...to ask how you knew you wanted DC?

[pinchpunch]

I want them (haven't yet had any) but can't explain why. Something to do with feeling strongly that I want to create a secure, loving family of my own.

Other people's babies are cute and it's nice to play with them for a while, but I don't come away desperately broody. Not yet 30 and not really at a point in my life where I can see myself having any in the next year or two, but would like to think by 35 at least.

So, assuming some level of decision making/planning is going to go into this (appreciate there are things you just can't control), and knowing that it is not easy, how did you come to the conclusion that it was the right thing for you?

Did you ever consider that you might not have any? And if you didn't have any... what would you do with your life? Realistically.

Thoughts appreciated!

Plate

make your mind up!

Chrome I'm really happy. :) I remember being shocked at the movie Friends With Kids, which I watched because a friend told me it was "so realistic." Uh, no. Full of stressed out people screaming at their partners, etc.

I'm less stressed since I had kids, especially since I went from one to two. I definitely want more so I guess we'll see if I feel the same when I have three or four! :) But I definitely feel more zen. I'm just...not in my own head all the time, iykwim? Physically I'm doing so much more but mentally I feel very calm...I just do not have the mental space or energy to be thinking about and over analyzing everything. Things are what they are, and I'm too busy remembering that DS has football on Saturday and DD has outgrown all of her leggings and the dog needs ear medicine, to worry about anything else. It's actually kind of a relief! :o

I also have plenty of time to myself, especially as a SAHM. It's a slow life, and not for everyone. I know at some point I'll want to do more, but for now taking long walks with the kids and reading and growing flowers and baking suits me just fine. I also lie in on the weekends and have plenty of sex. I can understand why people go off sex when they have kids (so tired, sick of people touching you etc) but for me it's great just to do something that's about us as a couple and not the kids. So it's pretty frequent here.

LaGuardia perhaps you have never strayed beyond the breastfeeding and buggy-choosing threads. I suggest you explore MN a bit more. My own favourites are Pedants'Corner, Cunning Linguists, style and beauty, Radio addicts, Relationships and (of course) AIBU. I genuinely believe that someone on Mumsnet will be able to answer a question about literally anything. MN is an astonishingly diverse treasure trove of intelligent conversation on every aspect of life. I personally enjoy the fact that as a space originally defined by motherhood the contributors are mostly female.

However your point is even less valid on this particular thread -where else would someone asking the question in the thread title go but to a parenting website??

Always knew I wanted children, but it was only really when DP and I started to get serious that I thought "actually, I would love to see what a mini you and me would be like".

We're a good 6-7 years off having kids, I'm early 20s and the thought of being pregnant now just gives me the "oh shit" feeling.

I was discussing this with DP the other day and we both agreed that the moment we feel "that's amazing" instead of "oh shit" is when we'll start trying.

Both my sister's had babies in a few months of each other and it switched on my maternal button. I thought if I adored these two little people having my own child would be even better.

My MIL said I only wanted one as I was feeling left out and we were too young. I was 23 and DH was 26 and had been married 3 years.

incidentally chrome in the same way peope don't post on relationships to say what a lovely day they had with their dp or what mindblowing sex they had this morning they don't tend to post detailing the nicer sides of parenting very often.

it's essentially a bit like a problem page - you don't read it to assess the happiness of the human race.

having kids can be stressful - theres at least one point in the day, every day, when I feel stressed and have to take a few minutes out. im 23, a SAHM, have 2 boys (3yo and 9mo), I moved away from my home town and all friends went off to various uni's, my partner works all day, and I dont know anyone locally - so its pretty much me and the kids which can feel lonely sometimes. I get out to toddler groups etc but most people are older than me and I dont really get much conversation out of them! so yes - my life has changed drastically, I no longer have any sort of social life and everything does revolve around the kids - however saying that, I love my boys to bits and wouldnt change them for the world

also chrome - I agree with what you said - I am VERY tired as my 9mo is a terrible sleeper, and we dont go out in the evenings/weekends unless its with the kids. but then this is through choice, I could quite easily get a babysitter and go out but I hate the thought of leaving the kids while I go out enjoying myself

that's a good point. i've known plenty of women who do still go out, go away for weekends with friends etc when mothers.

I just always knew I wanted to have children, I was the first in my family, and the second in my group of friends to have them (Friend's DS is 13 days older than my eldest DD)

When DD1 was born, I felt that my life was complete, and that whatever happened in the future I had my child, and she was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

When DD2 came along two years later, I was dancing on air, and that I had fulfilled my dream of being a mother.

Don't want to sound smug, because I'm really not, but I never needed "a break" or "me time" that my friend spoke about all the time.

Just my personal feeling but I really do think that if I hadn't had my daughters, then my life would have had no meaning, and no purpose, and I'd feel like a terrible failure. But that is just my own feeling about my life, not suggesting that anyone who hasn't had children is a failure!

I wasnt fussed about having children one way or the other. When I got pregnant and gave birth though, that changed... fell in love with DD. So I had another child the following year. I have 2 DCs and wish Id had more.

Haha fruli!!

I always wanted children. My DH did, once we were married.

25 years down the line with four grown up DCs, I wouldn't change it for the world. There were stressful days, but most of the time it was a lovely, happy time with lively boys that loved us both and loved having us around.

Now they're almost all grown up and we have time for each other, life is lovely in a different way. We have a lovely life.