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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this mother needs reporting?

191 replies

piklepants · 30/01/2014 04:37

School pick up yesterday and one Mum picked her 4 yr old son up and she was wobbly drunk smelling of alcohol. A couple of other mums noticed (She wasn't driving but this is stil not on is it?) she was speaking to a teacher and I'm not sure if the teacher noticed but I saw teacher watch them walk away. Wwyd?

OP posts:
midnightagents · 30/01/2014 08:38

:/ I often have a pint or two before picking dd up, in fact there is a pub next to the nursery she goes to- which I regularly see mums smoking outside of (presumably whilst drinking inside) before pick up.

I didn't realise this was such a big deal! Must have different standards down our part of the world Wink

Songofsixpence · 30/01/2014 08:39

If it was the first time I'd noticed I'd not be doing anything. She spoke to the teacher who will have noticed and will know if it's a regular thing.

I went out for lunch before Christmas, I had 1 white wine spritzer and 1 glass of Pimms. The combination of not being the worlds biggest drinker with drinking at lunchtime meant it affected me. I wasn't fall down pished but I was a bit wobbly on my feet (I wasn't picking my kids up)

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 30/01/2014 08:42

If it was that obvious to you from a distance then I am pretty certain it was obvious to the teacher she spoke to. I don't thing you need to do anything.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 30/01/2014 08:43

Think not thing

LEMmingaround · 30/01/2014 08:46

Are you sure she wasn't diabetic? Did anyone ask her if she was ok?

MeepMeepVrooooom · 30/01/2014 08:47

YWBU to report. You have no idea why she had had a drink. She spoke to a teacher, if there was cause for concern they would report.

MeepMeepVrooooom · 30/01/2014 08:51

Also, if you were close enough to smell the alcohol why not just ask if she'd had a nice day? You may have found out she had a nice child free lunch, or a multitude of other things.

I've got to say, there is a difference between genuine concern and maliciously reporting someone.

Lonecatwithkitten · 30/01/2014 09:03

Being a separated parent with a child whose other parent drinks a lot I can tell you that it is very hard and one single report is not sufficient to do something about being drunk and caring for children.
Concerns need to be raised over a period of time, evidence needs to be gathered and often until a child discloses to an independent adult a fear there is very little that can be done.
Once you are at the level that something can be done it becomes really, really horrible for everybody involved.

Birdsgottafly · 30/01/2014 09:08

I have picked my children up when tipsy.

I often have a long wee and then sober up, it's very annoying on a night out.

I recover very quickly when I eat something as well.

So, as said, it depends on whether it is regular, then it would be worth mentioning it to the teacher.

Once in a while, is fine. I have left celebrations/leaving do's/wakes, picked up my children and dropped them off at my Mums/friends, then gone back out again.

It's less of a problem than sitting that night as a LP getting drunk in the house, as I know many do.

If it was a problem, all of the holiday/chalet/camping type places would close, because practically every parent drinks, with children in tow.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/01/2014 09:14

So it would be ok if a teacher had a glass of wine or two at lunch time 'as a one off?'
Or a child minder reeking of booze when you go to pick your child up?

Didn't think so.

Don't presume the teacher noticed OP, have a word with her tomorrow. If the woman was smelling of booze then it sounds like it was more than just a glass at lunchtime.

littleblackno · 30/01/2014 09:14

Since when is it illegal to be drunk and in charge of a child? How is that policed? I think that a huge number of parent would be in trouble if that were enforced.

I agree to mind your own business unless you think its a regular thing, then raise your concerns with the school.

Original poster
piklepants · 30/01/2014 09:15

Lol birds at have a long wee and then sober up!! Thanks I can see the general consensus here is leave it or mention to teacher and let them deal with it. Out of curiosity what will their protocol be? Once or twice with good reason ok? But not regularly? And maybe if other parents were noticing and mentioning then

OP posts:
Original poster
piklepants · 30/01/2014 09:15

They would take it further?

OP posts:
littleblackno · 30/01/2014 09:16

dame there is a huge difference between someone being paid to look after your child drinking and making the judgement as a parent to have a glass of wine.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/01/2014 09:20

One glass of wine is unlikely to have you staggering at the school gates and reeking of booze.

MeepMeepVrooooom · 30/01/2014 09:21

Dame get a grip. Can you not see the massive difference?

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2014 09:22

Have you met my mother dame

She gets "merry" on one glass :o

If someone hasn't eaten it would affect them more.

MeepMeepVrooooom · 30/01/2014 09:23

Even if she had 3 so what? I was in charge of DD at my birthday party and drank more than that.

Alcohol has different affects on different people.

SaucyJack · 30/01/2014 09:24

I can only assume this thread is a wind-up.

Someone turned up to school after a pub lunch. Woo fucking hoo.

Lagoonablue · 30/01/2014 09:25

It is a criminal offence to be drunk in charge of child and has been for a long time. Doesn't matter how it can be policed. It is a law.

I can't believe that people are saying it is not OPs business or instead suggesting people try and some sort of assessment themselves. It is a child safeguarding issue. The correct response would be to tell the school.

This happened at our school. The police were called by the head.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/01/2014 09:29

Giles-actually I'm the same but I wouldn't be smelling so strongly of booze other people could smell it.

I'm horrified people think this is acceptable. It's not ok to rock up to the school gates pissed or even slightly tipsy.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/01/2014 09:31

Meep-I have a grip thanksSmile

There isn't a difference imo, you are still in charge of a small child and shouldn't be pissed.

growingolddicustingly · 30/01/2014 09:31

As others have mentioned up thread it may be that the woman has a medical condition, perhaps diabetes. I know from experience with my late DH and his DSis that this can happen. Poor DSis almost got a reputation as the town lush because her diabetes and MS combined made her fall over and smell drunk.

Tailtwister · 30/01/2014 09:33

If she was obviously under the influence to you, I'm sure the teacher noticed. Tbh I wouldn't do anything, especially if it was a one off. This thread has really made me think, as I'm planning a lunch out with a friend tomorrow and although I won't be having more than one glass of wine, I may well still smell of alcohol. Don't want to cause gossip at the school gates!

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/01/2014 09:33

I repeat NO ONE has said it's ok.

Just that there might be extenuating circumstances. And unless it happens again to keep out.