To be stunned at how deluded some parents are.

[Moonfacesmother]

Ds is in reception and occasionally I speak to one of the mothers of a little boy in the other reception class. She's very nice but since September I've had chapter and verse about how her ds is reading chapter books and writing at the level of an 8 year old but the school are useless and have been keeping him on really easy books, not sending him with the group of children who do phonics with year 1 etc.

I must admit I was confused by this as couldnt understand why if he was as far ahead as she said the school hasn't recognised this. Anyway I listened, sympathised and suggested things that she could maybe do (mainly speak to the teacher or head teacher).

Last week I went on a trip with ds's school and this little boy was there. Whilst there the children were given a few tasks and a couple of them included doing some drawing and a bit of writing if they were able. This little boy is mark making, he wasn't able to write his name etc. this is fine, it's reception - my ds isn't much different I was just a bit taken aback. I suppose I expected him to be writing War and Peace. I feel a bit sorry for him and also for playground mum. And also for the teachers as I know the mum has been in numerous times about the fact she doesn't feel the school have him at the right level.

I must remember in future to take what people say with a pinch of salt.

I was super bright and it looks like my daughter is following BUT post uni I've had a tough ride and it's not led to success, just dissatisfaction with where I've ended up compared to where I "ought" to have done.

I've genuinely no idea how to guide her as she grows. I can help her academically but no idea re: careers or life skills. I'm the typical brains but no common sense. Great right up until finals... and life's really not worked out!

I want my children to be happy and I'm not sure pushing them academically iswhere its at. Id like her to be more well rounded than I was and some idea of careers and direction.

Goodness you sound like me. Similar worries too! I reckon they have to find a job they love doing, first and foremost. So busy doing exams I forgot that part!

The weirdest one I had was a parent with a very bright DD (5) who lacked social skills. Mum knew that DD was both very bright and lacking in social skills. She would spend lots of time paying lip-service to the idea of keeping her on the same levels as her peers and working on developing her social skills etc etc ad infinitum but the only time she used to kick off something rotten was if DD missed her extended writing session with the next class up. Was all a complete sham. The DSis was also bright but a holy terror, she was fab!

I always laugh when we get the class bear home from school and look through the book. DS2 is in reception. They're supposed to draw a picture and write something in the book about what they did.

The bear in my class came back last year having been to the pub and had to sleep in the next day because he was hungover!

I guess reception age is when you get an idea of where your dc is sitting amongst their peers.

I find it odd that some expect their dc to do significantly better than they did. Mine seem to be very similar to me and dh in ability. I don't know if that's true of most people.

I'd rather my dc just learn to love finding out new things, will pick up a book and get excited by the content. I completely lost that ability at school. I crammed and got reasonable marks. But I wish I was more like dh who has a lifelong love of learning new things, will just pick up non fiction books and build on his knowledge.

It wasn't a case of checking up on him gen
They were in fairly small groups so it was pretty hard not to notice what they were all doing!

The Shakespeare thing - older two, 8 and 6, have done Romeo and Juliet at school and youngest in reception mid summer night dream. We have set of child versions of the play from reading age about 7-8 that eldest is starting to read.

shakepare collection

childrens shakepare collection

So perhaps not as impressive as it initially sounds?

My DD won a competition at a literature festival. It was for original writing. She won in the 9+ category when she was 5.

Of course school put it in the newsletter (it was writing done in school).

In the playground I got "oh did they give her a "special prize" for taking part" and "they must have let her win so she didn't feel upset".

Which is why I never, NEVER discuss her achievements with other parents at the school.

Ha ha ha bless. Take heed op this happens in parenthood from the final push out of the womb until the grandchildren arrive.

Smile and nod, smile and nod.

I took my 11plus and passed it at nine. I also (unbeknownst to me at the time) got a scolarship for school, where I would have had to board.
I just thought at the time I was taking an exam and when it was suggested (at age eight) that I should go to this new school I was distraught at the thought of leaving my family, so I ended up taking the 11 plus at age nine and going to the local Grammar School.

It was awful for me I couldn't cope with my classmates being so much older than me, they all made fun of me and bullied me because I was younger than them. It was very hard for me and I would never recommend putting a child in a group to be educated with adolescents who are not of the same age.

It all evens out when you are older, I was desperate to leave school at sixteen, as I'd had enough of studying and my fellow pupils.

The effect of this all, is that I am the only one of my siblings not to have a degree!

Be warned do not push your children, let them enjoy their childhoods.

oldwoman, I had the opposite experience.
I was a very bright child - I jumped a class at 6, and then the teachers suggested to my parents either to make me jump another class, or to put me in a school for "gifted" children. They refused.
As a result, all I remember from my school years is the boredom. Oh, and the bullying because I got stellar marks without working. And not learning to make efforts because it was never necessary.
I homeschool my children. I don't want them to grow into lazy adults the way I did.

I was a sickly child, and was taught to read early in self-defence by my parents. Apparently, a party piece was giving a 4 year old the Guardian and sniggering as he read out the editorial saying "Daddy waddat mean", I could comfortably read Biggles...

I arrived at infant school and we were asked "Can anyone read... I did the "me miss, me miss" bit, and was was given a Janet & John... I read through the first few pages and the ridiculous teacher said "Oh, OMC, you can't read, really, can you?"

I said "Oh, out loud miss? HereisJanethereisJohntheyhaveaballtheballisred..." Cue collapse of all parties. I was also very articulate and had a bit of a Home Service accent (rather RP) as much of my English had been learned form the radio. The reading and the speech have generally helped me throughout my life, save only that the accent does put some hackles up.

Generally, I feel parents ought to give their own kids the extra work needed. I'd read many of the classic works before I went to boarding school... which didn't hurt either.

Bullying teachers for extra work doesn't sound quite the thing.

I'm the complete opposite, when someone comments on how clever/advanced my eldest is I have to interject with yes but he still wets himself/writing is poor etc etc!

Just don't do this within his hearing, hey? My mother always, always talked down our achievements, and it left us feeling like nothing we ever did was any good.

I have boys at either end of the ability scale, FiscalCliff

DS1 knew his letters at 2 and taught himself to read at 3. DS2 is only just beginning to learn at almost 8.

Neither is particularly adept at getting dressed :o

My ds knew all his letter sounds and names and his numbers to 100 at 3. But he's severely autistic and is non verbal. His special school were amazed that he could actually read. But that's as far as it went. His reading age is probably about 7. I will always be immensely proud that he can do these things even though he is now 19.

Dd was the first independent reader in her class because she liked reading. She's now 19 and hasn't picked up a book that isn't manga in years. She did well in Primary and it kind of tailed off a bit once she went to secondary, though she got reasonable gcses and A levels. She struggles with social things and has Aspergers.

I've never been one for boasting about my kids - telling them how proud I am, yes, but not boasting.

In 15 years working in, and volunteering in, schools, I have only come across one truly gifted child. He was (and probably still is) amazing at science and maths and out stripped all the teachers when it came to computers.

My three year old can also "read" the gruffalo - I'm just in awe of his memory! (And worried for the future as Dh is always recalling things from waaaay back and now I think ds will be the same and I stand no chance against the two of them )

Woah, that thread moved on a bit from when i started writing!

Ds could say the alphabet backwards when he was three. It has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with me trying to keep him amused at a bus stop.

Apparently he is a bit bright. I remember the explosion when I accidentally let slip the reading book he was on to one of the yummy mummies. It turned out he was a few stages ahead of her snookums and it was ALL WRONG.

Then there was the time when I watched in horror as another little snookums was being frantically coached in maths. I wondered where I was going wrong. I've now decided that the school know what's best (more or less - good school) and I can leave them to it.

MIL reckons DN is the next Alberta Einstein. It is very annoying as DN is now very aware of her own 'cleverness', lovely girl but I do worry that her attitude will do her no favours in the future.

Both of my DD's have done certain things earlier than they 'should' but I wouldn't feel the need to tell other people, why would they care

My friends DD could read fluently in nursery school and I witnessed it with my own eyes, I was but her mum didnt go around telling people

There is a fine line between being deluded and just proud. I hope that I am in the latter camp. I am exceptionally proud of my dc. I am proud when they do well but I am equally as proud if they try hard.
I think it is a shame to push kids too far but I also want to provide them with as many opportunities as I can. I can only hope that they turn into well rounded individuals.

Madasfish
I am always telling him how clever he is at home, but decided I needed to rein in in a bit when he started going round saying hi I am X and I'm a really clever boy and when dd in response to teacher telling her she was clever said in a sad voice "yes but I'm not as clever as my brother!
Things is he lacks social skills so in reception and yr1 it was a hinderance as the other boys were running round being silly and he was sat in the corner reading books. Now they're yr2 he helps them with the longer words and they have all become interested in the things he has always been interested in - space, star wars, lord of the rings etc.
I was moved up a year in primary school then repeated yr6 as the secondary school wouldn't let me move up, it was very isolating as I never really fitted in either class.

Bullying teachers for extra work doesn't sound quite the thing

I disagree with this (well, not 'bullying' as you shouldn't bully). I do think that all teachers/schools should look to meet additional needs of children, be they sn, or being particularly advanced generally, or in one area.

Ds1 is 6, in Year 1. He is pretty average in terms of Reading, writing etc, on target with the rest of the class. What he is not average at is maths, where he is genuinely gifted (I absolutely hate writing that as it makes me sound like the parent from the op, but it's true).

This has not been 'pushed' at all. He started counting things at 1, adding up piles of toys at 2 etc. At 6, in car entertainment for him on long trips is for me to 'ask him sums' to do in his head. Examples would be 657-559, 1069 + 358 etc. He will badger me and badger me to do this, and fire out the correct answer in about five seconds. He constantly asks me to 'teach him more maths' and we sit down a few times a week. We're currently using the simplest parts of the GCSE Bitesize website, and he's presently loving converting and then adding and taking away fractions.

I have had no help from the school whatsoever. What I have had is the raised eyebrow 'mmhmm' stare from the teacher, who told me that yes, she had recognised his ability, he is top of the class in maths and gets harder work as a result - he's now asked to complete worksheets with double figure sums

He is so, so bored in school when they do maths. He's started playing up and being disruptive periodically (always when it's maths time), and the teachers will pull me to one side to have a word at school end time and tell me that yes, he may find the work easy, but he still has to do it, and we're supposed to discipline him. IF he was having work at his level provided, there would be no issue.

You shouldn't be made to feel like a precious, pushy parent just for wanting a teacher to meet your childs needs, when they are so far outside 'the norm'.