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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this mother needs reporting?

191 replies

piklepants · 30/01/2014 04:37

School pick up yesterday and one Mum picked her 4 yr old son up and she was wobbly drunk smelling of alcohol. A couple of other mums noticed (She wasn't driving but this is stil not on is it?) she was speaking to a teacher and I'm not sure if the teacher noticed but I saw teacher watch them walk away. Wwyd?

OP posts:

Thebluedog · 30/01/2014 14:49

I'd speak to the school about it. My bil has diabetes and sometimes, if he has a wobble, his symptoms can look like he's drunk, (and the smell in his breath isn't dissimilar either) but a drink of fizzy pop sorts him out.

Going around reporting or telling people she's drunk could leave you with egg on your face. I'd have a quite word with the school as a 'concerned parent' as things can sometimes not be as they seem.

Thebluedog · 30/01/2014 14:50

Sorry just seen bochead has said something similar below - x post

StealthPolarBear · 30/01/2014 14:55

It's illegal to be drunk while looking after children? ? Thsts me banged up and most mners on the friday night thread!

FanFuckingTastic · 30/01/2014 14:59

I'd be more likely to be wobbly on my feet smelling of alcohol when I had a hangover, rather than when I was drunk. Never seem to smell alcohol until the next day, when the very thought makes me feel sick and ...funnily enough... wobbly.

I guess there could be reasons to explain it, and reasons why you should mention it to the school. I don't get the zero tolerance on alcohol if you have kids thing, bit harsh, I can't believe it's against the law.

Bowlersarm · 30/01/2014 15:04

Google says it's against the law to bd drunk in charge of a child under 7 in a public place.

But I don't think the immediate course of action is to report her. Many mothers have done this on the odd occasion.

Maybe you could have spoken to her op, and made sure she was ok?

ColdTeaAgain · 30/01/2014 17:19

kewcumber The OP described the lady as "wobbly drunk smelling of alcohol" which in my eyes is quite different to being a bit tipsy. No need to be patronising.

Kewcumber · 30/01/2014 17:27

what exactly is the difference between being tipsy and drunk . My child is over 7 though so I guess I don't need to report myself. There's no need to be patronising but sometimes blanket statements like "How is picking a child up from school drunk ok, in any circumstance?" should be challenged and I'm a passive aggressive kinda gal.

I don;t think its OK to be incapacitated but a one off wobble because of a birthday lunch is a bit differnt to turning up once a week slurring your words and unable to walk straight.

Personally I wouldn't worry as the person in question was talking to a teacher. It would have been obvious to the teacher whether there was a problem.

Speeding is also illegal and dangerous - would you report someone for speeding? Probably not unless they did it regularly and you thought it was a problem I would guess.

ColdTeaAgain · 30/01/2014 17:35

OK well I see tipsy as when you have just started to feel the alcohol i.e. well before you get to the point where you're wobbly on your feet, whereas I see drunk as 'one too many', unable to function normally, etc etc. That is not a fit state to pick a child up from school. I am not saying that anyone at the school gates who's had one or two at lunch should be reported to SS immediately!

weregoingtothezoo · 30/01/2014 19:31

I had my daughter removed from me because of a persistent alcohol problem and I think turning up under the influence at school is a very late sign. As for a one off? - I don't know, maybe that's more common than I'd realised but when I've been for eg work Christmas lunches people off to pick up children didn't drink. I don't know much about normal behaviour around alcohol but a fair bit about abnormal behaviour.

Schools should not release the child - in certain schools this is a fairly frequent occurrence as there is such a proportion of children coming from homes where substance including alcohol are a problem. For some schools, this is more a theoretical scenario when they get sat down to do their safeguarding training, so they're a bit less likely to go, hold on, no you don't take that child in that state...

When my drinking was becoming a problem and I was full of fear, and denial, and worry, I would go to great lengths to conceal it - I think that is common for people with a problem. It never became visible at nursery/ school drop offs. I would be really quite worried about someone turning up in this state mainly for this reason.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 30/01/2014 20:33

did you get your daughter back zoo?

rabbitlady · 30/01/2014 20:34

absolutely essential to mention it to the school formally, in person not in writing.
also inform social services, if you can identify the mother and give the address.
it is not ok to be drunk in charge of a child, even once, despite what other posters seem to think.

Coldlightofday · 30/01/2014 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack · 30/01/2014 20:44

You're contradicting yourself there dudey. It's equally possible that she turned up "in that state" quite simply because she doesn't have a drink problem to hide.

Coldlightofday · 30/01/2014 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenBehavingBadly · 30/01/2014 20:56

^absolutely essential to mention it to the school formally, in person not in writing.
also inform social services, if you can identify the mother and give the address.
it is not ok to be drunk in charge of a child, even once, despite what other posters seem to think.^

Aaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Ahhhaahaahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!

Oh... you're not actually being funny are you.

NCISaddict · 30/01/2014 21:02

Blimey, I'm glad no one was around when my DC's were at primary school. I didn't do it often but have had the odd boozy lunch, no idea if I was wobbly because no one reported me but I certainly couldn't and didn't drive. There was always someone else, generally DH, with me and DC's were perfectly safe.
As an occasional happening I would not even give it a second thought and certainly wouldn't contemplate reporting it.

Coldlightofday · 30/01/2014 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frumpet · 30/01/2014 21:10

I am a bit wobbly if i wear anything above a one inch heel , its nice you noticed OP and by all means keep a beady eye out for future occurances , maybe even speak to a teacher .

JenBehavingBadly · 30/01/2014 21:10

Maybe they'd offer a salty snack?

Coldlightofday · 30/01/2014 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenBehavingBadly · 30/01/2014 21:14

Cheese and grapes?

SaucyJack · 30/01/2014 21:17

Maybe a complementary Marlboro Light?

Coldlightofday · 30/01/2014 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenBehavingBadly · 30/01/2014 21:19

Pah! Now you're being ridiculous.

Budget cuts to the public services mean you'd be offered a roly and possibly only even twos on that.

Marlboro Lights indeed.

JenBehavingBadly · 30/01/2014 21:19

Kebabs!

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