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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be stunned at how deluded some parents are.

189 replies

Moonfacesmother · 06/04/2014 20:53

Ds is in reception and occasionally I speak to one of the mothers of a little boy in the other reception class. She's very nice but since September I've had chapter and verse about how her ds is reading chapter books and writing at the level of an 8 year old but the school are useless and have been keeping him on really easy books, not sending him with the group of children who do phonics with year 1 etc.

I must admit I was confused by this as couldnt understand why if he was as far ahead as she said the school hasn't recognised this. Anyway I listened, sympathised and suggested things that she could maybe do (mainly speak to the teacher or head teacher).

Last week I went on a trip with ds's school and this little boy was there. Whilst there the children were given a few tasks and a couple of them included doing some drawing and a bit of writing if they were able. This little boy is mark making, he wasn't able to write his name etc. this is fine, it's reception - my ds isn't much different I was just a bit taken aback. I suppose I expected him to be writing War and Peace. I feel a bit sorry for him and also for playground mum. And also for the teachers as I know the mum has been in numerous times about the fact she doesn't feel the school have him at the right level.

I must remember in future to take what people say with a pinch of salt.

OP posts:
littlemisssarcastic · 06/04/2014 20:57

I'm stunned at how deluded many people are in general, not just parents.
I'm sure the school have dealt with this issue over and over.

TruffleOil · 06/04/2014 21:00

Avoid. I have some of these insane people in my life, but there's one particular mother who is Offender Number One and everyone avoids her, it's really cringey. I had drinks with her one night (our children were in the same class at this time) and she said to me, emphatically:

I know for a fact that Oscar is at the very top of the class in both math and English, because the teacher told me this, so I was just shocked that he was not put into extension blah blah blah and we discussed Oscars omission from the extension group all night. I was yawning, checking my phone, being so rude, dying, getting up to go to the bathroom, and she would not let it go.

Her lack of self-awareness is just breathtaking.

TruffleOil · 06/04/2014 21:00

Oh, and I had to go home & pay for a babysitter. I felt so bloody cheated.

giannna · 06/04/2014 21:02

Urgh, I can't stand parents like that.

There was a mum when my eldest DD was at infant school who just went on and on and on about how terribly advanced her little Jemima was, and how the school wasn't stretching her, and how she had to go into the school most days to demand extra work. She also used to make put down comments about the other children. Vile woman.

hiddenhome · 06/04/2014 21:03

ha, ha, I knew a woman who reckoned her two year old could fully dress and undress himself and he knew the entire alphabet. She was always going on about his achievements.

ThreeLannistersOneTargaryen · 06/04/2014 21:04

Sometimes reading and writing can develop at different rates. DS2 could read very early, so in Reception had a reading age of 8 but was unable to hold a pencil easily or form letters. Even now (age 12) he still can barely legibly, despite plenty of intervention.

Original poster
Moonfacesmother · 06/04/2014 21:04

That does sound painful.
At least I haven't socialised with her.

I try to avoid her as last time I spoke to her she quizzed me incessantly as to what level ds was reading. I knew it was a level higher than her ds (i cant understand why theyve sent him home with level X when he's capable of reading proper books etc) so didn't dare say in case it tipped her over the edge and she flew into a book level induced rage on the playground.

OP posts:
PansOnFire · 06/04/2014 21:05

Teacher here, nothing shocks me anymore.

Original poster
Moonfacesmother · 06/04/2014 21:05

Yes but she's also told me his writing 'at the level of an 8 or 9 year old'

OP posts:
TruffleOil · 06/04/2014 21:07

People are just clueless about their own children, they truly lose perspective.

hiddenhome · 06/04/2014 21:08

You should tell her stuff just to see her face. Tell her your ds has been accepted into Mini Mensa Grin

YouTheCat · 06/04/2014 21:08

I feel sorry for her kid. Imagine the pressure she's going to put on him. Sad

QueenofLouisiana · 06/04/2014 21:08

Yep. Gotta love parents like that...goes along with"but they not show you how brilliant they are because your lessons are boring/ the curriculum isn't demanding".

Yes love, that's exactly by your "level 6" mathematician is scraping a level 3 on the SATs papers.

fluffyraggies · 06/04/2014 21:09

Oooh my MIL and SIL are a bit guilty of this with DN1.

It's cringy - but to get through these discussions i tell myself they are just proud.

On MILs part she has eased up with this considerably now she has other GC. It's obvious that DN1 is the same as all her other GCs and it would be too daft to suggest they're all genius' after all Grin

EverythingsDozy · 06/04/2014 21:09

My nephew is in year one (age 6) but goes in a year two class for maths. His teacher has had someone complain that her son isn't in year two for maths Hmm

LetTheRiverAnswer · 06/04/2014 21:19

Parents evening was a real revelation to me. From what I've heard other parents saying their children are up to, I thought ds must be really quite behind. Apparantly not. He can't do half the things other parents say their dc can, so it doesn't add up somewhere!

Greythorne · 06/04/2014 21:21

One mother kept going on about how her 6 yo was reading chapter books, how Harry Potter was next on his reading agenda, how he was bored in school.

I volunteered to go into school to hear the children in a different class to my daughter's read. Her son massively struggled to read one of the easier Songbirds books.

Pipbin · 06/04/2014 21:28

I've had parents come in and complain that I'm giving their child books that are too easy and brandish a story book from home that they can read.
The problem is that they can't read them, they've just memorised the text. If you show them the words away from the illustration then they can't read them.
And who told her that her child was writing at an 8 year old level?

Original poster
Moonfacesmother · 06/04/2014 21:28

Um. I think that's what she decided herself!

OP posts:
Aeth1992 · 06/04/2014 21:32

Oh yes. I have a video of my gorgeous 4yo "reading" the gruffalo. Except he isn't. Definitely memorised it. Amazing to me as his mum, proud of his recall skills but Reading? No no no no.

Marcipex · 06/04/2014 21:36

We had a mother who insisted constantly that:

her DS was a genius and we didn't understand him. No, he was rather behind and rather disruptive, not unusual in any other way. She was furious when he was given extra help with literacy.

Her dd was extremely, massively clever, and we must have deliberately held her back so as not to upset the other children.

And this mother was a teacher! We really ran out if things to say to her.

Just when you think you've heard it all...

MammaTJ · 06/04/2014 21:42

My 8 year old is barely writing at the level of an 8 or 9 year old!

Her teacher says she is doing ok though!

I have met this level of delusion before but generally smile and nod!

MaryWestmacott · 06/04/2014 21:44

Aeth - I remember DS at 3 'reading' me the gruffalo, it was very sweet, he even did the animal voices the same as DH does. It was entirely from memory!

pianodoodle · 06/04/2014 21:49

ha, ha, I knew a woman who reckoned her two year old could fully dress and undress himself and he knew the entire alphabet.

My two year old girl can do both of these things - she might not have been lying... I don't go on about it to people though so the similarity ends there!

OP YANBU

WooWooOwl · 06/04/2014 21:49

Every class seems to have a parent like this unfortunately!