to let my children sleep in their clothes?

[greenbananas]

It's a bad habit I've got into while we have been having building work done. We spent about three weeks without a washing machine, heating or hot water. But now, children sleeping in clothes has become a kind of routine. Putting them in pyjamas seems like a pointless hassle, when they are far more comfortable just going to bed in whatever they are wearing (minus shoes, socks and anything bulky).

Obviously, I remove anything that is food-stained or dreadfully dirty. They are only 17 months and 5 years old, so they are not very smelly yet (although my 5 year old is a bit muddy sometimes).

My children are loved and cuddled, and have plenty of play activities and attention.

My instinct says that it's okay to save on washing and stress by letting them sleep in their clothes. But sometimes I wonder if I am being borderline neglectful.

What do you think? AIBU?

No, I don't agree that younger kids need bathing every day, or that we all need clean pyjamas every night.

My nearly 13 year old DD showers every morning as she needs it, but my younger DD is completely fine with a bath/hair wash every other night.

My 2 will quite often sleep in a t-shirt/vest and pants, they're not big PJ fans, they get hot, PJs end up twisted. I don't insist on specific night wear, but they don't sleep in their actual clothes unless they've flaked out in the car or whatever, and even then I remove stuff like trousers/jumpers

just go to a launderette, you are on a slippery slope.

Cuddles is not enough.

Greenbananas I recogniss you from the allergy forum and you have been around for years. Certainly at least since my own childs allergies have started.

You have always come across (and still do on this thread) as a level headed, on tne ball, caring mother.

So you let them sleep in their clothes, as long as they have clean underwear and clean nappies, fed and changed in the morning and washed regularly then really, what can anyone here berate you for?

I guess sometimes people cant see the bigger picture, or think theres more to it then just what you have said.

I cant see the issue.

I would personally start up the PJ thing again for the only reason that Id worry about older DC going on a play date and announcing that he never has pyjamas and sleeps in his school uniform.

However, I have always cared too much what people think of me!

You have to do what makes things easier for you. End of.

Putting pj's on is not only part of a good routine, it is also a comfort. Even now I love to get into my pj's after a tough day or wgen I am tired or cold. I also love to bathe my babies and put tgem in clean pj's, there is nothing nicer!

YABU. A good bedtime routine and clean pj's/sheets play a huge part in helping a child feel happy, secure, warm and comfortable FFS.

Why isn't your DS changing from his uniform after school? That's a few more hours for it to get more grubby. He is 5 years old, it shouldn't be up to him if he wears pjs or not.

I think it's pretty disgusting actually and yes, a bit neglectful.

Water - nope, I can see the big picture and I don't think there is more going on and I still think the op is being lazy in this instance. As I said it is such a simple thing, there is no reason now not to do it. No matter what she is like as a mother in all other respects it is uncaring and very lazy to leave her dc to sleep in their school uniform.

Water - if there is nothing wrong with it why would it matter if dc went to a sleepover and said that?

I think it's a horrible thing to do...really lazy and slobby.

Your job as a mother is not just to give them cuddles...love is the most important thing but its not the only thing nor should it be used a cop out because you can't be bothered to change them and do the washing.

I don't see the harm in the odd night. But it's not a good habit to get into. Only takes a few minutes to undress and put pyjamas on if they aren't having a bath.

Seems lazy to me.

Like you say, OP, it's a bad habit. Maybe not neglect, but a bit lazy.
Snuggling down in clean sheets in clean jammies with a story is one of the pleasures of a secure childhood.

If you don't think anything is wrong with it why would you worry about it being said on a play date? Tbh if a child said that in my house I would wonder if the parents were struggling.

YY to jamas being comforting, clean jamas and sheets are one of life's best things.

I do think it's on the low end of neglectful
But I'm siure I do plenty of 'low level neglect' myself too

Of course it's a hassle getting kids ready for bed, being a good parent is a hassle. Not only should you be making sure your children are clean and well rested, you are also teaching them how to become independent and good self care routines.

I don't think you are disgusting or lazy. Don't think I dare admit I may occasionally allow the same here.

I don't think its neglectful, but it is lazy and I would never do this.

Then again, we all do things others never would im sure

mine go to bed in clothes... as they are warmer than pyjamas. dd wears pjs and fleece and sleepsuit, ds wears the clothes he puts on after his bath. in summer they wear pjs. I do it to keep them warm and stop them getting hypothermia when they do not sleep under the covers.

underpants get changed.

You have to do what makes things easier for you. End of.

Totally disagree. So much of parenting is doing what's best for your children, not yourself. The easiest course of action is not necessarily the best.

Er, just to be clear, what op is describing is not neglect.

But I can't see how it helps. The little one might well make a mess of pjs, but surely it would be more laundry efficient to remove 5yos uniform and spot clean ready for the next day. His pjs should last a few nights.
But if it works for you and teeth and hands are cleaned and they actually go to bed rather than just falling where they stand IYSWIM, then it's nobody's business is it?

It's not what we do, but I think it really isn't a big deal. I think that a lot of what people do is really just about social conventions and while it isn't conventional to leave your children in day clothes to go to bed, it is fine to break some conventions when bringing up your children.

social services would see it as a big deal

they would also have an issue with lack of washing machine and hot water

DS sleeps in his clothes, and has done for over a decade (not the same outfit obviously!).

He has ASD related sensory issues, and he is uncomfortable with changing clothes until he's ready - could be 3/4/5 days and even then he'll change in the afternoon or not at all. He doesn't understand why people have sleeping outfits when PJ's are quite similar to the t-shirts and jogging pants he always wears anyway. I let him get on with it. For us it's a minor issue.

Sorry but it doesn't ring true that they wear clean clothes the next day, how would that make life easier for you or save on washing? I think you've changed your post because of the consensus on here that you are being unreasonable.

I agree with majority, it's lazy, unnecessary and unpleasant.

And having lived in a building site myself, yes it's hard but one pair of Jim jams isn't going to add to laundry and will only serve to keep school clothes clean.