to let my children sleep in their clothes?

[greenbananas]

It's a bad habit I've got into while we have been having building work done. We spent about three weeks without a washing machine, heating or hot water. But now, children sleeping in clothes has become a kind of routine. Putting them in pyjamas seems like a pointless hassle, when they are far more comfortable just going to bed in whatever they are wearing (minus shoes, socks and anything bulky).

Obviously, I remove anything that is food-stained or dreadfully dirty. They are only 17 months and 5 years old, so they are not very smelly yet (although my 5 year old is a bit muddy sometimes).

My children are loved and cuddled, and have plenty of play activities and attention.

My instinct says that it's okay to save on washing and stress by letting them sleep in their clothes. But sometimes I wonder if I am being borderline neglectful.

What do you think? AIBU?

Bedbugs occurred to me too. You get infestations of these horrors in two main ways. Either they come in from the neighbours when they need food or you pick them up on your clothes on public transport. If you wear your day clothes to bed you massively increase the risk of infesting your bedroom. When having your house treated for an infestation you cannot wear outside clothes in the bedroom to avoid contamination.Having experienced bedbugs I would never ever go to bed in anything I'd worn outside the home. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Hope that answers the question.

social services would see it as a big deal
What? Children with good school attendance, who are presented in clean, appropriate clothing, have a bedtime routine, suitable bedding, good dental hygiene. Because they don't wear pyjamas?
Nonsense.
It makes no practical sense to me to not have pjs. And it's not what I would do, but that doesn't make it a safeguarding issue.

We're the opposite here, as soon as everyone's in for the evening it's a race to get PJ's, onesies etc on to snuggle on the sofa in front the telly. PJs are a sign the business of the day is done and we can relax.
However, each to their own, there are bigger things in life to worry about.

I think yabu and I'm surprised at the number of people on this thread saying their children regularly sleep in their clothes. My children are not bathed every night and pyjamas are not fresh each day so I'm clearly not ott but to go to bed in an uncomfortable school uniform or tights seems grubby and unpleasant and sticky and horrible. Not at all how I want my children to be sleeping at night.

social services would see it as a big deal ... they would also have an issue with lack of washing machine and hot water

yes, because high on their priority is children who are fed, clean, schooled, but who are living in a house where building work is taking place, thus they have no running hot water (not so many moons ago water was heated over a fire in order to bathe, so I think op can manage to heat some water for a good wash) and no washing machine. If they cared about no washing machine, I would have been in trouble recently as mine broke down.

We have a single gas fire in our house, the bedrooms aren't heated. We make do with warm clothes & blankets on the bed. My girls never complain & they certainly are not neglected.

But I'll go ring SS on myself, shall I?

So much of parenting is doing what's best for your children, not yourself. The easiest course of action is not necessarily the best.

Sometimes it is when your house is full of building work, no hot running water & no washing machine. A break from routine while going through stressful changes in life isn't going to harm the children.

Snuggling down in clean sheets in clean jammies with a story is one of the pleasures of a secure childhood.

This was me in my childhood. It was far from secure, or even happy to be fair.

A good bedtime routine and clean pj's/sheets play a huge part in helping a child feel happy, secure, warm and comfortable FFS

Not really, they don't. Honestly.

Get on the phone to them now differentnameforthis

Seriously? I think you're being lazy. Yes you're having building work done but seriously, changing into a pair of pjs that they can wear for 3 nights say is hardly increasing your laundry load. Your son should not be going to bed in his school clothes.

As a teacher of 5 year olds, if I knew this was happening to a student of mine I would be required to ask you some questions about it. If you explained about the building work I would understand and be reassured, but would also expect you to start changing them again as soon as you could. I see on a daily basis how grubby a five year old's clothes can get, so I find the idea of them sleeping in them and then wearing them the next day a bit gross. As a parent of a 20month old, I also know how grubby his clothes get, and he rarely manages to wear anything for more than a day before washing.
I don't think SS would care much, but as a teacher and a parent I would think you were being lazy and feel that you weren't encouraging good hygiene habits with your DC.

Not read entire thread, sorry, but yep, I think it's lazy and a bit gross. And just because it's not 'as neglectful as xyz' doesn't mean this isn't also slightly neglectful.
It's just gross, lazy & I bet the teachers most certainly would be concerned if they knew.
Asking a 5 year old IF he wants to go to bed in his clothes is no reason for a child to go to bed in his clothes. FGS, you can't be bothered to do any washing yet here you are farting around on mumsnet.

if I knew this was happening to a student of mine I would be required to ask some questions about it
No you wouldn't.

You would be required to take an interest if the child was coming to school in dirty clothes, or clothes that were not appropriate for age/weather etc. or if you heard that a child had no "bedtime" and was left to fall asleep in front of the tv late at night, or if they weren't having their teeth cleaned, or looked tired from lack of sleep or seemed to be "self caring" beyond their developmental stage, having poor supervision. Or if they disclosed that they couldn't afford food or clothing or whatever.
Many scenarios would require questioning or attention. But sleeping in school uniform, on its own as an "issue" does not.
It might be there is more to this situation. But on what the op has said, you don't have to be asking anyone anything.

Ok. I concede that if a child said they always sleep in their clothes you might ask them about it.
But that's not the same thing as it being a safeguarding issue.
If a child has a bruise on their arm it could be prudent to ask them about it (assuming you know what you're doing) but once the incident is most rated to be consistent with the injury it's a non issue. Because children get bumps and bruises
Everyone's lives are not the same. It's important to be able to distinguish between benign difference and red flags.

most rated =demonstrated. Sorry.

5 year olds do get mucky especially if they cannot wipe their bums properly and, if a boy, drip wee around after going to the loo.

I give my ds a wipe with a flannel on the odd occasion he doesn't have a bath (when he's exhausted) for those reasons. He gets clean pants morning and evening. PJs are washed every few days unless covered in breakfast.

I lived in a neglectful household and what some would see as laziness really is neglectful.

Your job as a parent is to teach your children not just cuddle them. Teach them how to be clean is a start.

I suppose it could be seen as an indicator of neglect but obviously there would have to be some other concerns alongside it.
Be aware that if the oldest is going to school and for some reason discloses they sleep in their clothes and is slightly smelly, you maybe asked a few questions.

That's a fair point hotcrosshunny
Op, its interesting that you say this is a "bad habit" you got into. So I think it sounds as though you're not happy with it. It's also worth remembering that although it's not necessary to bathe your DCs every day, if they aren't kept reasonably clean that is a problem. Other people will notice Any odour before you and that is an issue that ppl become interested in.
It's all about context and degrees isn't it.

X post june

differentnameforthis

I speak from experience.
I dont agree with a lot of the tick boxes ss have.
I have to tick them though.

its the kids saying something about it at school and then someone making a big deal of it or misunderstanding the reasons why that might cause issue.

odd socks
sharing clothes
sleeping in clothes

all things 'not allowed'

If it wasn't an issue the op wouldn't have posted . I still think its totally yuck and also the excuses for it are nonsense - clean clothes daily but no pyjs to save washing ...

Dead skin and sweat . Still yuck .

Children wearing PJs makes virtually no difference to the washing...my dcs wear their PJs for several nights before they need a wash.

I agree with the poster who said its on the low end of neglectful. I'd be concerned if I knew a family who did this and would wonder if they needed extra help.

I do sympathise with the ops situation, it sounds unbearably stressful but getting them into some proper bed clothes will be a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things.

I remember going to bed as a child and my mum had turned down my duvet corner, turned the bedside light on, put clean pyjamas on my pillow. It made me feel so cherished

I want to do the same for my dc. It may not be neglect but it can't make them feel cherished in that way. Just a bit grubby and uncomfortable.

I also cannot see how one pair of pyjamas each a week can add hugely to your washing pile

I get the impression the building work is finished.
?

I think a lot of people here haven't read the whole thread and are saying yabu based on the assumption that the kids are wearing the clothes again the next morning. The op has stated several times that they have clean clothes and are washed every morning.
I think if the op had been clearer ie. my children are washed every day and always have clean washed clothes every morning. Usually I also put them in clean pyjamas every night but to save on washing and because they like doing it the children have been wearing their clothes to bed. They are comfortable and clean as they are washed and have new clothes every morning but it does save on washing as it's 14 pairs of pyjamas less to wash every week
The responses would have been a lot different.
I think yanbu!
I personally wear my pants and that days t shirt to bed every night. I don't have pjs. I shower and put clean clothes on every morning. I think I'm perfectly clean!
My kids prefer pjs so they have clean pjs every night but on occasion they ask to wear their pants and t shirt to bed (or just pants if it's hot) and I don't see a problem with that.
I honestly can't see the difference between wearing leggings and a t shirt for a day and a night then washing, to wearing a leggings and t shirt 2 days in a row and pjs 2 nights in a row.?!? Both are worn twice, how can one be dirty and neglectful and the other be fine??