching difficulties to having to take meds. not compatible with BF - before you make smug generalizations about BF & FF mums & what "nature intended" (made doubly irritating by PA strike- throughs!).

I managed 6 weeks & we were all better off when I switched fully to FF. I knew formula wasn't the same as breastmilk, but it was good enough. And nature, frankly, could fuck off - left to the vagaries of nature none of us would even have survived the birth!

OP, listen to what Giles says. You've tried, you know it's not working & that you want to stop. Nobody else's opinions matter.

Thankyou Giles. Amazing how a bunch of strangers can make you feel sooo much better than your own family.xx

Happy easter everyone x

Happy Easter :) now go grab a nice hot bath some wine if you have some and relax once kids are asleep.

And I mean go and relax!

House and washing etc can wait!

"No one will be able to look at your baby/child, speak to them, observe them, do anything with them, and be able to tell which type of milk they received as a tiny baby. THAT is realistically how much difference it makes."

Nor indeed whether the OP smoked throughout her pregnancy or not.

Come on - we're a bit more sophisticated than that aren't we? To expect that if you can't SEE what difference a lifestyle choice makes to our or our children's health then it's because it doesn't make a difference?

You don't need to fall over yourself to give false assurances that how a child is fed can't possibly make a difference to their health, particularly as it runs counter to mainstream medical opinion.

It's sufficient to say to the OP - you have a right to feed your baby how you wish and your family and dp have a moral obligation to support you and treat you kindly and with respect.

They're your boobs and it's your baby. Do what you want..just don't harp on about those who choose to bf.
Just like its none of their business what you do. Its none of yours what they do.
Imo. II think bf is the most amazing gorgeous thing ever and I'm totally jealous of those lucky mums who can

Rtft people.

wayward you're right, I have no idea what is in formula... so should I let my baby starve because of that?

Nice one OP

ooh, if you're expressing anyway, please feed the baby what you express.
that way you're getting the best into the baby too,.while not having to worry about latching.
maybe you'll fibd expressing to feed works okay for you for at least some feeds. :)

and your mother is the most selfish woman I can imagine.
how is expecting your daughter to cook and host a big dinner one week after having a baby not selfish?

and your dh is also being an arse.

If DH had been in the pub all day when we had two under three he would have been not long for this life.

OP, I hope he gets his arse in gear. Good luck tonight.

Yanbu for feeding how you want
Yabu for thinking it's the same as breastfeeding. It isn't. At all.
Yabu for trying to convince people it's the same just to in my opinion, ease your conscience!!! If you didn't care you wouldn't be starting a thread!

Would people please RTFT!

leaveme, can I suggest you start a new thread in relationships, and you will get some really helpful advice about your family issues.

The BF/FF debate is the least of your worries here.

And congratulations on your lovely baby.

OP, your title and original post rattled my cage somewhat, but after reading your subsequent posts, I feel like giving you a big hug and shouting lots at your husband and mother. Oh. My. Word. Poor you.
You should just go out as a family tomorrow perhaps (by that,
I mean you, husband and tiddlers, NOT the others!), even if just for a drive if you are not feeling great. Perhaps get some fresh air and fresh perspective. Your husband needs to pull his weight, but may have his own stuff going on that he needs to discuss too. Your mum? No excuses! I would suggest she brings food to your and cooks at your place, but you may just bump her off and that wouldn't be a very good thing to do on Easter Sunday. Bet she recommended ff 30years ago too when working as a mw.
Are you getting decent support from a breastfeeding counsellor? It seems like you want to keep going with it on some level. If really not, and you are truly happy with that, fine. Otherwise, try to get some decent help perhaps.
I hope you manage to stand your ground tomorrow and have a lovely Easter with your recently extended family.

Op your dh and dm are behaving like arseholes. Please hold off seeing dm until you feel stronger. Tell your dh in no uncertain terms exactly what he needs to do to help you.

I bf my kid but imo, while bf and ff are very different i dont think yabu in your first post in the sense that the eventual outcome is identical. I also think there are equal numbers of pros and cons for each option. There are obviously some health benefits to bf for both parties but it is stressful to start with, think ds and i would have bonded quicker if i hadnt been so sore and stressed and if he hadn't been so hungry in the first few days. His cmpa might have also been picked up quicker if he'd been on formula, ironically! All the ff babies i know are very contented in a way ds never was as a newborn. But its swings and roundabouts really, lots of good reasons to do either. Anyone doing ff please don't feel guilty, that's just daft.
And ftr my boobs were 28G prebaby and 32c after, and floppy as spaniels ears. But i luffs them! After a lifetime of people addressing me by my boobs and assuming all sorts about my personality its lovely to have under the radar, 'grown up lady' breasts.

I think it's sad that you would make this decision based on the possibility your boobs may look a bit different does it really matter that much?
Posters saying their boobs are the same after feeding are still feeding into this idea that your appearance is vitally important.
There's nothing wrong with ff of course but try to make an informed decision not one based on wanting to look 'sexy'.

Sorry to hear that you're feeling judged and pressured at this vulnerable time.

You've made your decision and shouldn't feel bad or need to justify it to anyone!

Congratulations and enjoy your new baby :)

Forget what anyone thinks I couldn't bf my 2 kids and won't be able to with the other babies in planning to have so I had to formula feed but this made no difference to my kids do not feel pressured at all by other peoples judging you baby your choice but there is a difference between bf and ff the bf has better health benefits for baby and mum but do not give a 2nd thought to judgers there will ways be so eke who judges you as they would do it differently doesn't mean your wrong!

Congratulations on your baby

itsbetterthanabox, I don't think that those saying their breast size was unchanged by pregnancy were feeding into the idea that appearance mattered more than breastfeeding. I certainly wasn't, but can't speak for others. I was just trying to reassure one poster for whom appearance WAS important, but not necessarily more important. Personally, I feel breasts are first and foremost for feeding children, that's what was important to m, and they could end up looking like Ludo boards for all I care after I finish feeding.

Your DM sounds unbelievable. Why would any reasonable person expect someone to cook and host a dinner for 12 within 2 weeks of not just having a baby, but having major surgery as well? You can't do dinner because you have just had a baby; she can't do dinner because she has just had her carpets cleaned! Who is the selfish one here?

I hope you are able to get some rest either at your sister's or getting your DH to help more - just you and your little family, not the others!