To be stunned at how deluded some parents are.

[Moonfacesmother]

Ds is in reception and occasionally I speak to one of the mothers of a little boy in the other reception class. She's very nice but since September I've had chapter and verse about how her ds is reading chapter books and writing at the level of an 8 year old but the school are useless and have been keeping him on really easy books, not sending him with the group of children who do phonics with year 1 etc.

I must admit I was confused by this as couldnt understand why if he was as far ahead as she said the school hasn't recognised this. Anyway I listened, sympathised and suggested things that she could maybe do (mainly speak to the teacher or head teacher).

Last week I went on a trip with ds's school and this little boy was there. Whilst there the children were given a few tasks and a couple of them included doing some drawing and a bit of writing if they were able. This little boy is mark making, he wasn't able to write his name etc. this is fine, it's reception - my ds isn't much different I was just a bit taken aback. I suppose I expected him to be writing War and Peace. I feel a bit sorry for him and also for playground mum. And also for the teachers as I know the mum has been in numerous times about the fact she doesn't feel the school have him at the right level.

I must remember in future to take what people say with a pinch of salt.

I'm enjoying how this has turned into a 'my child is so gifted that they were reading War and Peace in their cots' thread, when it actually started as a 'don't you hate people who do that' thread.

Kind of related though Pipbin.

I hate hearing in rl people going on about their wonderful kids who do x, x and x. It's boring. However, I equally hate hearing people scoffing at children who are genuinely gifted or talented, as it just looks like sour grapes tbh.

I would never speak about ds1 as I have on here in rl. It's sort of related to the topic though.

I was a very bright lad when I was at school (sadly, this has not translated into wealth and success in later life...).

In junior school, there was another boy in my class who had a very academic father, who was desperate for me and his son to become friends. I think he thought I would drag his son's grades up somehow and he really tried to force a friendship, inviting me over to play Scrabble with his son, that sort of thing. We were 9 years old FFS, and just wanted to run around outside or play Top Trumps.

About a year later, he left the school, I hope he was alright.

Back in my day, my parents didn't speak about me to their friends - except maybe to complain. They were busy talking about other things. I think there's wisdom in that.

Parents deceive themselves on other things. I remember when word got round that the class thug in ds' class was leaving, all the other parents were on the verge of holding a party because most of our children bore the scars and bruises of encounters with her. And then her mother announced that she was taking her dd out because of the way she was being bullied ...

delusion

a fixed false belief that is resistant to reason or confrontation with actual fact

By definition people who are deluded cannot be persuaded by evidence to the contrary. They cannot help it.

Therefore

YABU

OP yanbu. I think every class has someone like this.

My Dcs (large) primary school has a 2 classes in each year. When our eldest Dcs were in Y1 one mum made herself very unpopular by putting about a rumour that the two classes were in fact streamed into a 'higher functioning' class (the one her son was in) and an 'average class' (the one my dd was in). She even insisted that the 'average class' weren't taught phonics and had more teaching assistants than average to help them. When she was challenged she stuck to her story and told her she had been unofficial told all this by the headmaster.

All obviously utter bollocks. She went round the whole year asking them what reading level their child was on. I pleaded that I didn't know. Her face was a picture one day when my dd's friend/classmate innocently got out her reading book of 'How to train your Dragon'.

A few years later she's calmed down a lot although people still try and avoid engaging her about school work.

DS is 3 and is behind. He'd rather be running into walls then learning!

DS2 is on the way and DP has already said what he plans to do (from birth) to get him ahead.... He may become that person at the school gates.

Ps DS was late learning to talk. Only really started happening at 2 1/2. Now he doesn't stop. Any idea how to make him mute again?

How do you know your kid is bright? Ds can blag that he is very bright, he has the gift of the gab and a stunning smile. He may be. I can't tell. He's my pfb, of course I think he is wonderful, just like all the other mums in the class. I assume that he's doing okay. Why do mums assume that he is bright when perhaps he's just comfortable?

When I went to parent's evening I decided my son was destined to be a doctor. Not because he was particularly bright but because his writing was fucking awful.

You can be simply bored with something without it being " sour grapes".

Other people's belief in the giftedness of their kids can just lead to such boring conversations.

This thread has just become a giftedness show case, come and brag about your kids!

I think it's extremely smart to just make a policy of not talking about your children when out to dinner with friends. Just don't do it.

O these people are so annoying! I love ds more than anything but no 2 year old ever solved the world's problems and there's a he'll of a long way to go before I can say I've really done my job!

I know so many of those people though! One day I said ds is obsessed with numbers... Not in a bragging way but because he was actually speaking in numbers... Another mom brushed me off by replying 'oh ds was like that... He can count to 20 now' her ds is 9 months older lol but she said it like nobody else had ever counted to 20.

Ds is also a few months older than most of his friends and this seems to annoy some of the moms when their kids aren't at his stage of whatever. Ehh... It's not a bloody race! I guarantee they'll all be counting to 20 at some point!

Deluded parents have absolutely nothing on deluded grandparents. Some of my friends drive me batty with their boasts about their (decidedly average in my opinion) grandchildren.

I, on the other hand, know that my two grandsons are the most intelligent, most handsome, most gifted, most socially well adjusted, most genius, most adorable little buggers in the universe.

I often wonder if people think I'm deluded when I tell them my ds learned to ride a bike when he was 22 months old. It really seems unlikely but he really did.

I probably did go on about it a bit if I'm honest, but it is quite an achievement I don't mention so much now he is older but if it comes up in relevant conversation I might drop it in... Well would you believe me?

havetochangemynameforthis I probably wouldn't care enough to form an opinion. I don't find child milestones interesting. I remember being totally obsessed with them when my children were babies and toddlers so I would indulge you, but I would be bored with the conversation.

Fair enough As I said I freely admit I probably did go on about it a bit at the time...

I am airways stunned that any parent gives a flying fuck about the abilities/achievements of other kids.

My 4 were distinctly average academically but are kind, funny, sensible and popular.

None to my knowledge have ever read war and peace and neither have we. Watched the film though and that bored the pants of us.

haveto I would assume you were either not drunk enough or needed to slow down but either way I
Would pour you a large glass.

I care about my good friend's children's achievements, but I want them to stop talking about it before I get bored.

I work in a school. I'd be over the moon if all parents had that level of interest in their kids education. The reality is that there are many many more parents who are disinterested/ unable to support their child's education and that's a lot more limiting.

I save my comments about my children's achievements for the grandparents. They're the only people who actually want to hear about DS2's reading.

I did remark to a friend whose child is a month younger than ds2 but across the school year boundary that ds2 has learned loads since starting school. But more in a 'oh I didn't bother doing anything beforehand either, but he seems to have learned loads at school. He can read now. You'll be saying the same thing this time next year' kind of way. Rather than the 'my child is a prodigy and better than yours' kind of way.

There's be no point in pretending that he was a prodigy as my friend knows DS2 is just a normal child who gets over excited and forgets to go to the toilet at her house sometimes.

havetochangemynameforthis to be honest, I'd think you were looking back with rose tinted glasses. Like my SIL who told me the other day that my niece was potty trained by 2 (yet I clearly remember going on holiday when niece was 2:8, and niece was just out of nappies when out of the house, and wet herself when we couldn't get her to a toilet in 30 seconds, so while she may have been able to use the potty at 2, it wasn't what I'd call potty trained!)

PS I'm darned proud of what DD can do, and do tell interested parties about random things she's learned. Mainly because she was slightly slow to meet most gross motor milestones- which let's face it are the most obvious ones to see- so I had to reassure myself/family/parents at groups etc that she's fine and just concentrating on other milestones for the time being!