To ask what is so good about having "one of each"?

[GoshAnneGorilla]

There are many threads on here featuring the annoying comments said to mothers of boys or mothers of girls.

Mixed sex families never seem to receive such comments.

Also, if you're pregnant with DC2, people always assume that you want this child to be a different sex to your first - Why?

Dinosaursareextinct I'd agree with your sentiments there. I grew up without a dad as middle child of 5 and was the oldest boy. When I joined the navy at 16 I had to shave every day and since I hadn't shaved previously, without a dad to show me how, I had no idea at all what to do. It sounds silly now, but I remember it as being quite upsetting as I stood in front of the mirror with borrowed shaving stuff and no idea what to do next! I assume it can be just as confusing for girls without a mum (obviously not shaving but, you know lol).

I have two DDs, and was beyond delighted to have had a second girl,

Just my own feelings, but I would have been devastated to have had a boy with any of them, I've never wanted a son, and I have very strong feelings about that.

I would never share my feelings with anyone in RL, and have been delighted for friends with whatever combination they have!

I thought of this thread while I was at my boys' swimming lesson today - a woman stood next to me was boasting about her DD's reading age, and said "of course it's a girl thing - they're so much quicker at reading than boys. I've got one of each so I can see these things".

What a lot of bollocks - but has been said time and time again in this thread. My girl is like this so all girls are like this, my boy is like this so all boys are like this.

Dinosaur, as an ex-primary teacher I don't recognise your assumption that girls are so much easier at primary school at all. My 5 year old DS is diligent, hard-working, does everything his teacher tells him and so on. Many of the girls I taught were incredibly hard work because they were so bloody vile to each other - just as so many mums are about each others' kids I suppose!

I would be more than happy if people kept on telling me how lovely it is to have two boys, but I don't think I've ever been told that - sadly there are too many mums out there like Golden who have this hatred of boys and make no secret of it. It's so tired and sad and as a mum of boys it's also deeply offensive. Remember that next time you tell someone sympathetically that they don't know they cope with boys - it's someone's kids you're talking about .

My plan was to have one girl. I in fact had two boys. However I was fortunate enough to have the loveliest boys in the world, so all is well.

GoldenGytha - I think you were irresponsible to get pregnant once, let alone twice, if you would have been "devastated" to have a boy. What a risky and selfish thing to do.

Could not agate with with Mintyy more.
What a nasty, selfish thing to do. Twice!
Ugh.

Agate? With with?
Ach, you know what I mean.

Golden, out of interest, what the fuck would you have done if you'd been lucky enough to have a boy?

Why on earth would you be devastated to have a boy, GoldenGytha, how sad. There is something very lovely about a hug from one's six foot four grown up son.

Just read the first page and agree completely with Ipswitch and KnittingRocks - my sister came out with an absolute corker last week:

'TypicaLibra, dnephew1 and dnephew2 are great, but don't you just look at my beautiful baby dd and wish you'd had a girl?'

I was utterly speechless at how rude and patronising that was, and to be fair she isn't normally.

What do you folks say in this situation? Fuck off was what I wanted to say, but there were others there so I couldn't. I ended up smiling through gritted teeth and saying yes wasn't her dd beautiful.

I had a girl and then a boy, when I was pg with DC3 I got a few comments along the lines of 'why are you having another?'

some people will always make stupid comments no matter what.

Typical, it's a very tricky one - sometimes I do want to give them a piece of my mind, and sometimes I do say something, but often I'm just so speechless at their smugness and rudeness I stand there doing a passable impression of a goldfish!

if you think of a witty put down then let me know!

Typical no fuck off was the right response. silly bitch.

Golden just wierd comment. good job you had girls then. confused

typical
yeah, should have said fuck off to her.

When DS4 was a few weeks old some git said "oh, another boy, what a shame" !

I told her never to speak to me again.

amother

precisely.

DS1 is now officially taller than me. he is only 12 and a half - but when he hugs me I feel so protected!
And when he hugs and says: "good morning, dearest mother" I simply melt!

but there's DS5 too, almost 5, who grins and insists on more huggles and DD who literally owns me (almost 2) - all their hugs are fab!

Thanks Knitting, Body and Mango

I know there are people with two (or more) boys who would have wanted a girl, but I honestly never cared. I didn't know if I was in a minority or not, so it's been interesting and comforting to read on this thread that other mums with just boys feel the same as me. To me they're two individual people, very different characters indeed but very very loveable. Both sensitive in different ways.

It makes me not want to smile at or cuddle dniece for fear of more similar comments, but then that's 'punishing' dniece which isn't really fair.

I actually find my boy easier than my girl, he's easier to look after, she is much more demanding. He has his role model even though I am a single parent as I shared custody with his dad pretty much fifty fifty most of the time.

I'm a lot more scared of my daughter's future than my son's. Because of the teenage years, the risks of pregnancy, the unfairness in the work place, the sexualization of women in general. I hope I can grow her up with good common sense so she avoids the risks and does well, but I worry about it, where I don't with my son.

I have 2 of each (b,g,b,g) and can really see why it would be lovely to have 2 of the same. The gaps between each set of my girls and boys is too big for them to really share common ground. My dbro has two boys and they have real fun together as they like the same things.

GoldenGytha Devastated to have a healthy boy? You sound very shallow. And I don't think it matters about past experiences etc etc, for anyone to feel that its horrible. Glad for your childrens sake they were born without male genitalia then, otherwise who knows how #screwed up they would have become as they grew realizing their Mother didn't want them because they werent female. Devastated? Oh grow up!!

My first DC was a boy and when I fell pregnant again so many people said to me, "you must be hoping for a girl this time".

Actually I was hoping for another boy, but at 20-week scan we found out we were expecting a girl. I must admit I had a bit of an emotional wobble that I wouldn't know what to do with a girl (I've always been a tomboy) while everyone else was saying "lovely, one of each...perfect!"

I don't know why people think one of each should be any more "perfect" than two brothers or two sisters. I have one of each and it is and they are absolutely perfect and I wouldn't have it any other way...but no doubt I would have felt the same no matter what the combination of sexes!

My only reason for being pleased to have a DD and a DS is that I think that society continues to expect boys & girls to be different and that, as a result, there is likely to be less direct comparison between the two. There won't be a "sporty" boy and a less sporty one; there won't be a "pretty" girl and a not-so pretty girl. I find these sorts of comparisons very negative and, in my experience, it seemed to happen more to my friends who had siblings of the same sex than those with siblings of the other sex.
But I was disappointed not to have two girls and that DD will not have a sister as I think that that must be a lovely relationship to have. Writing that makes me realise that I am also disappointed that DS will never have a brother although it's not something I've thought before as, as he is DC2, we always knew what sibling he'd have whereas we didn't with DD. Likewise, I've never really thought about what it would be like to have just DSs as I started off with a DD.
I would be fascinated to know whether 4yo DD would be as bossy and responsible if she were not an older sibling. And would 22mtho DS be as laid back of he were not a younger sibling. But obviously I'll never know.

I have one of each and it's lovely, but I don't see any way in which it is lovelier than having two girls or two boys. You can't hand down many clothes from the older child but on the other hand they have access to all the "other gender" toys and skills that it would take more of a conscious effort to provide with just one gender of child.

Laughing my bloody arse off at this thread!I think a swift, "shut up you ignoramous" , in some of these circumstances would be the way to go.

I have one ds, he is amazing - especially when he woke me this morning by tickling me with the pompom on the end of his favourite teddy's pink hat. I have a sister 2y older, we have fought like cat and dog since day 1. I don't have a 'special bond' with my mother, and going shopping with her is my idea of hell - right up there with a spa weekend with my sister

My DGm had 9 nine children, they went:
Boy
Boy
Boy
Boy
Boy
Boy
Boy
Boy
Girl

She experienced a lot of arse-achingly boring comments. The ones that hurt most were "are you going to keep trying for a girl?" She really wanted to stop after dc4, but her Catholic husband had other ideas. So, she smiled and nodded and cried inside.

for my Dgm and everyone else

I had a girl first, when I was pregnant with my sec

Oops! When I was having my second it never occurred to me to even consider it would be a boy for some reason and I was shocked when he came out male lol. Then I had my third who is neither male nor female but possessed of satan..