AIBU...DP and London

[Bazoo23]

I have recently started a new job and as part of this job I have to attend a training day in London.
We live about 5 hours from London. My employer will pay my train fare and I just assumed my partner would come with me.
However when I got the date through it falls week after we are away for a week.
My DP said hed be pushing his luck to ask for a day off so soon and wont even try.
AIBU to feel hurt that he doesnt seem worried about me goig alone? We are from a very small town and I am really nervous of being alone im a big city. Im also worried about travelling back in the evening.
I feel like it will be so obvious I have no clue what Im doing that I will be an easy target :-(

YABVVVU and really need to grow a pair! Ridiculous to be scared of London, it's a first world city you know and the people there speak English so you can always ask someone for help if you get lost or confused. do grown women who can VOTE and all that really need their husbands to accompany them to the big smoke in case there are nasty people there? Holy Jesus.

God, I remember being allowed to go on the tube on my own at 14 and it being the biggest adventure. I also grew up in the sticks with no experience of big cities, but don't you think it might be exciting?

X post with Mary, but London is one if the easiest cities to get around.

It is all in a grid map/route, everywhere is well signposted, it doesn't take long to walk anywhere, anyway.

I go regularly, on my own and with DD's, for Theatre breaks.

The Tube staff are lovely, I am surprised by how helpful the bus drivers are, as well.

It is as safe as any city.

Trains are a very safe way if getting about, the conductors are up and down after every station.

If groups of stags/football supporters etc are travelling, there is sometimes a police preceding, so a lid is kept on rowdy behaviour.

I travel from Liverpool to all over the country, I always feel safe around London, even walking around Camden/Brixton from Concerts at night.

Yes don't worry about easy targets, there are far easier than you. Like my Chinese mate's tiny, v wealthy mother who has been mugged practically every time she's been to London and wandered about on her own. Not 21 year olds who speak the language.

It'll be liberating OP. Just think how great you'll feel when you've done it. The fear of big, scary, unknown things is generally a million times worse than the reality. You'll get to London and find it's just a place, like lots of other places. It may be busier than what you're used to but - as someone else said - it's not a war zone!

Plan the journey, allow yourself plenty of time, and just do it. You might even enjoy it :)

Thanks Nancy I dont have the name of the venue yet my info packs due to arrive next week.
Ill PM you or start a new thread if thats ok theres people on this one being needlessly nasty but hey if thats their only pleasure in life!

I agree you'll be fine! Mumsnet L

Are you really 21? Is your DP really your mum?

... Mumsnet Londoners will help you plan you're route etc if you post here I'm sure.

you're?! AAARGH. your.

Another YABU here

Just plan your journey and check out the TFL website.

Once you've settled into your new job, perhaps think about visiting some bigger towns and cities.

If it's a 5 hour journey does that mean you're staying over OP?

Although the first time using the Tube as an adult, I couldn't work out how to get out, to change Lines and feared that I'd have to live in the Tube system.

I must if been standing with a look if terror on my face.

A lovely little old man tapped me on the shoulder and all I had to do was turn around and the out barriers were in front of me.

YABU, and a little pathetic tbh.

You should be pleased that your DP doesn't feel the need to come with you instead of feeling hurt, it probably means he sees you as a capable adult.

There are people younger than you that have travelled the world alone FFS.

theres people on this one being needlessly nasty

That's in reaction to the person on this thread being needlessly needy. WTF do you think the 6 million people living in London do?

If you aren't used to navigating around big cities by yourself I can understand why you might be feeling a bit apprehensive, but honestly you can do this and it will be fine! Like others have said you just need to plan a route in advance to keep your anxiety at bay. It will be great, honestly

OP I'm also happy to offer practical advice when you know where you're going as I travel regularly to and around London.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Btw, OP, London is bloody awesome! You might enjoy it, you never know. Will you have any time for sightseeing or going out for dinner / theatre? When I was 21 (looks back through mists of time), it was the most exciting place in the world to live and have fun

Worra Ive been all over the world including Argentina , Canada Australia etc etc.
just never alone.And London just seems really really daunting I dont know why.

Yes, London can be intimidating if you've never travelled to a big city before, but planning, as many previous posters have commented, is definitely the key.

There is lots of information on the Transport for London website with route planners, maps and so on. You can buy an Oyster card online and get it posted to you, so you don't have to queue at a ticket office or machine.

If you don't want to take public transport, you can get a black cab from whatever mainline station you arrive at. Taxi ranks are usually signposted within the station, and there are often 'marshalls' to assist.

There are lots of uniformed people in London (tube staff, police officers, PCSOs etc etc) who will all assist with any queries you have. Most Londoners will too, in spite of their reputation for unfriendliness.

Some simple precautions are always necessary wherever you travel to, never mind London - keep your handbag zipped up and under your arm, try not to use your smartphone out on the street etc, don't walk down dark alleyways, don't get in unlicensed minicabs.

Yes, if you're travelling at rush hour, people will push past you and walk quicker than you, but provided you're not standing stock-still in the middle of a narrow corridoor in a tube station, then just carry on at your own pace.

I'm sure you will be fine and confident, and have no trouble at all !

If you've been to those other places then London will probably seem like a walk in the park OP- you'll be fine, just try not to worry about it.

No not staying over.

Nobody has been needlessly nasty. This is AIBU, I think you have got off pretty lightly actually

Oh I get it! Your off to London during half term and your embarrassed that your school friends will realize its the first time your Mum has let you go on your own. Awww, sweet.

That can be the only explaination for your frankly pathetic reply to yellow

Think people are being rather harsh on the OP here.

She's 21, a lot younger than, I at least, imagined when I opened the thread. Some people are still very much on the borderline between adult and young adult at that age. I probably was and I had a 2 year old!

OP, I do think YABU, you can't expect your partner to go with you. And you do need to address your anxiety. But you need support to do that, not abuse. London really isn't that difficult. If you know where you need to get to just use tfl to plan your journey. Even if you look clueless nobody will hurt you. Good luck.