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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed with my dh regarding vaginal abscess? Might be a bit tmi sorry

155 replies

MoveYourArmsLikeHenry · 09/04/2014 20:44

Last year I had the most horrendous 2 weeks caused by an abscess on my vulva. It was agony :( I couldn't walk from the pain and antibiotics didn't take effect until later.

The doctor said it was ready to be drained but there's no point draining it as it will drain naturally very soon and be better for healing if it's left alone. This resulted in the abscess very painfully bursting all over my leg 4 days later and me having to be cleaned by a nurse every day to stop further infection, and for the first few days having to change the gauze every hour because it bled right through. Definitely not better for me :(

Anyway I now have another fucking one:( I am in so much pain, but again they won't drain it :( the doctor said abscesses can be caused by a hair follicle becoming infected, amongst other things.

lying in bed sobbing about how sore it is, dh turns round and says "it's your own fault, you never shave. If you shaved it wouldn't happen"

I am livid. He goes on and on about shaving that area. It's my choice not to and he hates it. Now he's using this as an excuse to torture me about it. :( Angry:( Angry

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 09/04/2014 22:51

Please don't google hydradenitis supprativa.

goodasitgets

Really sorry for you, my dh has one atm. I can't begin to imagine how awful it is for anybody with this complaint.
It is awful even imagining the pain of seaweed packing.

OP. Go to A&E, tell them you have heard of hydro...... and get them to treat you, asap. You must not delay because this is poison in your system.

morethanpotatoprints · 09/04/2014 22:53

TEA TREE OIL...... Turmeric mixed with root ginger, coconut oil, pepper, and those black seeds (on top of bread)

MeepMeepVroooom · 09/04/2014 22:58

Wishing your husband a life time of penis abscesses.

Sorry your feeling rubbish OP I don't really have any advice but there seems to have been some good ideas already posted.

MinecraftAteMyWorld · 09/04/2014 22:59

You poor thing. Sounds horrible.

I can't believe how unpleasant and unkind you dickwad of a husband is being. And ignorant. He is wrong.

Hairlessness is a trend not an obligation.

HeadfirstForTHiddy · 09/04/2014 23:05

Wow. So you're in agony and he is using this to persuade you to shave for his own personal gratification?

I would throw him out and I'm being serious. What a prick. A prick that has watched too much porn.

Gurnie · 09/04/2014 23:08

That sounds absolutely hideous for you. I've had 2 dental abcesses which made me so ill. God, it's agony. Your h is being really vile. What a shallow, unsupportive way to behave.

defineme · 09/04/2014 23:13

I'm so sorry. Your dh is supposed to treat you kindly and he isn't. You've got an immature and probably porn fixated arse for a husband. Does he have any redeeming features because I'd find this difficult to come back from. Why would you want to have sex with someone that says things like that?

Damnautocorrect · 09/04/2014 23:15

I've had them they are incredibly painful so I sympathise it's very painful.
One that needed doc treatment I was told was due to shaving so your dh is talking out his bottom.

niceboots · 09/04/2014 23:20

OMG, his comment is unbelievable! Angry

You must be in so much pain. Deal with getting better soon by whatever means and with him later . Yikes.

LittleBrassPig · 09/04/2014 23:23

A - please, please go to A&E. You need medical attention - the abcess needs draining and you need antibiotics - and your GP sounds like an utter arse.

B - your DH is an arse. Tell him to shave all his pubes off and then enjoy watching him scratch himself stupid for the next week or so as the stubble comes through. One can only hope for an infected ingrowing hair....

mineofuselessinformation · 09/04/2014 23:25

A pp has beaten me to it with suggesting he shaves.... After all, if it's so good for you and all that.
However, do make a point of telling him you'll do it - with a cut-throat razor. Git.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 09/04/2014 23:26

"Oh and really nice that he is using this awful time to try and coerce you into shaving for his benefit."

This, squared.

MichaelFinnigan · 09/04/2014 23:33

I've given up waxing since getting numerous ingrowing hairs. Fuck that for a stupid fashion. I'm happily au naturel. Hope you feel better soon op, painful private stuff is soul destroying.

AlternativeMoniker53 · 09/04/2014 23:33

He really does sound like an habitual wanker, YANBU, where has he got this idea of hairless females from if not, as many above have said, porn? He's an utter selfish, unfeeling idiot to use your pain to push his sexual preferences. Is he anywhere near bring able to understand this? To empathise? If not I'd seriously think about getting shot of him, he's really not a keeper.

YellowDinosaur · 09/04/2014 23:37

Abscesses need surgical drainage. I'm a surgeon so I know a bit of what I'm talking about. If it's definitely an abscess rather than cellulitis (infection in the tissues without a collection of pus) get to a and e so you can see someone who knows what they're talking about. In fact even if it bursts unless it's very small and superficial it needs formally opening up and cleaning out or it might just come back.

Hope you get it sorted.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 09/04/2014 23:42

If (and I say IF) chances of an abscess can be higher from tugging on hair follicles, (and clearly shaving will only make in growths etc worse) would trimming a little help?
That is completely not apropos your husband, who is being an arsehole.
And I also agree, your GP seems to be in major la la land or cost cutting mode. Some GPs do seem a bit gung-ho about other people's pain Hmm If a surgeon on this thread has a different view then I dare say A&E might too...

RevoltingPeasant · 09/04/2014 23:47

OP are you okay? I am worried you have not come back.

And listen to YellowD, who is much better qualified than your H to advise on what to do.

for the love of God don't tell me he's a consultant gynae or something

Darkesteyes · 09/04/2014 23:48

What a wankstain How lovely of him to use the IMMENSE PAIN you are in to try and get you to do something for his own sexual gratification. I have NEVER waxed or shaved down there in my life (and ive got the full dark bush partly due to Mediterannean heritage) and I have never had an abscess down there. If it was caused by not shaving A and E would be overrun with both women AND men presenting with this every night.!!
Im almost 41 and have NEVER shaved down there and NEVER will. A man who wants to sleep with me accepts it or can fuck off.

macdoodle · 09/04/2014 23:49

Get to A+E so you can see someone who knows what they're talking about , jeez because a GP doesn't . You have no idea what it is or looks like but are happy to slag the GP off an advice A+E. Charming. And it's our fault A+E can't cope. Typical surgeon ie an idiot. OP if you're in a lot of pain call ooh or go back to your GP tomorrow.
Oh and your (DH) is a knob, bit like a surgeon.
COI may be a GP

macdoodle · 09/04/2014 23:50

Sorry that was to yellowdinosaur bit slow.

PatrickStarisabadbellend · 09/04/2014 23:50

I used to suffer from those all the time a few years back. I feel your pain! Hope you get better soon.

Darkesteyes · 09/04/2014 23:51

Revolting I saw a thread on the feminism board once where someone posted that a midwife or practice nurse that they knew personally (cant remember which) was repulsed by women who were unshaved Sad Angry

Jakadaal · 09/04/2014 23:51

Ask him to have some manscaping by waxing or threading ... Even better offer to do it for him yourself - that should shut him up especially as you head towards him with tweezers to get any stragglers Shock

RevoltingPeasant · 09/04/2014 23:53

That's awful Darkest.

Mac is that really helping the op?

morethanpotatoprints · 09/04/2014 23:59

macdoodle

If you are referring to my post, the doctor was happy to admit he didn't know how to treat, I didn't say he did nothing about it. It is still afaik a rare condition. A general practitioner can't know everything about every condition and disease.
We thoroughly respect our GP and now he knows what he is dealing with and has consultants reports he is invaluable to dhs treatment.