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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is so good about having "one of each"?

179 replies

GoshAnneGorilla · 07/03/2014 22:01

There are many threads on here featuring the annoying comments said to mothers of boys or mothers of girls.

Mixed sex families never seem to receive such comments.

Also, if you're pregnant with DC2, people always assume that you want this child to be a different sex to your first - Why?

OP posts:
Back2Two · 07/03/2014 22:04

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KnittingRocks · 07/03/2014 22:06

Because people are stupid? Grin

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 07/03/2014 22:08

Isn't it obvious?

Nobody hassles you in order to have another child and get whatever it is that you are allegedly missing!

littlebluedog12 · 07/03/2014 22:10

It's a load of rubbish. But then most of what 'people' say is rubbish.

My standard response when people tell me what they are having second time round:

"aah, one of each, how lovely!"
"aah, two boys, how lovely!"
"aah, two girls, how lovely!"

No preference for any combination, it's just what people say.

WaitingForMe · 07/03/2014 22:13

All I can come up with is lack of idiot comments from other people.

ipswichwitch · 07/03/2014 22:15

We have 2 boys and I like to point out to people who feel the need to comment that if we had one of each then we'd be missing out on the joy of having 2 boys. Whatever combination of kids you have you'll not know what it's like to have different combinations iyswim. All you will ever know is what it's like to have your kids so by that rationale everyone is "missing out" in some way. If people are stupid enough to tell me it's a shame we don't have one of each I can blow their tiny minds with this argument !

KnittingRocks · 07/03/2014 22:17

littleblue, I could count on the fingers on one hand the number of times someone has said "two boys, how lovely" to me!

It's sad, and rude - and especially makes me rage when they say it in front of my boys!

wineforthelady · 07/03/2014 22:18

I have three girls and I think that's easier than one of each although DD3 was going to be our boy :).

TheBookofRuth · 07/03/2014 22:19

We found out today that we are having a DS to go with our DD, and to be completely honest I'm a little disappointed I'm not getting another DD, I would've liked her to have a sister.

vestandknickers · 07/03/2014 22:20

Because it is lovely to know what it is like to have a son and a daughter. It is different and it is lovely to experience both.

Back2Two · 07/03/2014 22:20

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crochetedblanket · 07/03/2014 22:21

At least you don't have an only! I never get, oh just one? Perfect! Its always when he's getting a playmate blah blah blah blah blah.

Custardo · 07/03/2014 22:22

they are quite different and to experience both is great - it in no way diminishes the wonerfulness that is you existing particular sex children, but there are differences

KnittingRocks · 07/03/2014 22:22

But do you have two of each two vestandknickers?

This is what bemuses me - that people who have one of each some how think that those of us bringing up two of the same are bringing up two indentikit kids. My boys could not be MORE different!

Back2Two · 07/03/2014 22:22

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Dinosaursareextinct · 07/03/2014 22:22

Maybe people feel they've enjoyed the "full experience" if they've had at least one of each. Plus men are supposed to want boys and women to want girls, so they can pass on their experience of being a man/woman, have more in common etc.
Two the same sex is a bit easier though.

Ledkr · 07/03/2014 22:25

After 3 great lads I was delighted to have a dd to be girly with etc etc. it's all bollocks, she is a sullen sulky cheeky mare. Give me my boys any day.

KnittingRocks · 07/03/2014 22:25

Here Back2Two.

Dinosaur, I can honestly say I've never had any desire to have a daughter. Don't especially enjoy much of what being a woman is about and don't particularly want to pass my anxieties onto another girl.

Don't feel I'm missing out one iota on the "full experience" - but then I have the perspective of years of infertility to understand that there is more to life than having a boy/girl family, when for so long I thought there would no family for us at all.

vestandknickers · 07/03/2014 22:25

I have two daughters and one son. Of course my daughters are totally different. I don't think I said anything about identikit kids.

stealthsquiggle · 07/03/2014 22:27

Because it stops people making stupid remarks about whether you want another, are you going to keep trying, etc, etc.

KnittingRocks · 07/03/2014 22:27

You said they were quite different - well my kids are quite different to.

deakymom · 07/03/2014 22:28

a friend of mine has had 6 boys in a quest for a girl she even divorced her husband because he refused to get his vasectomy reversed she will probably try again soon

Custardo · 07/03/2014 22:29

generalisations are never useful and can always be disproved

i have two boys and one girl

they are all so different you wouldnt think they came from the same family. however boys are different from girls and it is disingenuos to suggest otherwise. having two very different girls and then having a boy is absolutley different, as is having two very different boys and also having a girl

howver that statement in itself will have those parents who have either one sex and not the other think that it diminishes their family in some way. it does not. however, they are quite different experiences

KnittingRocks · 07/03/2014 22:30

deaky, I feel deeply sorry for the boys your friend has had - how awful to know they are unwanted children in the quest to have the perfect child.

vestandknickers · 07/03/2014 22:31

Maybe I expressed it badly. Of course all children are different. I would think that goes without saying. But I also think the experience of having daughters is different to the experience of having sons and I am pleased that I have known both. Maybe not everyone needs to experience both, I'm only speaking for myself and trying to give some insight into why people might say it is nice to have one of each.