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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask what is so good about having "one of each"?

179 replies

GoshAnneGorilla · 07/03/2014 22:01

There are many threads on here featuring the annoying comments said to mothers of boys or mothers of girls.

Mixed sex families never seem to receive such comments.

Also, if you're pregnant with DC2, people always assume that you want this child to be a different sex to your first - Why?

OP posts:
SnowHOHOboarder · 07/03/2014 23:07

I always wanted 1 of each, until I got two the same that is. I bloody love my boys and think it's fabulous having 2 and watching them develop a strong brotherly bond. I'm sure I would have loved a girl as much as DS2 but I have to say that there's something magical about being adored by so many men and being the only woman in my home god help my future DILs. My boys constantly want to cuddle me, hold my hand, stroke my hair etc... It's lovely, if a little stifling sometimes.

I know some people pity me a bit for not having a daughter, but I pity them for not having my lovely sons so there!

When I was pg with DS2 (before I found out his 'flavour' I read that sometimes you get what you need, not what you want. Not sure if that's true but I can't imagine needing anything more than what I've got (I had IVF to conceive DS1 and DS2 was a BOGOF so I know I'm very lucky!)

KnittingRocks · 07/03/2014 23:10

Some as us Snow! DS1 was IVF and DS2 and an amazing surprise Grin!

Lol at the future DILs - I remind my boys constantly that they'll never love another woman like they love me Grin Grin Wink!

Piscivorus · 07/03/2014 23:15

My DCs are grown up now as are those of most of my friends. I have one of each, my closest friend has 2 boys and the woman I am closest to at work has 2 girls. None of us have missed out, all 3 of us have had happy and fulfilling lives bringing up our children.

Of course there are different things I do with DS than I do with DD but my friend has 2 sons who are very different and like to do different things. I think it is all down to the individuals, not to their sex, and I think the only people who are sad are those making these silly judgements

birdsnotbees · 07/03/2014 23:15

So sorry for your loss, near. X

RosebudTheCat · 07/03/2014 23:21

I have one of each. I love that I get to shop across the full range of children's clothing .

Dontbugmemalone · 07/03/2014 23:31

I've got two beautiful boys and wouldn't change it.
I think initially, I was disappointed that I would have a daughter (DS2 is our last) but there are lots of advantages to having two of the same sex.

It makes it easier with clothes. Also I'm a bit of a tomboy which helps Grin.

evertonmint · 07/03/2014 23:37

I have one of each. I wanted one of each, I think because that's what I grew up with so it felt familiar.

TBH I hate all the extrapolating from personal experience to actual fact that goes on and you get as much of that guffins with parents of one gender as you do two. So as bad as the "it's great to have one of each so DH and DS can go to football while DD and I go shopping" (err, DD and I are way more into sport than DH and DS) are the people with 2 boys saying "you've just got to treat boys like puppies and tire them out" (err, not my DS no, but my DD yes we do) to people with 2 girls saying "I'm so glad I don't have smelly boys as girls just sit quietly and behave nicely" (err, again, that's not true for my DS or my DD).

People talk utter shite based on their own personal experiences and it's no worse from people with both genders than it is from people with only one gender.

PhallicGiraffe · 07/03/2014 23:46

Well we have two boys, but one of our boys is a bit girly, so it all worked out fine.

moominmarvellous · 07/03/2014 23:47

I have one of each, I actually liked the idea of two girls......still do now and again!

KnittingRocks · 07/03/2014 23:47

Grin @ PhallicGiraffe!

BlackeyedSusan · 08/03/2014 00:20

the only benefit of having one of each is that you get less comments about trying for another so you can get the gender you do not yet have.

it is like children only come with one of two sorts of personality, likes and interests. the pink loving-quiet-reading shopping sort and the pink-hating football mad lively sort.

pink hating sporty girls or a book loving quiet boys are not even contemplated by those who lack the imagination to think that anything other than one of each is inferior.

Muminneed60 · 08/03/2014 00:31

I have one of each and always wanted this. I was overjoyed when we were told the sex of dc2!

It is very rude for people to assume that everybody would like children of both sexes.

HadABadDay2014 · 08/03/2014 00:44

I have one of each, both are amazing both special to me in their own way.

People have said awwww 1 of each there is no need to have any more Angry

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 08/03/2014 00:53

Actually OP I have had daft comments despite having a boy and a girl. I have had "No need to have any more now!" and "How will you deal with a boy? You are used to girls!".
Oh and the best "Oh, are you disappointed its not another girl? I would want just girls."
Unfortunately no one is immune to the inane comments of others.

There are nice things about having one of each, but I am sure there are equally the same number of nice things about having 2 of the same sex.
I guess what I am saying is having children is a blessing, regardless of gender mix.

OpalQuartz · 08/03/2014 01:02

Well put Evertonmint and Blackeyedsusan

AllDirections · 08/03/2014 01:04

I have 3 DDs and when I envisage a 4th child it's always a girl though it's never going to happen

I'm sure a boy would be fine too but if I had a choice I would have another girl or two or three I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything not having one of each!

harryhausen · 08/03/2014 09:10

I have one of each. When I had my ds I had plenty of ridiculous comments such as "Oh how perfect" and "How clever of you" (clever??). However I also had a couple of comments along the lines of "What a shame they won't be able to play together".

It's utterly crap.

My dd9 is a huge tomboy, who has barely worn a skirt and doesn't own a scrap of pink. She's into Lego, zombies, Dr Who, Merlin and Minecraft - just like my ds6. In fact, it's been really good for us because she wears mainly boys clothes and shoes and we can pass them onto ds.

My friends and my family mainly have all boys or all girls. each and everyone of their children are different and unique. Having one of each myself, I still can't answer the question properly about what's different about bringing up boys and girls.

cory · 08/03/2014 09:28

"Mixed sex families never seem to receive such comments."

Mixed families just get a double ration:

"I could never cope with girls; they are so bitchy."

"I'm so glad I've only got girls; you don't get the same special relationships with boys."

maleview70 · 08/03/2014 09:30

Personally I can't understnd why people have more than one after 2 years of no sleep!

usuallyright · 08/03/2014 09:31

I'm very close to my sisters and when we started a family I never had the desire for one of each. If anything, I had a preference for 2 boys or 2 girls. In the end, we had three girls.
I loved having two sisters when I was growing up,and know lots of women who feel they've missed out not having sisters or any siblings at all, so don't see the big deal about having one of each.

LizCurly · 08/03/2014 09:35

yeh, people are just making conversation. I can't believe how stewed up some people get over the mindless comments people fill silences with.

FamiliesShareGerms · 08/03/2014 09:38

So you can get to be the lovely mother-of-the-bride and wear a big hat and be an evil MiL to your son's wife.

MissDuke · 08/03/2014 09:45

My dd desperately wanted a sister and never quite got over the fact she got a brother!! She has a sister now though. I had bf both Ds and dd2 before I remembered to look to see their gender, that's how bothered I was!

jellybeans · 08/03/2014 11:26

I have 3 DS 2 DD. I think it is more personality than biological sex. It is nice to have both but it would be nice whatever. It is lovely having two the same as they tend to be close if close in age. My first 2 were DDs so as a 'just girls mum' i got all the 'poor DH' comments and my last 3 are all DSs so when out with just them I look like an 'all boy mum' and people have commented. Drives me mad, my DC are my DC who cares what gender they have!!!!!!Must say i don't get all this mothers of boys 'desperate' to have a girl to do 'girly days' with!! WTF is that! I never did it, my girls were in the mud and climbing trees and never did the 'princess thing'. My boys played with prams and dolls etc also and wore pink. Why do people encourage them to be so gender stereotyped!!

formerbabe · 08/03/2014 11:45

I have one of each...I was not bothered though whether I had 2 boys or 2 girls...I don't know why people care so much!

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