AIBU...DP and London

[Bazoo23]

I have recently started a new job and as part of this job I have to attend a training day in London.
We live about 5 hours from London. My employer will pay my train fare and I just assumed my partner would come with me.
However when I got the date through it falls week after we are away for a week.
My DP said hed be pushing his luck to ask for a day off so soon and wont even try.
AIBU to feel hurt that he doesnt seem worried about me goig alone? We are from a very small town and I am really nervous of being alone im a big city. Im also worried about travelling back in the evening.
I feel like it will be so obvious I have no clue what Im doing that I will be an easy target :-(

I share a job with 2 others. Once a year one of us has do do a course in London, the others refuse to go as they're scared. I think it's hard to empathise if you're used to a big city.
Just have plenty of time, plan your tube journey and go early to do some shopping. It'll be absolutely fine, honest.

I didnt say I was asking for travel advice! I said I will ask for it elsewhere.
I dont even have the venue name yet.

OP, why not name change and do a thread for travel advice, you'll get lots of help.

Fucking hell, some of the replies on here are just bloody nasty.

As someone who has previously suffered with anxiety (and to be fair, at the time I would hardly leave the house on my own) I think people could be more supportive.

OP, you will be fine. London is so set up for people travelling all over it that it's pretty easy. Print out a tube map (if you're planning on using it) just in case there are any problems.

She'll get help anyway, really no need for a name change.

Thanks for the helpful responses. Maybe Ill give NM a try.

Yep, half term.

I don't think you can expect your partner to take a day off to go with you. But on the other hand I know some people would not want to travel alone. No matter how much reassurance they are given that it will be fine. Logically speaking you will be fine but your still nervous about it. It probably would have been better if you had taken a job which did not involve travelling. But you have. So you will either have to opt out with an excuse or go.

OP I think you're well able for the worst that London can throw at you!

Why would you need your DH to look after you? I get that London is a big city and can feel quite daunting but still, its a bit much to expect an escort.

I travelled to London from Yorkshire by train when I was 18 for a uni interview. I was a bit nervous as I'd not been further than the next city on my own (parents were very pfb with me) but I survived and loved it.

What would your DH do while you're busy all day? Sit around waiting for you? Short of you needing physical help to get around, I can't see the point of him making a 10 hour round trip just to hold your hand.

For someone who is worried about being an easy target OP you're being pretty free and easy with the personal attacks yourself. Reported

Is your partner very controlling? am struggling to work out whether you're being rather wet about this (particularly in light of your extensive foreign travel), or if he's crushed you into being utterly dependent on him.

I moved from a small Derbyshire village to London to go to Uni when I was 18. *Nostalgic sigh8. It was bloody brilliant and you'll be fine, OP. London is a fab place and very easy to get around. Ignore the sarky unpleasant heifers.

Yes, YABU.

Stop moaning that your boyfriend sees you as a capable woman and get your travel plans sorted so you know where you're going. Do you really want him to be fretting that you can't cope with a train journey?!

I don't exactly suffer from anxiety in general, but travelling far on my own is something I would find intimidating tbh, so I understand you. It wasn't unreasonable to ask your dp to come with you, but if he can't then you would be unreasonable to be upset about it. As worried as you might be once you do it you will be fine and will probably enjoy the freedom.
People shouldn't be getting aggressive imo. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and like the op doing things like this is my weakness. I'm still a fully functioning adult with lots of responsibilities I handle quite well as I'm sure the op is. Really no need to be nasty.

What would your dh have done anyway? Just sit on a train for 10 hrs and wait around 5 hours whilst your busy?

Personally I can't see the point in travelling 5 hours and going home same eve. Just arrive, course , then have the late afternoon and all eve to shop/ explore/ eat out/ stay in hotel. Explore the next morning then head home

I really think you sound like you need to something alone and think for yourself. At 21 I was on a flight to Singapore alone with a 1 year old and 6 week old, had to find accommodation and settle in alone until dh arrived 2 weeks later! Use the Internet, ask people, have confidence. We now live in London. Iv never felt safer, there's so many people around its generally safer than a small remote village

You'll be fine, OP, & think about what a boost to your confidence it will be when you cope perfectly well without your partner there.

I have a shit sense of direction & was not totally confident navigating my way round London, using the tube etc., at your age - sad but true! I was also from a small town, but had lived in a city from 18, so not sure what my excuse was - I guess London just felt different & yes, a bit intimidating. But it's really not that difficult & you'll be absolutely fine.

Yabu in expecting your DH to go with you.

I can see how London would appear nerve wracking but actually going on your own would be a good thing, an achievement.

I live in London, it's not that bad. Just remember to stand on the right of the escalators!

Lots of people say London is a (huge) collection of small villages, it looks daunting but remember a lot of others will be visiting for the first time like you. Providing you know your routes and have money in your pocket (well, stashed away sensibly) you will be fine OP. Any time I've been, fellow passengers seem friendly and staff are helpful.

DP would go too if he could but you know you were being a bit unreasonable, try not to guilt trip him.

I'm sure if you PM the posters offering genuinely helpful advice they will help.

My dd1 is 18 she went to london by herself to a uni open day.

She googled any information she could think of.
When you get to london stations there are maps for tubes you can pick up easily.

It really is so easy to get around, and as said before people are generally helpful as they are used to lost looking tourists

I don't think you can expect your dp to have to go with you.
Go for it and enjoy your day.

OP, I think this is something you probably need to do alone. It will be good for you and boost your confidence and stop you from becoming co-dependent on your DP. I live here and it's fine, honestly :) PM me if you need some advice on how to get where you need to go etc.

God, I remember coming into London about 20 years ago and going over Vauxhall Bridge into Vauxhall and being terrified, convinced they would know I was from the country and mug me It never happened, but it was daunting.

As Nancy said lots of people are wandering around London looking lost, including Londoners (we dont know every area), but, seriously despite its reputation it is actually fairly friendly. Once you know where you are coming into and where you want to go there are loads of us to talk you through your journey, and help with the areas. Good planning beforehand will really help.

I think if its worrying you, then it could make you more anxious then you need to be, if that makes sense. Dont worry we`ll get you safely to your destination

Gawd, I used to bunk off and hang round the Trocadero when I was 11.
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