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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think breastfeeding is no different to formula

204 replies

leavemealoneok · 18/04/2014 21:08

Whats the big deal. I want to bottlefeed. Stop putting me under pressure. I had dd2 a week ago and im happy to bottle feed. But im sick of being judged by everyone about it. I quite like my boobs up where there supposed to be and personally if formula was that bad, they wouldnt sell it.

Personally bf is way overated.
I know I will be slated for this but I had to rant. Whole family is judging me for it

OP posts:
RedandChecker · 18/04/2014 21:19

YABU because of course it is not the same. And there is certain restrictions and rules on how they can advertise formula. 'If it was that bad they wouldn't sell it' is a pet hate of mine.
Of course they would it makes money. There's a lot of things being sold that shouldn't be but make a ridiculous amount of money for the company, government and others such as pharmaceuticals. This is a whole other discussion though.

However, YANBU for not wanting to breast feed if you are finding it difficult. Ignore your family and do what's best for your state of mind and well-being. The baby will be fine. I breastfed for two weeks, but DS was a nightmare so I went on to formula wish I didn't though because it made him very sicky with it requiring umpteen amounts of meds.

It is no ones decision but yours, do what you feel is best for you and baby. Good luck and congrats.

RufusTheReindeer · 18/04/2014 21:20

You are right though, this is supposed to be a happy time so if you have made your mind up than try not to take unhelpful, negative comments to heart

hotcrosshunny · 18/04/2014 21:20

Maybe they're judging you for other reasons

WooWooOwl · 18/04/2014 21:21

Yeah, ok then!

If you're happy with your choice and you believe that formula is as good as breast milk, you will have no need to get defensive about it.

Alisvolatpropiis · 18/04/2014 21:21

Grin @ Bruno

If only you'd ended your post !

ACatCalledColin · 18/04/2014 21:23

Cool story bro.

rootypig · 18/04/2014 21:24

YANBU. Bottle feeding your baby is fine, and other people should mind their own business about your parenting choices.

Nothing can save your boobs but a life in outer space though Grin

Sparklyboots · 18/04/2014 21:24

YABU and a bit goady. If you want to be left alone then starting a bunfight is a really poor strategy.

If you need support and strategies for responding to your family about bf, posting under a different topic e.g. the feeding topic or chat would probably attract more supportive replies. Especially if you openly ask for help, rather than assert ff and bf are the same and ask for support based on this erroneous proposition.

Congratulations on your baby! She will love you however you feed her Smile

gordyslovesheep · 18/04/2014 21:25

Biscuit Biscuit

HolidayCriminal · 18/04/2014 21:26

you would have done better to start thread with "AIBU to feed baby how I want?"

Don't argue the merits of breast or bottle because the evidence is pretty heavily one way. But if you want to moan about unsupportive people in your life then MN will back you 99%.

At least they care, OP. Better than no interest at all in your baby.

AskBasil · 18/04/2014 21:26

YABVVVVVU but tbh I think ppl should cut you a bit of a slack because you are a mother with a v. new baby and relatives who are unsupportive of you.

That's shit.

Don't fall into the trap of attacking other women (it's really naff to insult women who have bf by implying their breasts area somehow inferior to your's) because your own relatives are being horrible to you. Direct your understandable and perfectly justified anger where it belongs.

And enjoy your baby. Congratulations. Thanks

LoonvanBoon · 18/04/2014 21:26

Good post, sparkly.

monicalewinski · 18/04/2014 21:26

I ff, I wasn't judged - and if I was I didn't realise.

If ff was what you wanted then own that choice, don't look for approval - just feed the baby.

Stop worrying about what other people think, it's nobody else's business but yours.

HolidayCriminal · 18/04/2014 21:27

LEAVEMEALONEOK: "I dont want to be made feel even worse than I already do"

what else is going on? Is it a tough pregnancy? Is the baby-dad supportive?

OwlCapone · 18/04/2014 21:28

I have no problem with people feeding their baby however they wish (unless it is with, say, coke).
I do have a problem with people trying to justify their choice with utter shite though.

Octopus37 · 18/04/2014 21:28

Please ignore your family, without stating the obvious, it is your right to feed your baby how you wish. I personally believe that happy Mum + happy baby. Plenty of babies are formula fed and they are fine. Just for the record (before I get slated as well), I breast fed both of my DS's, one for 8 months and one for 1 year, following on from feeding DS2, I was knackered beyond belief and think I had borderline PND. I felt run down and awful and whilst I am grateful that I was able to feed without too much difficulty, I'm not sure I would do the same if I had my time again - although it did save me a lot of money and help me lose weight. My boobs could do with a revival but tbh they were never my selling point anyway. My advice (if you are totally happy with your decision) would be to stay away from and rise above threads like this, good luck.

ICanSeeTheSun · 18/04/2014 21:29

I was to lazy to bottlefeed ds, I got away with it for 6 months then had to bottlefeed.

dd well she didn't want my boob at all, she favoured her lovely pink flowery bottle.

Quinteszilla · 18/04/2014 21:29

So why do you come on here to be exactly as judgmental and unpleasant as your family, to other women you dont even know?

usualsuspectt · 18/04/2014 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AskBasil · 18/04/2014 21:30

Also you lose all credibility when you say BF and bottle feeding are the same because obviously they are just not.

There's a better way to get the support your horrid relatives aren't giving you, MN is a great resource so don't squander it by posting daft stuff in frustration. There's loads of support here if you want it, you just need to post asking for it instead of posting nonsense.

UriGeller · 18/04/2014 21:30

You started on the defensive!

Personally I don't care whether you feed your baby your milk, a cows milk or full fat coke and cheesy wotsits.

I breastfed four children and my tits are fucking fabulous.

First rule of motherhood is Stop listening to other people advice and grow a thick skin.

tilliebob · 18/04/2014 21:30

Chipping in that I fed 3 kids for a year each and they didn't sag. Agree that sagging potential wasn't quite as high up my agenda as the health of my kids. And fwiw they're still not sagging 5 years after I last fed until my arse

Quinteszilla · 18/04/2014 21:31

I was not even fed formula. My mum gave me cows milk diluted in water, boiled and cooled.... Today you would probably be arrested by the breastfeeding police

RandallFloyd · 18/04/2014 21:32

I FF. My tits are well saggy.
Soz.

Catsize · 18/04/2014 21:33

Oh dear. Yes, I can understand your choice. After all, the pertness of your boobs is far more important than the wellbeing and health of your child, let alone the convenience of breastfeeding. I have friends who have really struggled to breastfeed, who would find your post insulting. And if you don't like being judged, then why come on here?
'If formula was that bad, they wouldn't sell it'. Priceless. Good job that shops only sell things that are good for us all. Seriously OP?...