Idiot daughter has dumped lovely boyfriend

[Droves]

Today of all days FFs.

I'm so annoyed at her . He's lovely , nice family , supportive to her , not a rude bloke , not a waste of space just a nice respectful young man .

She's an idiot . She just wasn't getting enough excitement " he's too boring " ( read he's ran out of money and can't afford to take her out clubbing , as he bought her 6 Xmas gifts ) .

Yesterday , even though he's skint ( student ) he took her to pub for a few hours . She came home drunk , but had no money herself .

She was being vile , playing games , wanting attention . He's just left , I asked him if he's ok , he replied he will be fine , looked really upset .

Thing is daughter is in floods of tears now . Because she didn't expect him just to accept its finished so easy WTAF ? . ( He did say to begin with he didn't want to split up ) .

How did she think it ok to be so horrible ? .
I'm ashamed of her .

I'm worried she will end up with some "exciting" dickhead ( like her father ) .

Poor boyfriend , I am so hurt for him ...he's exactly who you'd wish for a son in law . Some girl will be lucky to have him , my dd is an idiot to do this .

It's heartbreaking ... All the dreams I had for them , gone . All the future grandchildren I'd been looking forward too in the distant future ...gone . Bless him , he was saving to buy her an engagement ring for when she had finished uni .

Where did I go wrong with her ? .

I can understand you feeling upset and sorry for him but this is her life and you need to let her get on with it and make her own mistakes.

She will realize what a fool she is soon enough, not much you can do until then.

Just because you like him doesn't mean she has to. I think you need to stay out of it.

Just sit tight and don't say too much. My lovely cousin got dumped by his GDP as she wanted more excitement. The minute he started seeig someone else she realised the error of her ways. They are now engaged with a baby.

Oh, for goodness's sake. She has the right to break up with whomever she wants to, and by the sound of it, she was trying! Similarly, he is allowed to accept being dumped, and it sounds like he was right!

getting knocked up by a dickhead

Charming

She sounds like she needs to sort her attitude out before inflicting herself on the next poor soul.

I assume she's only young and you're getting way ahead of yourself to have assumed she'd be with him forever etc!

Leave her be, my ex was 'perfect' on paper but he bored me rigid too, plus she needs to make her own mistakes/ decisions

Your post makes me really sad- you sound as though you like him more than her.

She is entitled to make her own decisions. She obviously has her reasons, and maybe it's better than stringing him along if she's not serious?

As for the comment about grandchildren- words fail me.

Hairy , I married the dickhead that's worse .

I know I should leave them to sort it , that's why I'm venting on here .
I think dd was just being a brat , that's why she's upset now .
And also why I think she's been an idiot .

where did you go wrong?
good place to start might be rereading your op;
if thats how her own mother talks about her no wonder she displays odd behaviour.
jeez, with friends like you who needs enemies?

It sounds as if he deserves better TBH.

Well it's her choice surely? I think I'd be taking a big step back from this in terms of how wonderful he is and more wondering if she is ok. Could be a case of right bloke, wrong moment? She has to be able to work this out for herself without feeling she's let everyone else down.

"All the dreams I had for them gone" .....how old is she....you are taking this very badly....is it her first boyfriend?

YABU to even think about it. It's nothing to do with you.

Ah, you sound a bit like my mum.

In floods of tears when I said I wanted to leave exH and even got my dad to call and insist I didn't leave him because 'mum was so upset'.

You don't know what's going on.

ExH came across as charming, perfect gent, good husband/father, blah blah. Parents offered to take him in because he was 'wonderful'.

Luckily he showed his true colours pretty quickly and my family flocked to my side (bit late, but I got over it).

No one ever really knows what's going on in someone else's relationship.

Support your daughter. Sounds like she needs it.

:)

I hope I never speak about my DD like that, or even think of her in such a negative way. I'm erring on the assumption you are projecting.

You made your mistakes, don't project onto your daughter and don't call her a brat or an idiot, that again is you projecting.

You are her mother

To be fair those were the op's words and it's hardly the first thread where someone's dared to suggest that children learn about relationships from their parents' example.

OP - your daughter is still young, too young for you to be thing about her getting married. Let her finish uni, get a career, travel if she wishes, date other people. Perhaps she'll get back with this guy in the future, perhaps she won't. But it shouldn't be the be-all and end all of her life right now. And she does sound like hard work sorry to say.

To be fair, she was under quite some expectation. You'd planned their wedding, entire future by the sounds of things!
She sounds like she behaved badly and will regret it. But I think you sound like you are trying to live through your daughter too much.

Bless him , he was saving to buy her an engagement ring for when she had finished uni

And maybe that's just not what she wants, to have her life planned out for her when she's still at uni, why do you want her married off the minute she graduates

Maybe he had a tiny crooked penis?

I agree. You should let her get on with it. My parents were quite interfering and it wasn't a good thing. So don't go down that road.

If you like him that much, then just be pleased he's had a lucky escape.

OP - you are far too involved. Step out of your DD's relationships.