To be stunned at how deluded some parents are.

[Moonfacesmother]

Ds is in reception and occasionally I speak to one of the mothers of a little boy in the other reception class. She's very nice but since September I've had chapter and verse about how her ds is reading chapter books and writing at the level of an 8 year old but the school are useless and have been keeping him on really easy books, not sending him with the group of children who do phonics with year 1 etc.

I must admit I was confused by this as couldnt understand why if he was as far ahead as she said the school hasn't recognised this. Anyway I listened, sympathised and suggested things that she could maybe do (mainly speak to the teacher or head teacher).

Last week I went on a trip with ds's school and this little boy was there. Whilst there the children were given a few tasks and a couple of them included doing some drawing and a bit of writing if they were able. This little boy is mark making, he wasn't able to write his name etc. this is fine, it's reception - my ds isn't much different I was just a bit taken aback. I suppose I expected him to be writing War and Peace. I feel a bit sorry for him and also for playground mum. And also for the teachers as I know the mum has been in numerous times about the fact she doesn't feel the school have him at the right level.

I must remember in future to take what people say with a pinch of salt.

See, that's what I think people think. I have friends who tell anecdotes and the child gets younger in every retelling! In my case though I have photographic evidence and everything!

And a plentiful supply of exclamation marks too, apparently!

Oh Lola I'm still creased up giggling about sick on a stick and white wine,does'nt sound very appetising though haha

Dd was what I called a "non linear developer". She was / is very very late on some things and very early on others.

I remember how hard it was seeing children not much more than half her age walking when she couldn't stand yet. I can also remember another mum's face at toddler group when dd shuffled over on her bum and started chatting away in sentences.

Ds currently seems to be far more average in all areas (except in being gorgeous and yummy!). I'm enjoying his development a lot more.

My DS is reading well at 3.5. I haven't mentioned it to any of my friends and don't plan to. Though sometimes you can't hide it, was chatting to a nursery mum in the car park and our sons were talking about their cars. My DS piped up 'that one's a nissan, look, n-i-s-s-a-n'. The other mum looked a bit .

I met a mum for the first time on sunday and it was about 2 mins into the conversation when she mentioned her 3 year old was reading. I didnt even say 'mine too'.

I'm glad of this thread though as i dont want to become 'one of those parents'. Though i will be interested to see how they handle an early reader in school. I'm happy enough if his reading slows a bit if they are working on other areas, like writing or drawing.

The other thing that has become clear on this thread is that whatever you do with a bright child, it'll be wrong!

Going back to the original post though - agree there are quite a lot of deluded parents out there. My mum used to do private tuition and roughly every other child she got was "incredibly gifted and not being encouraged by the school".

They generally weren't!

My DS is 9 and is very bright - he is a fantastic reader and in the top sets for all his subjects. On the other hand, he has social problems, very shy and had the child psychologist monitor him for suspected Aspergers.

My DD, who is 8 is also in the top for all her subjects and is a very talented dancer - I know she is (obviously - proud mum ) however all the other mums in her dance school have said the same to me. I never know how to reply without sounding smug as I don't want to be one of 'those' parents!

Great thread.

I used to be a substitute teacher in private schools in Mexico. When I opened up the marks book and saw that all the children had marks ranging from 8 to 10 (out of 10) I understood my friend's boasts about their children getting straight tens at school in the context that a private school, unless it is one of the top ones, cannot afford to fail students. I brought my daughter back to Ireland to put her in a public school where they could tell me the worst.

And yes, children develop at different speeds. The son of a friend of mine was always at the bottom of the class and wanted to leave school at 15, then he suddenly shot up to the top of the class and went on to get his Master's Degree.

But the fact of the matter is, when you look at how much a child learns from 0 to two years of age, is it any wonder that their parents think they are geniuses?

In some ways it's nice as I would rather hear someone be positive about their child than negative. But I agree it can go too far. I generally just look at them blankly whilst they boast and don't say anything. It eventually shuts them up. My success at school bears no relation to my success as an so I figure it will be the same for my children.

My mother is always telling me that my DD is a genius. I try to gently tell her that as far as I can see she's entirely average but she is having none of it! Thankfully she's not in a position to brag to anyone we know about it.

All children are non-linear developers. Child development is neither linear nor universal. It's an incredibly complex system with all manner of contextual factors at play

My DS is below average in some areas, average in some areas, and above average in some areas. Those areas can change, depending on circumstances/mood/effort/current interest. I'm just glad he's happy, enjoys school and isn't really struggling with anything much.

Some children get things quicker than others. Some adults get things quicker than others. That's true in all walks of life. People have different levels of intelligence and ability.

Obviously, it goes without saying really, my DS is much better at being below, on, and above average than all of your children are

I am an ex teacher there is no limit to how deluded people can be about their children. Most priceless example? In outraged tone : !"What do you mean he struggles with his maths skills, we are professionals"! WTAF ? I was also pilloried by a ranting parent who barged into the staffroom ranting because i dared to keep his child in at playtime for 5mins because his little darling had done sod all in the lesson except 'pretend' to keep falling of his chair and produced not one line of an exercise the rest of them even the less able, had finished. Strangely, i no longer teach and their are around a hundred more examples from parent evening and after school meetings that i could quote you !