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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU...DP and London

221 replies

Bazoo23 · 12/02/2014 15:16

I have recently started a new job and as part of this job I have to attend a training day in London.
We live about 5 hours from London. My employer will pay my train fare and I just assumed my partner would come with me.
However when I got the date through it falls week after we are away for a week.
My DP said hed be pushing his luck to ask for a day off so soon and wont even try.
AIBU to feel hurt that he doesnt seem worried about me goig alone? We are from a very small town and I am really nervous of being alone im a big city. Im also worried about travelling back in the evening.
I feel like it will be so obvious I have no clue what Im doing that I will be an easy target :-(

OP posts:

galletti · 12/02/2014 21:27

Second Coffeein bed with asking for directions. We might all look miserable and like we don't care, but we are just like you, and concentrating on getting from A to B. I have witnessed, and been part of many occasions when people have asked directions or whether they are on the right train, and people will always help. Plan well, use offers of help from here and enjoy the trip! Also embrace the chance to have some you time on the train journey!

Original poster

Bazoo23 · 12/02/2014 21:35

Off to bed now as 14mo has delightfully taken to waking at 4am and shouting "Mama! Up time!!"

But thank you SO much for the support, advice, offers of help and the kinder YABUs!

When I get my info Ill start a new thread over in travel.

OP posts:

MonsterMunchMe · 12/02/2014 21:45

You work for the nhs and you've never been to nandos????? You get 20% off!! Find one on your travels.

I moved from a small town in surrey into London at the age of 16. It is not scary at all.

In fact I now work for a public transport company in central London..... I'll hold your hand and show you around so you don't have to be alone......for a small fee

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/02/2014 21:47

Re Nandos op - it's perfectly nice fast food with knives and forks.

Fino is a v nice tapas place in London. Has been a couple of years since I ate there and I still think of it fondly.

nkf · 12/02/2014 21:51

You'll probably fall in love with the place. It can have that effect on people.

AveryJessup · 12/02/2014 22:11

Don't worry, OP, these days it's possible for even the most respectable young ladies to travel without a chaperone...

I have a mental image now of the OP on a steam train down to London, clutching a valise while hiding out in a ladies-only carriage and reaching for the smelling salts when a man looks into her carriage by mistake

You'll be fine, OP. I went to London for the first time at 24 (not from the UK) and it didn't traumatize me. In fact, I really liked it there and went back for a few weekend breaks afterwards with my DH. He grew up in a rural part of Scotland and had a very negative image of London too and was pleasantly surprised the first time he visited.

PicaK · 12/02/2014 22:23

Yes, just ask. I'd be one of the tutters muttering 'tourists' under my breath when they blocked my way - but when asked for help have gone out of my way to deliver people to the right spot on the right tube platform.

Equally do not be alarmed if stood waiting on a tube platform and a stranger appears extremely close next to you. They simply know where the doors will open when the train arrives.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 12/02/2014 22:32

Blimey, I remember moving from London after 20 years and being shit scared of living in the country with only one bus every half an hour (I was used to 4 stations within 10 mins of my house and tons of buses) the notion of being stranded some where without being able to hop on a bus/train/ tube easily terrified me!

I've travelled and lived outside the UK too, my parents did a fab job

Glad I didn't ever post on here and encounter the likes of handcream when I was feeling a bit nervous

MrsBertMacklin · 12/02/2014 22:34

'No to Nandos. It's just posh KFC.'

You say it like that's a bad thing!

A hearty second recommendation to the Nearest Tube app recommended already, shaves valuable minutes off connections and beats the rush to the escalators.

Lots of central London streets have official wayfinding signs now which look like this.

Another person here happy to recommend routes/lunch venues etc. either on here or if you prefer, PM. Leon is a good semi-fast food chain, for starters.

AveryJessup · 12/02/2014 23:22

Yes, I second Leon as a suggestion for lunch MrsBert. I always ate there on my trips to London. Wish they had a branch of it where I live now!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 13/02/2014 08:44

Ooh! I wonder if Ill spot a Nandos? We dont have one (or anything else) and it sounds delicous!

I bloody love Nandos. Especially with 20% NHS discount...

Anniegoestotown · 13/02/2014 08:45

As long as you are not coming to London to deal drugs/guns or join a gang or decide to walk down the Edgeware Rd throwing your iPhone in the air or take to gambling money on Find The Lady on Westminster Bridge you will be fine.

Not too sure what you mean by easy target, there is CCTV everywhere you will be safer than in your small village. I let my dc wander all around London but I will not let them out of the door in my small village as my village does not have CCTV and the streets are empty, no one around so anyone could bundle a child into the back of a car and no one would bno any the wiser.

Braganza · 13/02/2014 09:16

I totally understand the anxiety, but I'm sure it will be fine as everyone else has said. It's not nearly so daunting once you've started the trip as you're dealing with little challenges one at a time rather than a flood of unknowns. Another thing that might help is to virtually walk the route from the tube station on google street view. Particularly useful to help find the right building.

LittleBearPad · 13/02/2014 09:49

You'll be fine. For all the reputation Londoners have, most of us are lovely and will help out anyone who looks lost.

You should be able to combine your train ticket with the necessary underground ticket so shouldn't need to buy a separate one.

ProfPlumSpeaking · 13/02/2014 09:57

What a great chance for you to glimpse London. Honestly, you will be fine. It is understandable if you are nervous if you have not travelled alone before but honestly you will be fine. My DDs went all over London on their own from about 12 yo and have never had any trouble at all. It's not like you are going to a dodgy part of South London late at night. You will be centrally located in one of the greatest and safest cities in the world. honestly, when you get details of the venue, and can share which mainline station you will arrive at, then we can all help you. Confused by buses? We will tell you the tube line. Don't like the underground? We will find an above ground route. Worst case scenario, use the money you will have saved on DP's train fare and treat yourself to a black cab to and from the venue. Just watch your handbag (ie don't leave it on the floor anywhere and have one that zips up rather than easily opened - there are indeed pickpockets in places) and you will be fine.

Balaboosta · 13/02/2014 10:21

You not only need to do this. You need to do this often. And enjoy it!

droppedscones · 13/02/2014 10:29

Aah you lucky thing op. 10 hours reading time is what that's saying to me. I'm sure you'll surprise yourself with how fine it is.

FRambridge · 13/02/2014 16:08

I didn't read all the posts on here as there are so many....but I think you will be fine.

I went abroad to Turkey a couple of years ago by myself. It was liberating experience sorting out my own travel, accomodation, things to do etc. Oh and you might call me crazy but after I booked it I found out I was preggers. So when I went I was 8 weeks pregnant in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language. I buddied up with English people at the hotel, I got to know the (Irish/Turkish) hotel staff on first name terms and I befriended some of the locals. I had a lovely time, took necessary precautions (stayed away from anyone 'shifty looking', got the tel no for the local hospital should anything happen to me or bubs and printed off the phrase for 'I'm 8 weeks pregnant' should I land myself in a Turkish hospital.

Suffice to say, nothing happened, it was really relaxing reading 50 Shades.... on the beach and I had a wonderful time to myself.

London will be a breeze! Enjoy

EBearhug · 13/02/2014 20:43

Just one thing, though - if you're not sure which direction to go in at any point, please move away from the top/bottom of the escalator/stairs or doorway before checking a map or whatever. :-)

Laquitar · 13/02/2014 23:35

I Find villages more scary especially in the evening, and if i am alone in the countryside i freak out.
Honestly it is safer to be among lots of people.
If you tell us the area we can help you.

It is going to be very tiring though if you go back on the same day. Get a nice book for the 5hrs journey and a bag of jelly bellies.

takingthathometomomma · 13/02/2014 23:46

You'll be fine. Check out your route before you travel around and you'll have no problems. I've lived in London my entire life and never know where I'm going. I Google map everything (Smartphone in hand - possibly not the smartest thing to do yet I've never been eyeballed or mugged.)

As for Nandos, other posters are right - it is just fast food with knives and forks. And bloody delicious too. If you don't have one near you, definitely go for it!

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