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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this mother needs reporting?

191 replies

piklepants · 30/01/2014 04:37

School pick up yesterday and one Mum picked her 4 yr old son up and she was wobbly drunk smelling of alcohol. A couple of other mums noticed (She wasn't driving but this is stil not on is it?) she was speaking to a teacher and I'm not sure if the teacher noticed but I saw teacher watch them walk away. Wwyd?

OP posts:
rabbitlady · 30/01/2014 21:20

Oh... you're not actually being funny are you.

mousmous · 30/01/2014 21:20

blimey, this is really weird.
so many parents admitting to having a problem with alkohol.
personally I don't drink, I don't mind people having a limited amount, but getting drunk is such a waste (of money, time, memories).

imo the op should talk to the school/the teacher. if the mother has a medical problem that might already be noted. and if not it might be part of a bigger case.

JenBehavingBadly · 30/01/2014 21:22

oh come on rabbitlady. If you're going to come out with that kind of pompous toss, you should expect to be called on it.

Coldlightofday · 30/01/2014 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dromedary · 30/01/2014 21:26

So fed up with the people who want to report mums to SS if there's the slightest sign of imperfect parenting. And who assume that they know better than trained school staff. I just hope that someone makes that cowardly anonymous call to SS the moment they have a bad day. They rarely seem to be the person who goes up to the mum who's had too much to drink, or is tired and frazzled, or who is in a terrible state because her DH has just left, etc etc and has a chat and maybe offers to help out.

CherryRainbowwitch · 30/01/2014 21:44

i had an experience just like this very recently. A mum at my dd's school turned up drunk and wobbly to pick her son up. i know she was drunk because i spoke to her to check she was ok. she said she had found out a family member had died so had drowned her sorrows. she told me she had been worried about the teacher so had stood back and not said anything.

My first though was not oh i must phone social services it was, i must make sure they are both OK. i took them both home (opposite direction to mine) checked she had someone with her and gave her my mobile number. My concern at that time was that mum was ok and there was someone to look after her son.

however the next day i did take the teacher aside and inform her what had happened. i did this not because i wanted to interfere but for the sake of my own conscience. the school have it on record and if any thing else happens they will be able to take action and make sure mum and child receive any help they might need.

i honestly dont understand peoples need to stand back and judge. if someone needs help. help them its not rocket science.

if everyone was less selfish i am pretty sure the world wouldn't be in the state it is now.

HowardTJMoon · 30/01/2014 21:46

It's an offence to be drunk in a public place with a child under seven. Right or wrong, that's the law.

For what it's worth my ex used to turn up drunk to pick up our DCs from school. The teachers had apparently noticed it but done nothing. They didn't even mention it to me. I only found out once Social Services finally got involved (via another route) and it came out during the case conference.

WilsonFrickett · 30/01/2014 21:48

Apparently I was sort of rocking back and forward in the playground this morning. One of my friends came over and snapped me out of it. I was very cold and miles away and was just... Wobbling.

Otoh my other friends boss was really wobbly and shaky when I popped by her office at lunchtime. But he has MS.

jellymaker · 30/01/2014 21:52

Sorry m.s. sufferer here. Often wobbly on my feet. Have had lots of weird looks over the years. A number of comments etc. you should be sure of your facts before you get involved. Short of turning up with my stick at school gate every dAy which I know my kids wouldn't want, I 'm guessing a lot people have thought I am pissed.

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/01/2014 22:02

If someone was drunk to the point of it being a problem I would describe it as being pissed as arseholes,

To me wobbly means the same as slightly tipsy but not what would be described as actually drunk.

Perhaps if the op comes back she can clarify what she means

weregoingtothezoo · 31/01/2014 06:57

SaucyJack apologies, I thought I had made that clear - either, she is not embarrassed like a number of posters on this thread and thinks a one off is fine, OR it's a relatively late sign in a progressive condition. Depends whether you want to take the risk. And dudey?? Did you mean that to sound quite so rude??

Vampyre no, I didn't.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 31/01/2014 07:15

Coldlightofday- some teachers are good like that, some are useless, that's why it's important to mention it. As someone said up thread this is how kids can slip through the net because everyone presumes something is being done.

mygrandchildrenrock · 31/01/2014 07:20

I'm intrigued that you don't think the teacher didn't report it. How do you know she didn't walk away from the parent and go and report it to the safeguarding officer at the school, if that wasn't in fact herself.
Teacher's make professional judgements every day but don't usually advertise the fact.

JakeBullet · 31/01/2014 07:38

jelly my cousin's wife has Huntingdons Disease.......people think she is drunk at times too but she isn't Sad.

In this case though not only did the Mum look drunk, she smelt strongly of alcohol.

The OP doesn't HAVE to contact SS, she can speak in private to the school and say she noticed and was concerned. She can even reach out the hand of friendship to the Mum as well.

Doing nothing though is not an option.....too many children suffer because everyone assumes that someone else is dealing with it. Try talking to the adult survivors of an alcoholic parent......most if not all will tell you it was awful and that they have their own ongoing problems as a result.

SaucyJack · 31/01/2014 09:24

And dudey?? Did you mean that to sound quite so rude??

Eh? Would you prefer cunt next time?

LiberalLibertine · 31/01/2014 10:25

Sorry to hear that zoo :(

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