To think mums that keep themselves to themselves a bit, at the school gates etc, are actually rather wise

[Blackmouse]

I don't mean, don't be friendly and chat about your day etc

I just mean some of these mums get sooooo involved in everything
Nights out, fb, school things
And it often leads to trouble
And so many of these friendships seem so fake
And involved ALOT of rivalry bitching completion
You stand there and listen to people chatting and none or listening to the other, they just want to talk about what they are doing, it's quite hilarious really they way they try to change the subject back onto themselves

I know I'm lucky as I live close to where I grew up so had family nearby and decent friends, friends it truly care about and that care about me

But I've distanced myself from a group I was getting into and boy it's a relief

Yes I agree. Best to keep a little distance

Yes, you're right. I've had over 12 years of this primary school malarky and I've always kept my distance whilst still being friendly.

Same with work. Keep colleagues as colleagues, not friends!

Yep - it's a jungle out there!

Absolutely.

Aye.

Yup, drop and run, pass the time of day when necessary- best policy.

iPod!
Chat to younger DCs
Smile
Ignore!!

Um how are people who didn't grow up in the area etc supposed to make friends then?

I think you naturally find/gravitate towards people you'll get on with. When my DCs were at primary school I must admit I did secretly laugh at some of the mums, it was so competitive. Dressed to the absolute 9s for the school run, standing round in little groups afterwards, fawning all over the headteacher...I remember 1 Easter my daughter made an Easter Bonnet out of wallpaper, glue and string, she stuck flowers all over it. When we got to the school there were hordes of parents bearing such elaborate, towering bonnets that they didnt even want their children to carry them into school, in case they dropped them. So ridiculous..even in a fun task they could have let their children do themselves, they just had to be over-competitive. My DD won, which was only right; she was the only one who'd made her own. Having said that the cliquey mums didnt bother me, there were 2 I got on well with and we're still friends to this day. Thats fine..its cool to be on hello & nodding terms with quite a few people, but there's no need to strive to be everyone's friend, I doubt thats possible anyway. Some of the mums, some were offish but thats just people for you, wherever you may be.

I agree. I've been going to my dc school for 8 years. Not 1 friend. Loads of people to chat too but not one friend. - it's very lonely...

I do that but not really from choice. Nearly of the fellow school mums come from different immigrant communities and very few speak English at all. When I have tried talking to some whose English is okay, they don't really understand me unless I modify their accents to be more like theirs. They form cliques based on the communities which they have come from. The few mums who do speak English nearly always ask me for childcare favours!

I hate the school run. Everyone is very clicky. Makes me feel like I'm 14 again.

Yes I totally agree im v lucky to live fairly close to where I grew up so have a good supply if family and real friends
I admit thats just luck

but I must say with these other school mums I would never tell anyone anything I wouldnt want repeated.

Yes theres always someone who constantly asks fir childcare favours but never offers to return the favour....
even when I was 35 weeks pregnant a certain childcareleach kept asking me to have her child because she had work and childcare issues.and our kids are not really even friends.

I had a good system . Take kid to school , kiss bye bye , go home/work then repeat in reverse later . All happy .

Ours is nothing like that, I am good friends with lots of the mums, some I knew from before (toddler groups, pre-school etc), some I've made friends with since the DCs started school, they are a really lovely bunch and a lot of the dads get on well too, not just the mums. There used to be one mum who was terrible for trying to manipulate people and turn them against each other, but she did the same with the staff and backed herself into such a difficult position that she ended up moving her DCs away, other than that they're great and I feel very fortunate to have landed amongst them.

So glad I don't have any of this. I would turn up seconds before the bell!

Everyone is very clicky

Clicky?

What? Like the beginning of West Side Story?

Oh

Go

Od to see people agree

Oh

Oh

Excuse my phone!!!!!!