to think breastfeeding is no different to formula

[leavemealoneok]

Whats the big deal. I want to bottlefeed. Stop putting me under pressure. I had dd2 a week ago and im happy to bottle feed. But im sick of being judged by everyone about it. I quite like my boobs up where there supposed to be and personally if formula was that bad, they wouldnt sell it.

Personally bf is way overated.
I know I will be slated for this but I had to rant. Whole family is judging me for it

Newsflash, no one gives a shit how you feed your baby.

I have many points about the reasons why women choose not to bf, and the problems with the way we veiw women's bodies and infant feeding, and there is no denying that human milke for human rights babies is better than formula. I am very pro breastfeeding and think we have become very odd, as a society, that it's seen as something weird to feed your baby from your breast. BUT, if anyone is sniffy or snarky about your legitimate choice, as an adult woman, over the best way for you to feed your baby, they're a dick.

I've done both for all 3.It really is neither here nor there.

Lots of parenting choices are preferable.

Op I wouldn't give it a second thought.My kids are 10 and 9 now with a balanced diet.

I put far more thought and worry into whether they've eaten enough veg,got enough exercise,got enough sleep or had too much screen time.

A few bottles of formula is just piffle and something I never even think about.

My phone just added random words there. I give up.

Oh and Howmuch my dd has cmpa which makes me feel even more guilty. She was hospitalized because she had such a bad reaction and your comments about that have made me feel quite shit too actually. I tried my best with bfing, I loved it and it meant the world to me, but it didn't work out. I didn't have the supply and dd was losing too much weight. I didn't choose to give her cows milk formula, but it was that or have her starve.

I may be taking it all a bit personally, but I think you should remember that it is something that can really upset people.

YABU to say ff is better than bf for your baby. It's not.
YANBU to ff though, if that is what you want to do
You need to stand up for yourself with the snidy commenters. It's your baby, your choice, and we're very lucky to live in a country where it's safe and perfectly adequate to ff. If they want to help you, they should put the kettle on or vacuum your house...

Koothra I'm so sorry you feel like that.

You know, you are allowed to feel sad that BF didn't work out for you.

I know people mean well when they say "oh what does it matter, a healthy child is a healthy child, so what if s/he wasn't BF" but if you feel sad about it, then it does matter and I think people saying it doesn't, is very invalidating and almost forces people into that position of pretending that they believe BF and FF is the same - mothers are made to feel that they're being ungrateful princesses because after all, they've got healthy babies, what more do they want? But actually, it's not self indulgent to feel shit that your body wouldn't do what it's supposed to and what everyone tells you is the most natural thing in the world, blah blah.

I feel really pissed off that there is so little support for women who want to talk about how sad they feel. I feel really pissed off that their feelings are so easily dismissed and invalidated.

But it's not the same is it? Why would not succeeding in breastfeeding feeding mean you then have to try and convince yourself otherwise? It's never going to be the case that formula is the same or better for babies than breast milk. It's a battle you're not going to win as it's just factually incorrect.

I'm not trying to induce guilt. I for selfish reasons really - for my own mental health - have up bfing to return to work when DD was 7mo. If anyone should feel guilty it should be me as it was a conscious decision rather than, like you, desperately wanting to do something and sadly not being able to.

Fair point Ask. I may have extrapolated on your post somewhat.

But...what is an Aunt Sally? I've not heard that before.

• gave up

well OP you are correct in my opinion i have bottle fed my 3 sons .i really didnt like the thought of breast feeding .my sons are over six feet .big strapping lads .never really been ill .so YOU do what you feel comfortable with not gistappo midwives .

LOL Alis
An Aunt Sally is an argument no one has made.

So you can argue against something that's obviously rubbish but if no one has made that argument, then it's an Aunt Sally.

I have no idea what the origin of the phrase is!

I'm really honestly not trying to upset people. I just get really annoyed when people say ff is the same as BM as a knee-jerk reaction to feeling shit about their choice/sadly not being able to bf for whatever reason.

How do you think it makes a bf-er feel when someone says with a swipe of their hand "ah it makes no difference - ff is just the same thing. Stop being precious." Pretty shit really as it's exhausting for some people and can really push you to your limits. It did me anyway.

Yawn.

Hundreds of thousands of years' of human evolution versus '30 years of breast milk research'.

Breast milk is an organic, ever changing, live substance. It's uniquely made by each mother for their babies specific developmental & nutritional needs at any given moment, at each stage. Formula is reconstituted, fortified cow's plasma/ milk sourced from any old cow, mixed with boiled chemically treated, recycled tap water.

Breastfeeding encourages optimum neurological & immunological benefits for baby and a mother can cut her chances of acquiring certain cancers by breastfeeding full term.

Breast milk has live stem cells in it (as it is essentially plasma) & research is proving it can help prevent & treat cancer. (Please do some research on this yourself if you don't believe me).

You want to bottle feed - great, good for you for sticking to your guns - but do get over it now. Tell your family you don't give a fuck about their opinions & you can do what you please wrt your child's welfare.

You've never used your breasts for their biological purpose, you've never seen or felt the joy of your little newborn fulling out into a fat cherub from your milk/off your body alone. So Wtf would you know about bfing?

Breastfeeding is not the same as formula. Get your facts straight before spouting off such a load of twaddle.

Yawn. Night night.

Thanks ask, it hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. I have never ever judged anyone on how they feed their baby, and just thought I would give it a go, but I absolutely loved it. The Times I get upset now is if dd falls asleep kind of snuggling up to the bottle and I think that it should be me she is snuggling up to. It should be me giving her that comfort. (Again, not a comment on anyone else's choices, but what I felt was right for me and dd)

I also get a real feeling of jealousy when I read about posters on here happily bfing their older babies and how special that is because I won't get that with dd.

Sorry I don't really talk about it and apparently needed to blurt it all out. OP, I hope you are ok and that you feel more supported now. I'm sure you are doing a great job and I wish you all the best.

I FF all my four and they are all on the Gifted and Talented register. Whereas those mums in my Ante Natal group BF? Well some of their kids are thick as pig shit and behave like complete morons....

Just my way of saying that it is not whether you BF or FF that defines your child, it is your parenting skills and the boundaries you set that matter.

FF or BF? Your choice and no one has the right to make you feel guilty of any choice you make....

TCP

That should say at obla

I can't imagine anyone really honestly giving a shiney shite what you do when it comes to feeding your baby.
As long as you are happy and baby is thriving.

I do feel bad for the OP but I'm really just speaking my mind about bf in general now - not directing at a new mum who's feeling bad. OP you really should have thought more carefully about your post but to be fair I think I'd actually die if my first post on MN was somehow found. God only knows what it was about.

Haha newborn filling out to a fat cherub.

Often not hence years of women resorting to other alternatives which happily now in this country are safe and ensure millions of babies thrive including those which haven't on breast milk.

Op we're very lucky in this country.Stock up on SMA and enjoy your baby,wish I'd done the same earlier.

Ignore the guiltmongerers. Seriously the benefits are so minimal in 10 years time you won't care or give how you fed your child as a baby a second thought.

Obla - did you read the thread before you posted that? The op is a new mum who is having a tough time and feeling completely unsupported, was the tone of your post really necessary? Way to kick a woman when she is down!

Feed your baby how you want. Ignore the people who deride your decision. If you've researched and decided what is best for you, then brilliant.

But I do find your statement, "if formula was that bad, they wouldnt sell it." utter bollocks as a back up.

All sorts of stuff is sold for human consumption. A lot of it is really bad for us. I would never use the fact it is sold as a valid argument for anything.

Howmuch - if you feel bad for the op, perhaps don't applaud someone being rude to her.

titchy anecdotal evidence proves nothing.

But I would agree with you that how you choose to feed your baby is not the be and end all of parenting.

I'm so going to store that away for future use Ask