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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my children sleep in their clothes?

259 replies

greenbananas · 03/04/2014 23:10

It's a bad habit I've got into while we have been having building work done. We spent about three weeks without a washing machine, heating or hot water. But now, children sleeping in clothes has become a kind of routine. Putting them in pyjamas seems like a pointless hassle, when they are far more comfortable just going to bed in whatever they are wearing (minus shoes, socks and anything bulky).

Obviously, I remove anything that is food-stained or dreadfully dirty. They are only 17 months and 5 years old, so they are not very smelly yet (although my 5 year old is a bit muddy sometimes).

My children are loved and cuddled, and have plenty of play activities and attention.

My instinct says that it's okay to save on washing and stress by letting them sleep in their clothes. But sometimes I wonder if I am being borderline neglectful.

What do you think? AIBU?

OP posts:
TheRealAmandaClarke · 05/04/2014 09:22

Yy shamoy
Very well put.

formerbabe · 05/04/2014 09:22

Doesn't everyone remember the kid at school who smelt?

Do you want that to be your child?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 05/04/2014 09:24

And "neglecting" to spend time sorting socks is not, in and of itself, a safeguarding issue btw

Some things can be seen as indicators of a problem. But they need to be occurring in conjunction with other things.

hotcrosshunny · 05/04/2014 09:28

I have read the whole thread shamoy

I also think it's grim wearing your pants for 24 hours. I change into clean pants for bedtime (not clean PJs as washed once or twice a week). But I do get quite hot and sweaty from running about, commuting etc etc etc.

MaryWestmacott · 05/04/2014 09:32

Yes, wearing day clothes to bed by itself isn't a big deal (other than being a bit minging) but is seen as an indicator that there's problems in the family. A child being bright and doing well at school will not automatically mean that the teachers/SS won't think there's any problems at home. They can and often are, worried about a child who's the most able and most polite in a class.

Personally, I think it's minging, and if you aren't able to give your DCs a bath/shower every day, then making sure they are in clean clothes - including bed clothes - becomes more important.

Nanny0gg · 05/04/2014 10:28

It's the thought of nice clean sheets (hopefully) with fairly grubby children (only hands and face washed?) and mucky clothes.

The bedding will be dirty much quicker.

Horrible, just horrible.

Nanny0gg

candycoatedwaterdrops · 05/04/2014 10:58

YABU. We lived on a building site for weeks on end. The dust and the muck made our clothes especially grubby. We felt dirty too.

differentnameforthis · 05/04/2014 11:24

TheRealAmandaClarke Grin

Trinity...odd socks, really? That's just daft.

My friend has a 8 & 10yr old. They are the same size (10yr old is small for age) and when she washes their uniform, there is a pretty good chance that they are wearing each others, as they are in the same school & she only labels the stuff with a surname.

And she NEVER matches socks. Ever. The constantly wear odd socks. I don't think it has ever been raised, and it certainly doesn't point to any kind of neglect.

differentnameforthis · 05/04/2014 11:24

walton - Dead skin and sweat . Still yuck So you change your bed every day, do you?

Bumpsadaisie · 05/04/2014 11:25

My kids wear the same PJs for a week! Is this unusual? They don't breakfast in them though and obviously if they smell or look dirty they are changed. But they seem fine for a week.

I don't wear anything at all in bed.

If four people in a family are wearing clean PJs every night that is 56 pieces of pyjama wear to wash a week! Do people really do this?!

differentnameforthis · 05/04/2014 11:26

formerbabe The ops kids are washed & in fresh clothes for school.

FreudiansSlipper · 05/04/2014 11:28

of course it is fine

This is how many people (not so much in this country) live like, their children are not loved or cared for any less than they are here

Ignore the professionals parents who feel the need to let others know how great they are

TrinityRhino · 05/04/2014 11:28

well I'm assuming that because they are already involved with me then the things I have to prove and do are things that people may be doing differently to what they like but they aren't noticed

According to them

my wearing odd socks is embarrassing my children
them wearing odd socks is neglect as I'm clearly not washing and sorting their clothes properly
my 7 and 8 year old should have their own clothes so they can be individuals and sharing clothes means they don't have their own identity
Also dd1 making her own food more than once or twice a week is neglect

differentnameforthis · 05/04/2014 11:31

I remember going to bed as a child and my mum had turned down my duvet corner, turned the bedside light on, put clean pyjamas on my pillow. It made me feel so cherished

And as I said, my mum did similar. I was bathed every night, clean pjs. Always had clean clothes for school, polished shoes. Immaculately turned out.

Yet my mother didn't love me. It was all about appearances, she couldn't stand us to have a hair our of place.

Don't be fooled by the cover. I felt far from cherished.

TrinityRhino · 05/04/2014 11:35

hmm very good point different

My children know they are loved
they feel loved.

All professionals involved with us agree that is true and its obvious the kids feel loved.

They are also achieving well at school and never have been in trouble

but those odd socks tut tut

LordPalmerston · 05/04/2014 11:37

It's not ok.

LordPalmerston · 05/04/2014 11:39

Trinity though you has big other issues that launched ss involvement though. Not just socks. Didn't you?

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 05/04/2014 11:41

Minging.

differentnameforthis · 05/04/2014 11:41

TrinityRhino Bloody hell! I don't see how those are even issues.

I'm sorry that you have to jump through those hoops & can where you are coming from regarding the op!

TrinityRhino · 05/04/2014 11:42

yes four years ago I did

now I don't

except my house isn't as tidy and organised as I would like due to ME and Fibromyalgia.

They left us alone but when dp died they jumped up out of the woodwork again.

differentnameforthis · 05/04/2014 11:43

My children know they are loved .. they feel loved.

That is the main thing, you can't be doing as poorly as SS think you are in that case Smile

TrinityRhino · 05/04/2014 11:44

btw dd1 is 14
I feel that her wanting to make her own omelette, pasta and sauce or pork loin, mashed tatties and veg sometimes as a good thing.

she is learning how to take care of herself

Oblomov · 05/04/2014 11:45

But I can't see how you are saving.
Clothes are clean? Put them in pj's. Then back in clothes. Neither need washing for quite a few days.
Why wouldn't you put them in pj's?

StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2014 11:45

bigkids, yes ikwym. It's like sending little children up to put themselves to bed. As a one off it's no big deal but in general you make the effort to take them up, tuck them in, read stories etc

TrinityRhino · 05/04/2014 11:46

SS even say that to me
They take them off to talk to them 'on their own so they can talk freely'
and the kids always say positive things apparently

dd1 is terrified of SS though after the first ever social worker walked into my house and said in front of dd1
'This house is not a suitable home for children, I could take them away from here just like that'

bastard, he doesn't work for SS anymore, I wonder why