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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with my dh regarding vaginal abscess? Might be a bit tmi sorry

155 replies

MoveYourArmsLikeHenry · 09/04/2014 20:44

Last year I had the most horrendous 2 weeks caused by an abscess on my vulva. It was agony :( I couldn't walk from the pain and antibiotics didn't take effect until later.

The doctor said it was ready to be drained but there's no point draining it as it will drain naturally very soon and be better for healing if it's left alone. This resulted in the abscess very painfully bursting all over my leg 4 days later and me having to be cleaned by a nurse every day to stop further infection, and for the first few days having to change the gauze every hour because it bled right through. Definitely not better for me :(

Anyway I now have another fucking one:( I am in so much pain, but again they won't drain it :( the doctor said abscesses can be caused by a hair follicle becoming infected, amongst other things.

lying in bed sobbing about how sore it is, dh turns round and says "it's your own fault, you never shave. If you shaved it wouldn't happen"

I am livid. He goes on and on about shaving that area. It's my choice not to and he hates it. Now he's using this as an excuse to torture me about it. :( :(

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 09/04/2014 20:57

So he wants you to shave off all your pubic hair and is using this as an excuse?
I'd tell him it doesn't matter as the GP has said your very rare condition means you can't ever have sex again or that you have to allow your pubes to grow and then have them plaited!!

Objection · 09/04/2014 20:58

I had follicultitus recently which is similar and was CAUSED by shaving.
Tell him to fuck off.
Perhaps get him to shave himself to if he's so fucking precious about it.

Sorry but this has given me the rage for some reason. What a cunt. (i don't use that word lightly!)

Alchemist · 09/04/2014 20:58

DH sounds a dick but, never mind him, is there anything you can do to help the pain? Would cold/heat help? Sounds horrendous. Hope you feel much better soon.

GlaikitFizzog · 09/04/2014 20:58

I assume her gets regular back sack and crack waxes then does he? What a cock! And an uninformed clock at that.

You have my sympathies, I would go back to you GP though. One abscess is bad enough but recurring ones need investigating.

CheesyBadger · 09/04/2014 20:59

Definitely would be worse if you shaved, what a git,

AnyaKnowIt · 09/04/2014 20:59

Oh op I feel your pain

Shaving is the last thing you'll want to do

CheesyBadger · 09/04/2014 20:59

Oh and really nice that he is using this awful time to try and coerce you into shaving for his benefit.

SecretWitch · 09/04/2014 21:00

Dear God! I'm very sorry you are so ill. You need rest and care. Your husband needs to get a fucking clue. How dare he use this as a weapon to batter you with! I would ignore him for the duration. Get well soon

Bogeyface · 09/04/2014 21:00

Have you seen another GP about it? I would insist on another opinion given that letting nature take its course was so disastrous last time. Or failing that, rock up at A&E after hours because of the pain and see what they say. I dont normally advocate using A&E for things that a GP can deal with but yours isnt dealing with it appropriately is he?

As for your H. I would recommend going totally fucking fruit loop and not letting him anywhere near your genitals again, shaved or otherwise. What a fucking arsehole.

And that is not touching on how I feel about men who like shaved pubes on women......shudder

Goblinchild · 09/04/2014 21:01

Does he often try and control things he should keep his opinions out of, and try and make you comply with his wishes?
That's not how a partnership works.

shouldnthavesaid · 09/04/2014 21:01

Shaving would make an abscess more likely.

Does this man have any redeeming features? I wouldn't want to be with him.

GlaikitFizzog · 09/04/2014 21:01

Oh and do what wolfie says! No sex and braided pubes :o

sashh · 09/04/2014 21:02

Does he really think medical conditions are caused by not shaving or is this just an excuse to bully you?

Personally I'm sure there is more evidence that when your husband is a total cock-womble that you get more abscesses.

pictish · 09/04/2014 21:02

Your dh is a shit. He is using something that is causing you great pain to score points towards his porn led sexual gratification. The prick.

I don't shave my pubes either btw...not that dh has ever asked or expected me to - but even if he did, I wouldn't. I am 38 years old and have no business having a bald fanny.

BadgerFace · 09/04/2014 21:03

Oh, and accidentally stab him in the arse. Which is his fault for being a massive arse.

Aside from his lack of compassion over your horrible painful injury a lady's topiary decisions are for her and her alone to make! I've currently misplaced the charger to my trimmer (not that I've been bothered to look for it much) and things are starting to get a bit wild round those parts. No way my DH would ever comment on it let alone upset me over it!

shouldnthavesaid · 09/04/2014 21:03

And yes, go back to the GP and ask for a gynae/dermatology referal if nothing improves. Have similar myself - including two clitoral ones - but thankfully nothing's reached the abscess stage yet.

AnyFucker · 09/04/2014 21:04

Women really stay with men like this ?

Wow.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 09/04/2014 21:07

Fucking a to all the knob comments. None of his business. (And wouldn't be as he wouldn't even be in same room as my fanjo ever)
Bath, Epsom salts ( not too much, a spoonful) and mag sulph if it's not inside. I had bartholins for a few years and they were grim.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 09/04/2014 21:08

Can you send him the shaving / abscess links and show him this thread OP?

TheGrassIsSinging · 09/04/2014 21:09

Thats a real horrible thing to say. Dickhead!

Bogeyface · 09/04/2014 21:10

Zombies it wouldnt change his opinion that the OP ought to shave, because he wants her to and he cares more about his wants than her health. The man is a maggot.

I would send him links to rentals in the local area and show him the door, but thats just me.

DownstairsMixUp · 09/04/2014 21:12

The digs about how I choose to keep MY pubic hair would do my head in. I would seriously make it clear that is not on, it's absolutely none of his business how you maintain down there and yes others are right, shaving would actually increase the risk of this happening more. Sorry you are with a dickbag

michellestub1965 · 09/04/2014 21:14

Do you have folliculitis? My son had a hugh abscess in his groin which he had to go into hospital and be operated on.
He now has to have long term antibiotics. I hope you feel better soon

SauvignonBlanche · 09/04/2014 21:15

What an arse!

michellestub1965 · 09/04/2014 21:17

I wonder if you have folliculitis? My son had a Hugh abscess in his groin. He had to go into hospital and have a general anasthetic he had an open wound which the district nurse came in everyday to pack it.
He is now on long term antibiotics
Do hope you feel better soon

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