to let my children sleep in their clothes?

[greenbananas]

It's a bad habit I've got into while we have been having building work done. We spent about three weeks without a washing machine, heating or hot water. But now, children sleeping in clothes has become a kind of routine. Putting them in pyjamas seems like a pointless hassle, when they are far more comfortable just going to bed in whatever they are wearing (minus shoes, socks and anything bulky).

Obviously, I remove anything that is food-stained or dreadfully dirty. They are only 17 months and 5 years old, so they are not very smelly yet (although my 5 year old is a bit muddy sometimes).

My children are loved and cuddled, and have plenty of play activities and attention.

My instinct says that it's okay to save on washing and stress by letting them sleep in their clothes. But sometimes I wonder if I am being borderline neglectful.

What do you think? AIBU?

[greenbananas]

LaGaurdia, I do know now that nearly everybody thinks it is wrong. It is not something I would have dreamed of doing before the building work started (apart from rare occasions when ds1 feel asleep in his clothes after journeys and it seemed cruel to wake him up so I would just gently strip off his outer layers).

I was posting late at night and should not have posted at all. I was never going to let it continue because I was brought up with the cultural stereotype of all children going their cots in clean babygros and smelling of John son's.

I have defied many cultural stereotypes already in the way I raise my children (carrying them in slings not pushchairs, breastfeeding while they are old enough to have teeth, all curling up in the family bed until they are old enough to be more comfortable sleeping alone).

When I (unwisely) posted, I was wondering how other people saw sleeping in clothes. I hadn't realised it was such an indicator of neglect, or that the philpotts children had all been found in school uniform.

I take the point that children are more comfortable in pyjamas, and that in an ordinary household this means they can wear some of the same uniform the next day.

I was feeling vaguely guilty about my children sleeping in their clothes and thought I would ask the question. I wasn't expecting such a unanimous verdict of "you are a lazy feckless mother" - that did surprise me. I am a childcare professional, believe it or not, and if a child told me they slept in their clothes, but seemed otherwise well cared for, secure and loved, I honestly don't think I would worry too much. I might make a mental note, but I don't think I would see it as something I had to write down unless the children seemed dirty, smelly or otherwise neglected.

[ikeaismylocal]

I do understand that you just didn't realise greenbananas I didn't realise your suppposed to wash a baby's/toddler's growbag, my logic is that he has clean pyjamas on every night and the growbag doesn't actully touch him, but most people wash them regularly.

I guess we all are feckless in our own way ;)

[Chippednailvarnish]

Basic comfort and hygiene is not a cultural stereotype...

[Logg1e]

Coldlightofday I am not a social worker, so don't know the answer, but if it's not a big issue, why was it so widely reported in the Philpot Murders?

OP I can see that you pride yourself on your parenting style and like to see yourself as alternative. But I don't think that people saying that there's a lack of care of putting your children to bed in dirty, dusty clothes is them being "culturally stereotypical".

I don't think you understand people's concerns, I think you just feel as though you are being forced to conform for conformity's sake.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Peaches plus the two female doctors who died in Tenerife today are all stark reminders of that ColdLight I agree.

[TrinityRhino]

my girls dont have their dad but yes my social worker would have a problem if my girls went to bed in their clothes

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

I think the thing that was widely reported with those poor children was that their parent set fire to their home while they slept.

I think the clothing might have been seen as so important becasie some ppl suggested it was a sign that they had kept the chidlren in their clothes, expecting them to be seen outside when "rescued", and not wanting them to be seen without clothes, but more likely because, in the context of everything else that was going on with the family, it was another indicator of neglect. When something so awful happens, everything around is seen with that tragedy in mind, and some things, that might mean nothing whatsoever to children who are wells cared for, become "significant" when seen in context and with hindsight.

There's a world of difference between a child who goes to sleep in his uniform (and may well go to school the next day in it) on a regualr basis because no one could be bothered to put him to bed properly, And a well loved, properly cared- for child who is allowed to sleep in his day clothes.

Context and degree.
They are so important.

[thegoldenaxe]

I actually don't have a problem with sleeping in clothes, as such. I grew up in a very old house which believe me was cold and often wore jogging bottoms with a jumper or cardi to bed.

But I do think sleeping in a school uniform is a bit much. Sorry, OP.