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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this mother needs reporting?

191 replies

piklepants · 30/01/2014 04:37

School pick up yesterday and one Mum picked her 4 yr old son up and she was wobbly drunk smelling of alcohol. A couple of other mums noticed (She wasn't driving but this is stil not on is it?) she was speaking to a teacher and I'm not sure if the teacher noticed but I saw teacher watch them walk away. Wwyd?

OP posts:
volestair · 30/01/2014 05:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairy1303 · 30/01/2014 05:19

Talk to the school. If you noticed, I'm sure the teacher noticed and if she was that drunk her breath would have smelled.

I would let them deal with it tbh, it might have been a one off, been for celebratory lunch or something, and she wasn't driving.

If it was everyday then perhaps think again.

littlewhitebag · 30/01/2014 06:21

I think it depends if this is a daily occurence or if it is a one off. She may have been out for a celebratory lunch or perhaps she had bad news that day. If the mum was talking to a teacher then I am sure she would have noticed. If I was you I would do nothing but maybe be alert to that mum and see if it happens again. If it does then speak to the school about your concerns and they can pass them in to the appropriate agency if need be.

redshifter · 30/01/2014 06:37

I wouldn't report unless it was a regular thing.

DrNick · 30/01/2014 06:37

Teacher would have noticed. Or mums been out infor a boozy lunch with her mates

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2014 06:39

I would only report if it happened regularly. It's possible she's had some bad news and got a bit drunk.

Once, I'd give benefit of the doubt.

Crowler · 30/01/2014 06:40

Similar thing happened to me a few months back. The step-mother of one of my friend's son's smelled strongly of alcohol at the school gates (but didn't seem drunk). It was a bit awkward.

DrNick · 30/01/2014 06:42

Was she incapable? If not butt out

Thumbwitch · 30/01/2014 06:51

If she wasn't driving then you should not report her yourself; but if you felt the need, you could talk to the teacher and ask if the mum was all right because she looked very wobbly.

If it's a one-off then reporting her would be very OTT; but if it happens more than once you would be best off mentioning it to the school so that they can follow whatever protocol they have in place.

ITCouldBeWorse · 30/01/2014 06:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheXxed · 30/01/2014 06:54

Picking up a child from school drunk is NOT NORMAL, report her. FFS

happystory · 30/01/2014 06:58

All I know is that at nursery level a child will not be released to an adult under the influence......

Doingakatereddy · 30/01/2014 07:00

I'm with thexxd, it is not normal to be drunk at 4pm when picking kids up

SolomanDaisy · 30/01/2014 07:04

Of course it's not normal to be drunk at 4 o'clock, but lots of perfectly responsible adults have a drink at lunchtime for a special occasion. Reporting for a one off daytime drinking incident is ridiculous and a waste of social services time.

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 30/01/2014 07:04

I'm really surprised so many have said not to report it. It is not normal or acceptable to be drunk and wobbly when you pick a four year old up from school. Or any kid, for that matter. How can you look after a four year old when you can't walk straight?

WitchWay · 30/01/2014 07:06

It's not good to be wobbling drunk at 4pm but as mentioned above she could just have had a boozy lunch - alcohol tends to make people drunker at lunchtime. Have you seen her like this before? If not I'd leave it for now - as you said, she wasn't driving.

ll31 · 30/01/2014 07:06

Ott to rpt unless it's not one off.

DrNick · 30/01/2014 07:07

This isn't America. ;)

We can drink and look after kids.

NCISaddict · 30/01/2014 07:10

It could have been her birthday/wedding anniversary or a more sad anniversary about which you know nothing and she's been out for a good lunch.
If she's not used to alcohol then it would have more of a visible effect, leave the poor woman alone unless it is obvious it's a regular occurrence.

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 30/01/2014 07:11

OP, I would report it to the the school, not SS. Like others have said, it could just be a one-off, but equally, it could be a regular pattern of behaviour and if it is, then the school will need as much evidence as possible before they report it to SS.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2014 07:11

No ones said it's normal or even an acceptable thing to do. However it's more than possible the woman's been to a funeral and a wake and understandably having a bad day.

If she turns up drunk again I'd happily report but as a one off i wouldn't.

SolomanDaisy · 30/01/2014 07:14

The gaggle of gossiping mums sound like they'd have noticed if it was more than a one off.

HappyMummyOfOne · 30/01/2014 07:14

I'd would have gone in and seen the head, its not normal to be wobbly drunk in the day picking children up from school regardless of the circumstances. Surprised so many think its fine.

FourArms · 30/01/2014 07:15

I sent DH to pick up the DSs after our Christmas end of term drink in the pub because I was worried they wouldn't let me have them - I'd had one G&T but I'm a lightweight with alcohol. Actually we stand so far away from the door of the classroom that no-one would ever know.

I'd say report to school - they might then watch for a trend.

Sillybillybob · 30/01/2014 07:22

Who has said its fine?! No one!

People are just saying that IF it is a one-off (and OP hasn't mentioned having noticed it before) then there MAY be a reason for it. It's far from ideal to collect your child whilst visibly drunk but perhaps she lost a baby the year before. Perhaps a parent had died. Perhaps a close family member had been diagnosed with cancer. There are a million and one reasons why a person may have a drink during the day when normally that would be unacceptable to them. As many many posters had said she could have been to a funeral.

I am amazed that so many of don't seem to know anyone who has ever needed a drink to get through one of the harder days in life: