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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with my dh regarding vaginal abscess? Might be a bit tmi sorry

155 replies

MoveYourArmsLikeHenry · 09/04/2014 20:44

Last year I had the most horrendous 2 weeks caused by an abscess on my vulva. It was agony :( I couldn't walk from the pain and antibiotics didn't take effect until later.

The doctor said it was ready to be drained but there's no point draining it as it will drain naturally very soon and be better for healing if it's left alone. This resulted in the abscess very painfully bursting all over my leg 4 days later and me having to be cleaned by a nurse every day to stop further infection, and for the first few days having to change the gauze every hour because it bled right through. Definitely not better for me :(

Anyway I now have another fucking one:( I am in so much pain, but again they won't drain it :( the doctor said abscesses can be caused by a hair follicle becoming infected, amongst other things.

lying in bed sobbing about how sore it is, dh turns round and says "it's your own fault, you never shave. If you shaved it wouldn't happen"

I am livid. He goes on and on about shaving that area. It's my choice not to and he hates it. Now he's using this as an excuse to torture me about it. :( Angry:( Angry

OP posts:
iliketea · 09/04/2014 20:46

YANBU.

And I reckon he's talking bollocks - shaving would put you at higher risk of ingrown hairs and follicle infections, not less.

foodtech · 09/04/2014 20:46

You poor thing. If you shaved it would be worse surely as more chance of ingrown hairs. LTB.

Hatescolds · 09/04/2014 20:47

Tell me if I am wrong but would have thought shaving would make it worse if caused by blocked follicle?

Acinonyx · 09/04/2014 20:47

I've had a nasty abscess recently. I'm going to pm you about it.

Nennypops · 09/04/2014 20:47

Shaving has nothing whatsoever to do with it. I have never shaved down there, and have never had an abscess. If anything there is rather more danger of infection being introduced via shaving.

Sorry you're having such a rough time, OP.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 09/04/2014 20:48

Shaving would make it worse! He's a fucking idiot.

petalsandstars · 09/04/2014 20:48

He is being a twat. If you shaved then surely you'd be atrrisk of ingrown hairs - which can also get infections!

Sympathy for the pain though

PollyCazaletWannabe · 09/04/2014 20:48

Your DH sounds like an insensitive arse. Sorry you're in such pain OP. [thanks ]

PollyCazaletWannabe · 09/04/2014 20:49

Sorry that should have been a lovely bunch of Thanks

rinabean · 09/04/2014 20:49

That's horrible on so many levels. Omg. YANBU a tiny bit. I hope you feel better soon

DoYonisHangLow · 09/04/2014 20:50

What a twunt. No YANBU. I'm sorry you're in so much pain, it sounds just horrible. As PPs have said, I think shaving woud only increase the likelihood of infections. It may be worth mentioning to your GP/ practice nurse though as maybe waxing would decrease the likelihood? No idea if it would btw but I think all options are worth exploring if you're in so much pain Sad

Original poster
MoveYourArmsLikeHenry · 09/04/2014 20:50

Thanks everyone. I've looked up some info on Google and yes, shaving increases the risk of abscesses.

I just wish he would stop going on about my sodding pubic hair. He knew I didn't shave before he married me ffs. I have a fucking right to not shave.

OP posts:
BadgerFace · 09/04/2014 20:50

Poor you, that sounds horrendous. And your DH sounds like a dick.

If I was you I'd accidentally stamp on his cock. And then blame him for having being an absolute cock.

Hope it clears up soon for you.

Goblinchild · 09/04/2014 20:50

He's wrong, but what a vile and self-centred opinion to have. He ought to be feeling your pain and supporting you. he sounds deeply stupid and insensitive.
I take it he has the full sack and crack wax so that he is bald, if he finds pubic hair so revolting?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 09/04/2014 20:53

Wow. He's behaving horribly.

MrsTonsofbloodykids · 09/04/2014 20:53

I actually thought you were going to say you did shave & would need to stop...

YANBU! Plan your revenge whilst your recovering!

Original poster
MoveYourArmsLikeHenry · 09/04/2014 20:53

badger that made me smile thanks :)

goblin oh no, it's only women who should have a hair free pubic zone Hmm

OP posts:
Teladi · 09/04/2014 20:54

Your DH is being horrible, as well as being WRONG. YANBU.

ChelworthBrond · 09/04/2014 20:54

Obviously he's the expert on all things vaginal because he's behaving like a massive cunt!

mineallmine · 09/04/2014 20:55

O I feel your pain. I had an absess on my vulva last year and it was absolute agony - and I'm not a baby when it comes to pain. You poor thing having another one. I will never forget the drive to the doctor's, not being able to sit properly on the seat to drive.

Your DH is a twat. Shaving would put you more at risk of having another one as lots of others have said.

Make sure you take or eat something to put the good bacteria back into your system after two lots of antibiotics.

Goblinchild · 09/04/2014 20:55

Couldn't live with a bloke like that.

Teladi · 09/04/2014 20:56

I forgot to say I really hope you feel better soon, it sounds horrendous! Thanks

Sparklyboots · 09/04/2014 20:56

Have my first ever LTB, OP. What a cock.

diddl · 09/04/2014 20:57

Has he always been this horrible?

ICanSeeTheSun · 09/04/2014 20:57

Use heat to draw it out ( check it on the back of your hand first don't want a burnt vulva aswell)

It is up to you if you want to shave down there.