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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU...DP and London

221 replies

Bazoo23 · 12/02/2014 15:16

I have recently started a new job and as part of this job I have to attend a training day in London.
We live about 5 hours from London. My employer will pay my train fare and I just assumed my partner would come with me.
However when I got the date through it falls week after we are away for a week.
My DP said hed be pushing his luck to ask for a day off so soon and wont even try.
AIBU to feel hurt that he doesnt seem worried about me goig alone? We are from a very small town and I am really nervous of being alone im a big city. Im also worried about travelling back in the evening.
I feel like it will be so obvious I have no clue what Im doing that I will be an easy target :-(

OP posts:
handcream · 12/02/2014 19:13

I have to say - I blame the parents. Bringing up a child who is scared to go into London without her partner!

Thing is there are parents who wouldnt dream of letting their darling child go on a tube or bus by themselves. Resulting in this! Sorry, but its a bit pathetic.... An easy target for what exactly....

GoldenBeagle · 12/02/2014 19:13

When your pack arrives tell us the train station you will arrive at and the tube station closest to the training venue, and we will help Smile.

While travelling about in London, Londoners are actually quite helpful and friendly to bemused visitors. The worst that can happen is that you ask another visitor, ask someone who doesn't speak English, or ask someone who says 'sorry I don't know'.

The other worst that can happen is you get on the wrong tube line or go in the wrong direction. That is easily sorted, you just get off and go back, your fare is on entering and leaving - you can get lost as much as you like underground without having to go in and out of stations at extra cost.

You will be fine in the evening, London is a busy social city and many people stay in town for a drink, you won't be walking along dark unlit deserted streets!

Congratulations on your new job.

Original poster
Bazoo23 · 12/02/2014 19:16

handcream you know fuck all about my parents or upbringing so dont go there!

OP posts:
HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 12/02/2014 19:17

Bazoo honey you will be fine and have a lovely time. Just think of how proud of yourself you will be after!

Come back next week when you get your joining instructions and I'm sure MN will rise to the occasion and help with tips and hints on travel etc. Just maybe don't post in AIBU!

JeanSeberg · 12/02/2014 19:19

Quite feisty for someone who's scared to travel aren't you OP.

YellowTulips · 12/02/2014 19:19

And here I was thinking I was actually being quite grown up and magnanimous given some of your (now deleted) outbursts below. Meh...

handcream · 12/02/2014 19:19

So, clearly your parents raised a confident child who can get around London without a minder.... Sorry but London is not a war zone and you cannot expect anyone to hand hold you. Clearly your DP thought so too....

Original poster
Bazoo23 · 12/02/2014 19:20

but the thing is Im fine with being told IABU! Its just the spite I dont get.

OP posts:
brooncoo · 12/02/2014 19:22

Think folk forget it can be quite daunting doing something like this on your own. Te tube can be quite confusing when you first use it - especially if on your own. OP just ask, ask, ask - people will help you and point you in the right direction. If you are really not sure - just get a taxi.

Helpyourself · 12/02/2014 19:26

Well this isn't very nice. Shock
OP you'll be fine, but do start another thread and nice Londoners will help you plan a route.
Good Luck!

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/02/2014 19:28

You're being a bit daft op. You will be fine. Your dp is not being unreasonable.

I can understand you being a bit apprehensive but really, I'm 25 and have only been to London a handful of times, once done it on my own. It was fine.

You've said you've travelled, so - just look like you know what you're doing there. You won't be there long. Bet you enjoy it in the end.

I was so pleased with myself at negotiating the tube on my own Grin

handcream · 12/02/2014 19:30

I think this might be a joke thread. The OP claims to have travelled to other parts of the world (just not alone!). You did ask whether you were being reasonable.

No you arent being reasonable. And your answers are being deleted so perhaps you need to think why that this. Put your energy towards surviving the London trip as opposed to shouting and swearing at others...

Guitargirl · 12/02/2014 19:31

Once you know where your course is going to be held, Transport for London website will be your friend. You just type in your postcode into the journey planner and the postcode of where you're going and it will tell you the quickest route or the route with the fewest changes if that's what you prefer.

To be honest I would just avoid the tube and get the bus instead, you will see much more, it is less anxiety-inducing and you will get a much better sense of where you are from above ground. Again TfL is your friend or if you want to PM me I can help with bus routes.

I know you said you would be working the next day but if you can then I would take the day off, book yourself into a hotel and spend the next day exploring. Think about how great it will feel and what a boost to your confidence it will be.

And YABVU to expect your DP to take a day off to accompany you.

handcream · 12/02/2014 19:32

Op is in the medical profession. Isnt that a bit worrying? If she worries about going to London alone what about when she is carrying out her job??

HolgerDanske · 12/02/2014 19:33

No I don't think that's particularly worrying. It's perfectly possible to be very confident and able in one or more areas of one's life and still feel utterly anxious about something else.

Original poster
Bazoo23 · 12/02/2014 19:34

handcream why are you getting so nasty and personal?

OP posts:
LoonvanBoon · 12/02/2014 19:36

Isn't it quite normal to have worries about some (apparently trivial) things but to function as a competent adult in other areas, handcream?

If OP is confident in her abilities in her job, there's no reason to think there's anything "worrying" about her being a medic, surely? The point is she's NOT confident in navigating round London. I was a nervous, anxious (new) driver at the same time I was being an effective, competent teacher at work - the former didn't have any bearing on the latter!

Original poster
Bazoo23 · 12/02/2014 19:39

bringing up my parents and questioning my ability at work when my confidence isnt exactly sky high right now is a bit low really.

OP posts:
Joysmum · 12/02/2014 19:41

I live 70 miles away from London but get more anxious if I need to use local public transport because I'm not used to it. London I'm entirely happy with as I do it regularly now.

I've got 2 great apps on my iPhone that are invaluable, Nearest Tube and Tube Delux. For nearest tube you just point it in any direction and it tells you how far each station is and the lines it is on in the direction you are facing. Tube Delux plans your journey for you and will avoid engineering works etc. They really are fab.

PinkyHasNoEars · 12/02/2014 19:41

I'm such a country bumpkin that I practically have straw in my hair and oh, the ecstacy of being stopped and asked directions last time I was in London.

First I was so proud as I thought I must look like I knew what the bloody hell I was doing...then I realised that on any given day in London about half of the people wandering around don't know where the fuck they are.

Joysmum · 12/02/2014 19:42

Bazzoo don't worry about Handcream as she's clearly not worth bothering about. I'd rather have insecurities than be rude Wink

persimmon · 12/02/2014 19:44

If you can read the A-Z and the Tube map, you'll be fine. I lived in London for years. If you need help, ask. Contrary to popular belief, I found most people in London kind and helpful if they could be.

singaporefling · 12/02/2014 19:45

Bazoo i love some of your replies to some of the more 'critical/negative' responses! I too KNOW you'll be just fine! I travel to London from ooop north every few weeks and have done for ahem nearly 30 years... Have also travelled all over the world alone, but certain aspects of London/tube/whizzybusyness STILL make me a wee bit nervous Blush but in truth i've always been fine and various staff/taxis/bus drivers have always been unstingtingly helpful. DD1 (20) is studying in london now and we race/whizz round everywhere like locals, have a fabulous time !

LoonvanBoon · 12/02/2014 19:45

It can be a strength to admit to weaknesses & anxieties, Bazoo23, & to ask for help when you need it. Perhaps there are some mega confident people out there who sail through everything in life without a moment of self-doubt, but I don't know any in real life!

Everyone I know who has moved to London (from pretty much anywhere else in the UK) has taken a bit of time to adjust. I know you're not moving there, but I'm just saying I think it's quite normal for anyone who grew up some distance from London to see it as "different" & possibly a bit scary at first.

Your ability at work has absolutely nothing to do with your ability to negotiate the tube system - please don't take these snide comments to heart.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 12/02/2014 19:51

yabu

Spend out for a taxi from the train station if you're so nervous

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